No court ordered custody.. do we have to let the kids go back to their mother?

[Just Blue]

I like you too! Thanks for your advice, and I love the common sense quote! It obviously must be illegal in her world, kind of how shacking up with a married man is a "non issue".

I am "generally" not a overly moralistic person. But I honestly don't see how it is in the children best interest to watch their parents start a new relationship, when the old one isn't officially over.

 

[Aprile]

I am "generally" not a overly moralistic person. But I honestly don't see how it is in the children best interest to watch their parents start a new relationship, when the old one isn't officially over.

I agree! How hard must it be to say to their classmates that their parents are still married but both of them have boyfriend/girlfirends! Not only that but mom is pregnant(Ten grand says that daddy had a minor slip and fall into mommy and that baby number four really is his) and step girlfriend/person trying to be stepford wife is a psycho know it all who makes you strip at the door and put everything in the washer!! Or is it that OP keeps the kids clothes so mom sends them in whatever ratty play clothes they have so that the money she spends on clothes doesn't wind up staying at pretend mommys house?? I think that this lady is a drama queen and that there is sooooo much more to this story. I would die to hear what the real mother has to say!!!

 

[Ohiogal]

I like you.

Newbies I like scare me. The last newbie I liked was proserpina. Make of that what you will.

 

[stealth2]

Its in the last two years that they have seen that there is another way to live.

Here's the problem. Prior to that, Dad lived with Mom - and the kids - for many years. And apparently didn't do anything THEN to help the kids see how to live. He needs to take responsibility for his role in raising the kids to not know to shower daily, make sure they have clean clothes, etc. So it's a little hard to believe that he really sees a problem here. I understand that YOU do, but they're not your kids. As long as they're not in danger, there is nothing much you can do.

Dad is totally not credible at this point, IMO. If he wants to change that, he can come here and ask his questions himself.

 

[CJane]

So, I have a question.

Dad is in the Army NATIONAL GUARD.

Do they GET BAH and all that other stuff? And are they SUBJECT to court martial if not currently on active duty?

 

[TheGeekess]

So, I have a question.

Dad is in the Army NATIONAL GUARD.

Do they GET BAH and all that other stuff? And are they SUBJECT to court martial if not currently on active duty?

Short answer: No.

I noticed that in the first post, but everyone started in about military and I just figured I'd read the post wrong. It's easy enough to do when OP writes reams and reams....

 

[CJane]

Short answer: No.

I noticed that in the first post, but everyone started in about military and I just figured I'd read the post wrong. It's easy enough to do when OP writes reams and reams....

I was just getting a bit concerned that any actual legal advice regarding these kids was getting lost in the whole "The Army will destroy adulterers!!!!!" crap. I worked for the Navy for a long time. I've never known so many people in one place that were in the "swinger" lifestyle. I'm of the opinion that in general, the military could give a crap about adultery.

On another note, it IS logical to assume that because the kids lived with mom AND dad for most of their lives, DAD is equally to blame for the lack of hygiene, etc.

 

[my life is mine]

Since in first post, OP did not mention another job for Dad, I made an assumption that Dad has been activated to active duty. I may possibly been incorrect but OP has not corrected any of us who have made that assumption and actually posted reference material dealing with military.

OP also said they were seeking legal aide from military, Dad is more than welcome to do that if Mom has not done that already. The military will talk to either spouse about the situation and give advice, but nothing beyond that, as they cannot represent in civil matters.

Adultery is usually not a big issue unless it involves other things, Example: another military member, Fraud (such as BAH), or unless non military member pushes the issue and causes difficulty for military within his/her Command.

 

[Proserpina]

Newbies I like scare me. The last newbie I liked was proserpina. Make of that what you will.

Your flowers and champagne are waiting, Ma'am.

 

[LdiJ]

Since in first post, OP did not mention another job for Dad, I made an assumption that Dad has been activated to active duty. I may possibly been incorrect but OP has not corrected any of us who have made that assumption and actually posted reference material dealing with military.

OP also said they were seeking legal aide from military, Dad is more than welcome to do that if Mom has not done that already. The military will talk to either spouse about the situation and give advice, but nothing beyond that, as they cannot represent in civil matters.

Adultery is usually not a big issue unless it involves other things, Example: another military member, Fraud (such as BAH), or unless non military member pushes the issue and causes difficulty for military within his/her Command.

Which I sure bet that the wife in this case would do, if her military husband and the woman he is committing adultery with tried to keep her children.

 

[Proserpina]

Which I sure bet that the wife in this case would do, if her military husband and the woman he is committing adultery with tried to keep her children.

1000000% agreement here. This does not appear to be a wife who will take things lying down without a fight.

So to speak. Gawd, what is it with me this morning?! My words are coming out all wrong!

 

[Isis1]

1000000% agreement here. This does not appear to be a wife who will take things lying down without a fight.

So to speak. Gawd, what is it with me this morning?! My words are coming out all wrong!

someone getting an early start on the spiked eggnog, eh?

 

[Proserpina]

someone getting an early start on the spiked eggnog, eh?

I believe it is beer o'clock.