Non-married father seeking custody

[stealth2]

My brother doesn't have access to a computer

Does he know what a library looks like? Can he use YOUR computer? Seriously - there ARE options.

 

[MarlenePowers]

Does he know what a library looks like? Can he use YOUR computer? Seriously - there ARE options.

In the real world, he works 14 hr days at a shipyard welding. If he doesn't work he can't provide health insurance etc. for the child. I live in another state. To be completely honest twice with the wise cracks is pretty bad for any site.

 

[soontobemom]

honestly, what i found is when your looking for real advice, these public forums aren't the best place at all. not being mean or sarcastic, i've posted real questions before and was really stressed out and really just got annoyed and frustrated.

Now my advice may be completely pointless since I live in Texas (the heart of the bible belt) and is known to give a father no rights at all pretty much. all i can offer is my opinion and hope it kinda helps you some.

I would try to document everything he does thats benefical to the case. the fact he works 14 hours a day, get a paternity test if you can find the baby, and any all documentation that this woman wasn't exactly stable helps so much!!! if there are any first hand witnesses to her behavior (close friends, babysitters, church members) now is the time to call them and get notarized statements from each, the more the better!! even if they argued in front of a neighbor and she got just a little bit out of hand, GET A NOTARAZIED STATMENT FROM THAT NEIGHBOR!! And tell him to keep a tape a recorder on him all times, just in case for some reason she tries to reach him he needs to record everything she says!

And i do agree that there is "his" side, "her" side, and in between is the truth. but there's a child in the middle, and apparently this isn't the first time this has happened with her. and i really hate to break it to everyone, but i have experienced this first hand, a woman will use the fact she's "just a tiny defenseless woman" to her advantage and go to extremes to make herself look hurt and defenseless against that big ole mean man. even if it means going to a shelter and being fed and clothed for free for no reason in the world.

I don't know the circumstances, but because of my upbringing and the abuse i've survived at the hands of a "poor defenseless little woman" i am a huge advocate of fathers rights in Texas (which is pretty much non-existant) I wish you all the luck and hope the best for the most important party in this unfortunate situation: THE CHILD!

 

[Mnemosyne]

To summarize for the previous poster...

honestly...
my advice may be completely pointless since I live in Texas...
all i can offer is my opinion and...
I don't know the circumstances

 

[Proserpina]

To summarize for the previous poster...

Yeap.

And what is worse is that she is advocating illegal activity.

 

[soontobemom]

LOL what illegal activity am i adovating exactly? for the best parental figure to get custody? and i don't know the circumstances, i was just actually offering my opinion from my experience based on what the aunt said. they can take everything i said with a grain of salt. but your right, just because a woman said it happened must mean it really did. gosh where are my senses.

 

[soontobemom]

and im sorry but yall are offering the same, everyone in different states just opinions and sarcastic remarks that are borderline sexist.

 

[Ohiogal]

All I can BELIEVE is what I have read in black and white, that's notarized. But I just have to say Hon, is that you sound very sarcastic. I came here looking for information, what gives???

Wait a minute -- LD sounds very sarcastic? Seriously? She is one of the least sarcastic people here. You sound very naive.

 

[stealth2]

In the real world, he works 14 hr days at a shipyard welding. If he doesn't work he can't provide health insurance etc. for the child. I live in another state. To be completely honest twice with the wise cracks is pretty bad for any site.

May as well go for the Trifecta. Libraries are open on Saturdays.

 

[stealth2]

I would try to document everything he does thats benefical to the case. the fact he works 14 hours a day

Working 14 hours a day is NOT beneficial for Dad's case, if he's looking to gain custody of the child. Not at all.

and any all documentation that this woman wasn't exactly stable helps so much!!! if there are any first hand witnesses to her behavior (close friends, babysitters, church members) now is the time to call them and get notarized statements from each, the more the better!! even if they argued in front of a neighbor and she got just a little bit out of hand, GET A NOTARAZIED STATMENT FROM THAT NEIGHBOR!!

And a notarized statement will do nothing for him in court. A notarized statement cannot be cross-examined, and therefore will not be admissible. The actual person would have to appear to testify. And lots of folks do not want to get that involved - for good reasons. Dad would have to subpoena them to appear. Which may or may not be worth the time and money.

And tell him to keep a tape a recorder on him all times, just in case for some reason she tries to reach him he needs to record everything she says!

Then Dad had best make sure he can legally do so.

 

[CourtClerk]

for the best parental figure to get custody?

Well, it's hard NOT to be the best parental figure when you're the only one in the competition...

There is only 1 existing parent to this child...
among all the other things wrong with your post.

 

[MarlenePowers]

With all that said....My brother is at least trying to get paternity established and support the child if she is his biologically. He paid for and attended all the prenatal visits, prescriptions, ultra-sounds, etc. You see he doesn't want to be labeled a dead beat dad. He took the child to all the doctors visits after birth, the mother refused to go. He tried to get mom help,took her were she wanted to go, get there and mom refuse to get out of car. He went to see the child, neighbors told him the cops took them away. He went to PD and found they took her to a DV shelter. The point of this thread was to find out how to serve her in a DV shelter after finding the judges ruling of child abuse on her firstborn. That she has no rights to now, no visitation, put up for adoption by the state. Non of our family has ever been in this situation. Hence my post here. I appreciate the info I did get, we have to let the attorney handle it. All of the rest of the post, seem to come from people that just like to belittle fathers that try to do right by what we can only ASSUME are their children. The important thing here is this child's safety and well being.

 

[mistoffolees]

All of the rest of the post, seem to come from people that just like to belittle fathers that try to do right by what we can only ASSUME are their children.

I'm getting really disgusted with this attitude. People get advice that they don't like so the people on this site are all man-haters. That is when they're not woman-haters. Or grandparent-haters.

Amazing we have time for that when we're probably all spending every waking minute beating our kids and kicking the dog.

 

[stealth2]

With all that said....My brother is at least trying to get paternity established and support the child if she is his biologically.

So... why did he not do so at birth?

ETA: How old is the child?

 

[MarlenePowers]

Yeap.

And what is worse is that she is advocating illegal activity.

In response to this: The mom has an arrest record a mile long for DV. Her husband has come forward, yes I said her husband. It gets worse everyday. She abandoned her 7 yr old daughter with him. So that's a total of 3 children now including the 8 week old. She is also skipping out on paying restitution for the windows she kicked out of a police car and on probation for drunk and nude in public. Yes I say by all means lets 'protect' this mom and help her hide from her illegal activity.

I suggest to everyone- have a background check done on any person you are about to sleep with, it costs about 38.00, and can be the best investment you can make for your future.