My child's mother is planning a move, need advice

[Zigner]

You didn't object when she moved out of state the first time, so you have a LOT less reason to object now.

I gotta disagree with you on this one Misty. Moving 400 miles is MUCH different than moving 2,700 miles.

 

[LdiJ]

They were living 6 hours away and our plan had us meeting half way. I have my daughter for a 4 night weekend every month plus longer summer and holiday visits. Thanks for all the help. I just can't understand why a parent can move across the country without having to prove it's in child's best interest. I'm looking at long distance plans now.

Its legal technicalities basically.

If you and she lived in the same community or very close to each other in the same state, then a judge would be able to stop mom relocating the child WITH mom, if the judge felt that would be in the child's best interest. But a judge cannot stop mom from relocating herself.

However, you were 6 hours apart, in different states. Therefore either a judge already ordered that mom could relocated from your community with the child, or you agreed to that.

Now, granted it appears that mom has temporarily moved back to OR, but she won't be there long enough to re-establish residency.

The child has been in mom's primary care all along...with long distance visitation for you. So, the judge would have to determine what would be the least disruptive for the child...moving with mom, or being separated from mom to live with you. Unfortunately, since the child has primarily lived with mom, and you have already been exercising a long distance schedule, its honestly not going to be in your child's best interest to be separated from mom.

Now...what you have a very decent shot at getting, is mom being responsible for the bulk of, if not all, the transportation costs and a decent long distance schedule.

The typical long distance schedule is based on the school calender, even for children that are not yet school aged. That is every other Thanksgiving or Fall break, a week at Christmas, every or every other Spring Break and anywhere from 1/2 to 3/4s of the summer. Its also becoming more and more typical to add in weekly or twice weekly webcam (of whatever type) visits as well as phone calls.

One additional argument that you can make for mom being required to provide the transportation, is that for the shorter visits (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break) mom has family in the area and could travel there with the child and remain there, without incurring any hotel costs, and could therefore would not have to incur two round trip tickets for mom to escort the child back and forth.

Its also quite likely that you could get additional visits in NY, if you cover the costs to travel there to visit the child. Quite often something like that is written into the orders that you can visit in the child's community, any time you like, with 14 or 30 days notice to the CP.

 

[CJane]

I gotta disagree with you on this one Misty. Moving 400 miles is MUCH different than moving 2,700 miles.

It's different, but legally speaking, if Dad's visitation QUANTITY can be maintained, then it's unlikely that a relocation on Mom's part is going to have an impact on custody, whether it's another 200 miles or another 2000 miles.

Dad has very few days right now - not even 30% time. That's pretty easy to maintain from a distance.

OP - you stated the child is too young to fly. But I do believe there are several airlines that allow a 5 year old to fly, though there are restrictions.

 

[trex1119]

It's different, but legally speaking, if Dad's visitation QUANTITY can be maintained, then it's unlikely that a relocation on Mom's part is going to have an impact on custody, whether it's another 200 miles or another 2000 miles.

Dad has very few days right now - not even 30% time. That's pretty easy to maintain from a distance.

OP - you stated the child is too young to fly. But I do believe there are several airlines that allow a 5 year old to fly, though there are restrictions.

When she moved to Washington 2 years back it was to go to school and live with family. She had said her schooling was 2years and she had the intention of moving back. She made very frequent trips to Oregon sometimes coming every weekend and did 90% percent of the transportation for my visits because she wanted to come to Oregon. In addition to the 80 overnight i have had a lot of extra day visits because she came to oregon so much. I did not have a lawyer until after she moved and did not know I could object. Once I had a lawyer it took 8 months to get a new plan and she had gotten a restraining order against me making it more difficult. I now know there is more I can do bit it sounds like I won't have much luck. The long distance plan we have now is much different than a plan needing a plane ride, but I understand why I would have a hard time arguing for custody.

 

[mistoffolees]

I gotta disagree with you on this one Misty. Moving 400 miles is MUCH different than moving 2,700 miles.

Not that much.

Qualitatively, moving from the same city to 400 miles away involves making overnights almost impossible and requires a long drive or flight to get to either place, so long distance visitation will apply.

Moving to 2700 requires a flight - but that's no more inconvenient (and probably not much more expensive) than a 400 mile drive. It still requires a long distance visitation plan.

OP gave up a non-long distance visitation plan voluntarily.