Mother fighting Father for her kids..

[mommyof4]

I have been degraded enough. Don't belittle me. Teach me. Give me proper advice. A MAN is the one that made me so unsure of myself. I have always been all about my kids ALWAYS!! I moved out of the little town I was in because I wasn't making enough money to get them things they really needed. Like my daughter needs braces. I am paying for all of that. If I would have stayed there her teeth would never get fixed. I do things that will benefit them in the future. I have school funds for them things like that.

YOU are the one that gave that MAN the power over you. Accept that fact and start working from there. Accept the fact that you then turned around and did it again. (Luckily for you, it seems he does have your best interest at heart, for now at least). It shouldn't take a man to tell you what you should do regarding your children and it shouldn't take another man to 'snap you out of your trance'.

I AM giving you the help I can, you just don't recognize it yet. You won't until you own your responsibility in this mess.

Is there some reason that you couldn't find a job somewhere closer than 5 states away from your kids?

 

[Emmyjeang]

Yeah...

Okay, first, if my husband told me I had mental problems, I would probably slap him upside the head and declare my mental problems cured, but that's just me. (and no, I am not advocating physical violence...it's a figure of speech).

Anywho....

Your psychiatrist has not diagnosed and/or treated your ex, so his/her testimony is worth diddly squat.

So now, not only do you have the problem that you voluntarily left your children with him (thus stating loud and clear you thought he was a fit father and that was the best situation for your children) you also have a documented history or mental illness. Sweetie...you got problems here and I don't know that any of us are the ones to give you the help you need in this mess. We can give you general legal info and advice, but your issues are HUGE.

I have documentation that he is the reason for me being medicated. He used to go in with me to see the shrink. The shrink thought there was some coercion and sent me to the mental health director. And in fact I did not need meds he got pissed and said the doctor didn't know wtf she was talking about. I haven't taken a med since..I don't need too. She is helping me in court defending my "suposed" mental problem that i never had..Oh, if i wasn't 18 years old I wouldn't have been so stupid by letting him run my life. I was young and just lost my dad. I was broken.

 

[Emmyjeang]

ok then something is missing from your story. How did your ex get custody of the daughter that isnt even his?

She was 6 months old when we started dating. He helped me take care of her. I was 18 and I lived in the projects when the ex and I met. My dad just died. He scooped me up talked me into sellin all of my stuff. Moved me to Orlando we had a son. We moved back here I had enough of him he kicked me out. I had no place to take my kids. I didn't want to be one of those moms that drag there kids through homeless nights when they had a house and bed that the ex and I provided for them. I asked Mark if he could take the kids until i got back on my feet. He made me sign a notorized letter stating that she was gong to live with him because I had nothing. He took me to court and made it legal.

 

[mommyof4]

I have documentation that he is the reason for me being medicated. He used to go in with me to see the shrink. The shrink thought there was some coercion and sent me to the mental health director. And in fact I did not need meds he got pissed and said the doctor didn't know wtf she was talking about. I haven't taken a med since..I don't need too. She is helping me in court defending my "suposed" mental problem that i never had..Oh, if i wasn't 18 years old I wouldn't have been so stupid by letting him run my life. I was young and just lost my dad. I was broken.

I'm done.....You're still making excuses and there is much more to this than you are sharing.

You have big issues to deal with in this custody proceeding. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Emmyjeang]

YOU are the one that gave that MAN the power over you. Accept that fact and start working from there. Accept the fact that you then turned around and did it again. (Luckily for you, it seems he does have your best interest at heart, for now at least). It shouldn't take a man to tell you what you should do regarding your children and it shouldn't take another man to 'snap you out of your trance'.

I AM giving you the help I can, you just don't recognize it yet. You won't until you own your responsibility in this mess.

Is there some reason that you couldn't find a job somewhere closer than 5 states away from your kids?

I was dumb to fall for it. But he said if I moved it would give him the incentive to move south too.. Did he?? No. That is actually stated in a court order that me and him were to move back to Orlando and he got my daughters bio dad to agree with it with no support.

 

[Emmyjeang]

I'm done.....You're still making excuses and there is much more to this than you are sharing.

You have big issues to deal with in this custody proceeding. I wish you the best of luck.

I know I screwed up. I am not denying that. I never should of left my kids. EVER i know that. I am trying to make things better and I don;t know where to start. Thats why i am here.. Looking for a starting point. My attorney doesn't have enough balls for this case.

 

[mommyof4]

I know I screwed up. I am not denying that. I never should of left my kids. EVER i know that. I am trying to make things better and I don;t know where to start. Thats why i am here.. Looking for a starting point. My attorney doesn't have enough balls for this case.

If you are not confident in your atty's abilities or willingness to fight for you (even if it is just your perception), find a new atty with whom you are comfortable and confident.

 

[2Mistakes]

She was 6 months old when we started dating. He helped me take care of her. I was 18 and I lived in the projects when the ex and I met. My dad just died. He scooped me up talked me into sellin all of my stuff. Moved me to Orlando we had a son. We moved back here I had enough of him he kicked me out. I had no place to take my kids. I didn't want to be one of those moms that drag there kids through homeless nights when they had a house and bed that the ex and I provided for them. I asked Mark if he could take the kids until i got back on my feet. He made me sign a notorized letter stating that she was gong to live with him because I had nothing. He took me to court and made it legal.

Ya know, I just had a tooth pulled on Friday and I don't think the dentist had to pull as hard to get that tooth out as people are having to pull here to get coherent answers from you!

And I've developed dry socket, so here's fair warning. I'm not the happiest of people right now. And I have a wife who was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder AND had her tooth pulled as well. Plus I cut my finger to the bone last night cutting avacados for guacamole. Which turned out to be the best guacamole ever.

So, lets make this very simple:

Child 1 - This is the child who is not biologically your ex's child, correct? Yes or no will suffice.

What are the COURT ORDERS in effect for custody of that child?

 

[Ohiogal]

I call my kids everyday. The ex does not answer the phone nor does he return my calls. My attorney did say I could take my daughter BUT. the real dads opinion matters even know he has never done a thing. I see my kids every few months. I have never broken contact with my kids. I didn't just roll over and let the ex screw me either. I am scared to death of him..not physically but mentally. He screwed me up so bad mentally i felt like he was my master and to not disobey him. I write the kids letters and he witholds the letters from the kids.. He is alienating me. I Finally filed a petition when my husband snapped me out of the trance. Now the ex is taking me to court for support. In the mediation agreement it states that neither party can seek support. Does that have to be upheld??

No that does NOT have to be upheld. Parents can NOT waive support for the future. He is entitled to get a child support order against you. YOU have a legal obligation to support your children which you have NOT done.

 

[Ohiogal]

If I could go get my kid without going to jail I would. He is a legal guardian. He didn't adopt her but he is a guardian. Mess is not a strong enough word for this..

It is a mess of your own making though. No one to blame but the one in the mirror.

 

[Ohiogal]

Scotch free?? Me fighting every day with my ex to give me back my kids, paying 700 a month for insurance when the ex wanted them to stay on medicaid, paying for cell phones for my kids that the ex hides from them so I can't talk to them, I call my kids every night and get no answer or a call back from my ex. My kids are 10 and 8. They tell me all the time they would rather live here with me. Scotch free?? um no.. I don't want to be scotch free. I am just trying to do my part. My ex will not let me do my part.

Why are you paying $700 a month for insurance? Why are you paying for cell phones (those are NOT necessities). And the phrase is SCOTT FREE. You are not doing your part. You left your children 4 years ago and MOVED SEVERAL STATES away over a year ago. And you never moved for custody until now. You need to understand that it does NOT look good for a court.

 

[Ohiogal]

I do my part. I buy their clothes, I buy them the toys they want, I help the Ex pay his utility bills. He is ONLY taking me to court because I filed for custody. One week after I filed custody he filed for support. I have NO problem paying for my kids. none at all!! I give him 600 dollars to bring them to me every holiday or i will go up there to see them. I didn't just vanish..

YOU MOVED -- you should be paying for transportation. But none of that is the same as actually SUPPORTING YOUR CHILDREN by paying child support.

 

[Ohiogal]

See, my ex led me to believe that I had a mental problem. I went to see a DR. and you those doctors will medicate anyone. I got on meds and he said those weren't strong enough. I went back until I got to the point I was pretty much a robot. I was his robot. I wasn't allowed to work. I was a stay at home mom which was great. People around me were telling me that the relationship was unhealthy. I switched shrinks and she told me that he is narcisistic and he HAS to have control and that he has been controlling me. SO, the shrink is helping me at trial in May.

YOU went to the doctor. YOU got stronger meds. YOU took the meds. YOU chose to be a stay at home mom. YOU are making excuses when quite frankly YOU need to be taking responsibility for the choices -- good or bad -- that YOU made. The shrink ETHICALLY cannot diagnose ANYONE she hasn't treated. If she is going to do that without treating him watch her be DESTROYED on the witness stand.

 

[Ohiogal]

I know I screwed up. I am not denying that. I never should of left my kids. EVER i know that. I am trying to make things better and I don;t know where to start. Thats why i am here.. Looking for a starting point. My attorney doesn't have enough balls for this case.

What is the substantial change of circumstance in the children's lives? Because if he has custody of both children YOU NEED a substantial change of circumstance in their lives showing a detriment as a reason why they should be with you! NOT A POSITIVE CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE!

 

[Silverplum]

What is the substantial change of circumstance in the children's lives? Because if he has custody of both children YOU NEED a substantial change of circumstance in their lives showing a detriment as a reason why they should be with you! NOT A POSITIVE CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE!

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