R
rickohshey
Guest
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? California
My neighbor asked me if my 5 year old daughter could go swimming with her almost 3 year old and her 4 year old. Her 16 year old daughter was going to supervise the 3 kids. She then asked me if it was okay for my daughter to go without floaties. I told her it was okay because my daughter can swim well and I felt her 16 year old was capable of watching them.
Shortly after they left for the pool which is a community pool for our complex and no lifeguard on duty, my wife who was home from work sick expressed her concern for our daughter being watched by the 16 year old. I told her I thought it was okay but I’d call the mother for some reassurance and possibly go to the pool. I used the excuse of wanting to know if my daughter had a towel and then asked if she thought her daughter was capable of watching the 3 kids. She assured me it was fine and that she had done it many times before.
About an hour or two later, we heard sirens very close and I immediately went to the pool out of concern. When I arrived the 16 year old was crying hysterically and being questioned by a sheriff. I saw my daughter running around crying heavily and picked her up to comfort her. I then asked the grandmother who had already arrived there what happened and she told me that the nearly 3 year old had drowned and it didn’t look like she’d make it. I retuned with my daughter home and told my wife who was devastated by the news as was I.
Unfortunately, the child died we found out an hour or so later. We tried to be there for their family to comfort them and offer support, but by the 2nd day we realized something was just not right and came to realize through others in the neighborhood that the mother had convinced herself that my daughter removed her child’s floaties and caused her death. We were very hurt by this and there was absolutely no evidence whatsoever to back her claim, but we decided to just give her space and not cause her grief by bringing it up.
My wife tried to approach her and see how she was doing about a week later and she told my wife that she hated my daughter and that she hated us and that my daughter was evil and other comments. My wife walked away and we haven’t spoken to them since.
We have now heard through other neighbors that she is telling everyone that my daughter killed her daughter and to stay away from her. She is also telling everyone that she is going to sue us. Her accusation has also escalated to accusing my daughter of removing the floaties and actually pushing her into the water and watching her drown. It’s sickening what she has rationalized as the truth. Comments made to my wife by her before we stopped communicating with them made us realize how distorted her thinking really was.
This whole experience has been difficult for us, but we have not spoken to their family out of respect for their loss and we don’t want to upset them in their time of grief. We also feel it is best not to say anything in case we end up in litigation over this. We are however getting to the point where we are not going to sit back and let her bash our daughter continuously. We are thinking of talking to an attorney about the matter to see if there is anything we should do at this point. It’s been over 2 months now and we’ve been more than patient about the whole thing; letting her try and get through the different stages of grief etc. Enough is enough though, and we are not going to just turn the other check anymore.
I am curious of how others feel about our situation, and encourage comments.
Thanks for listening.
My neighbor asked me if my 5 year old daughter could go swimming with her almost 3 year old and her 4 year old. Her 16 year old daughter was going to supervise the 3 kids. She then asked me if it was okay for my daughter to go without floaties. I told her it was okay because my daughter can swim well and I felt her 16 year old was capable of watching them.
Shortly after they left for the pool which is a community pool for our complex and no lifeguard on duty, my wife who was home from work sick expressed her concern for our daughter being watched by the 16 year old. I told her I thought it was okay but I’d call the mother for some reassurance and possibly go to the pool. I used the excuse of wanting to know if my daughter had a towel and then asked if she thought her daughter was capable of watching the 3 kids. She assured me it was fine and that she had done it many times before.
About an hour or two later, we heard sirens very close and I immediately went to the pool out of concern. When I arrived the 16 year old was crying hysterically and being questioned by a sheriff. I saw my daughter running around crying heavily and picked her up to comfort her. I then asked the grandmother who had already arrived there what happened and she told me that the nearly 3 year old had drowned and it didn’t look like she’d make it. I retuned with my daughter home and told my wife who was devastated by the news as was I.
Unfortunately, the child died we found out an hour or so later. We tried to be there for their family to comfort them and offer support, but by the 2nd day we realized something was just not right and came to realize through others in the neighborhood that the mother had convinced herself that my daughter removed her child’s floaties and caused her death. We were very hurt by this and there was absolutely no evidence whatsoever to back her claim, but we decided to just give her space and not cause her grief by bringing it up.
My wife tried to approach her and see how she was doing about a week later and she told my wife that she hated my daughter and that she hated us and that my daughter was evil and other comments. My wife walked away and we haven’t spoken to them since.
We have now heard through other neighbors that she is telling everyone that my daughter killed her daughter and to stay away from her. She is also telling everyone that she is going to sue us. Her accusation has also escalated to accusing my daughter of removing the floaties and actually pushing her into the water and watching her drown. It’s sickening what she has rationalized as the truth. Comments made to my wife by her before we stopped communicating with them made us realize how distorted her thinking really was.
This whole experience has been difficult for us, but we have not spoken to their family out of respect for their loss and we don’t want to upset them in their time of grief. We also feel it is best not to say anything in case we end up in litigation over this. We are however getting to the point where we are not going to sit back and let her bash our daughter continuously. We are thinking of talking to an attorney about the matter to see if there is anything we should do at this point. It’s been over 2 months now and we’ve been more than patient about the whole thing; letting her try and get through the different stages of grief etc. Enough is enough though, and we are not going to just turn the other check anymore.
I am curious of how others feel about our situation, and encourage comments.
Thanks for listening.