Not sure where to post...help!

[seagoing]

What you really want to hear is. Your right.The hubby is a mean man that won't leave his home and kids ,pay all the bill his cranky wife socks up and refuses to give all assets to his queen. The very queen that decided to divorece him and HITHIN 3 mos?found a new sextoy.Was it really 3 mos later?????????even so,instead of finding new sex pleasure ,how about finding a marruage counsler.OH BUT ,I bet you saw it how many wanna be EX's see it(are you my ex who remarried and is getting divorced AGAIN?) the story is the same.I'll divorce HIM,get HIS pension,take HIS house,take HIS car,take HIS everything else .Not realizing its a we deal.You might get half of the assets.But the ASSumption you WILL be getting the kids,alimony ,etc is long over.YOU WILL be getting a FULLTIME J.O.B You are just as responsible to support YOUR children as your now husband.Start putting your applications in at Walmart or Mickey D's,the court will assess you child support at least at minimum wage.The house,YOU wont get it.You may think you are going to live there til your youngest child reaches 18.that was "once upon a time".can you pay a mortgage,?doubt it with no income.the tides have changed sweetie.Courts don't give the farm awauy anymore.Especially to wives whom have taken up with another "stud"when she is to be home tending to the family(*you dont work,that was your JOB).Ohio is right ,all the stuff you bitched about was in the hubby's home.unless you can prove he tied you up and beat the password out of ya.Ya got nothing.DO YOU KIDS a FAVOR.Pack up ,move in with the stud.They are only inthe way of what you want.Admit it.Leave the hubby alone,let the kids have a life they are accustomed to in their own home.Take a few bucks,get a trailer with studly and live happily ever after.In closng,ANYONE that reads your post,got your number.Your one of thousands . YOUR NOT UNIQUE

 

[LdiJ]

Actually not quite true. Because employers and others who own computers cannot be prosecuted for reading emails that are processed on their computers. Look at the number of employers who have fired employees because of personal emails that have been read and sent via those computers. This may very well be seen as the same thing. She can make a complaint but if she at one time gave him the passwords then he did nothing wrong.

OG that response disappoints me. Emails sent from and stored on company servers are never private.

However an email sent from a personal laptop is most certainly private.

 

[mommyof4]

I became involved with someone else 3 months after telling him I wanted the divorce.

My friend was NOT the reason for our divorce. I met him long after I told my husband that I wanted a divorce. He was warned that I would move on with my life even if he refused to leave the house. I committed no adultery.

Really? You waited a whole 3 months, huh? Impressive.

As for your so-called infidelity, there is nothing in NJ that says you can't move on with your life and be involved with someone.

You're only partially correct. Once your divorce is final, you are free to move on. While you are still married, bumping uglies with someone other than your spouse is a legal no-no.

 

[LdiJ]

Really? You waited a whole 3 months, huh? Impressive.





You're only partially correct. Once your divorce is final, you are free to move on. While you are still married, bumping uglies with someone other than your spouse is a legal no-no.

While I agree with you morally, legally it depends on whther or not the state is a "fault" state.

 

[mommyof4]

While I agree with you morally, legally it depends on whther or not the state is a "fault" state.

New Jersey has no fault and faut divorce.


http://njlawnet.com/njlawreview/divorceoverview.html#1

FAULT DIVORCE CAUSES OF ACTION

Extreme Cruety
Extreme cruelty includes any physical or mental cruelty which makes it improper or unreasonable to expect that individual to cohabitate with their spouse. N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2(c). The courts are very liberal as to what type of conduct constitutes extreme cruelty.

Adultery
The courts have held that "adultery exists when one spouse rejects the other by entering into a personal intimate relationship with any other person, irrespective of the specific sexual acts performed; the rejection of the spouse coupled with out-of-marriage intimacy constitutes adultery." New Jersey Court Rule 5:4-2 requires that the plaintiff in an adultery divorce case, state the name of the person with whom the offending conduct was committed. This person is known as the correspondent. If the name is not known, the person who files must give as much information as possible tending to describe the adulterer.

Desertion
The willful and continuous desertion by one party for a period of twelve or more months, and satisfactory proof that the parties have ceased to cohabit as man and wife constitutes desertion under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2(b). It is important to note that the parties may live in the same house. The crucial element here is "as man and wife." Thus, desertion may be claimed after twelve or more months of a lack of sexual relations.

Addiction
Under N.S.J.A 2A:34-2(e), addiction involves a dependence on a narcotic or other controlled, dangerous substance, or a habitual drunkenness for a period of twelve or more consecutive months immediately preceding the filing of the complaint. The evidence must show that the use of alcohol and drugs was persistent and substantial. This is not a common ground for divorce.

Institutionalization
When one spouse has been institutionalized for mental illness for a period of twelve or more consecutive months subsequent to the marriage and preceding the filing of the complaint, institutionalization is a ground for divorce under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2(f). The primary issue for this ground for divorce is whether or not the spouse is able to function as a working partner in the marriage.

Imprisonment
Imprisonment as a ground for divorce occurs when a spouse has been imprisoned for eighteen or more months after the marriage. N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2(g). Moreover, the parties must not have resumed cohabitation after the imprisonment.

Deviant Sexual Conduct
Deviant Sexual Conduct occurs if the defendant engages in deviant sexual conduct without the consent of the plaintiff spouse. N.J.S.A. 2A:34-2(h).

I would have posted the exact statutes taken directly from the state, but the site was taking forever.

 

[Ozark_Sophist]

Actually not quite true. Because employers and others who own computers cannot be prosecuted for reading emails that are processed on their computers. Look at the number of employers who have fired employees because of personal emails that have been read and sent via those computers. This may very well be seen as the same thing. She can make a complaint but if she at one time gave him the passwords then he did nothing wrong.

Yes, it is true. It is a violation of federal code.

Edit to add - ECPA (Electronic Communications Privacy Act) plus elsewhere. Gotta run, fish on the line.

 

[Ohiogal]

OG that response disappoints me. Emails sent from and stored on company servers are never private.

However an email sent from a personal laptop is most certainly private.

Did you read the rest of what I posted RIGHT BEFORE THEN! There is case law from NEW JERSEY that backs me up and hence i posted the considerations! It is NOT private if it is sent from MARITAL PROPERTY and the other person accessing it is a spouse or if she has ever allowed her spouse access.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes, it is true. It is a violation of federal code.

Edit to add - ECPA (Electronic Communications Privacy Act) plus elsewhere. Gotta run, fish on the line.

There are ways in which the email is not illegally gotten however. And the same with the email in this case. The questions I asked matter -- there were four of them. If the computer is marital property, if ex has been allowed access to her account in the past or is allowed access to the computer due to it being marital property then he is not breaking the law. Because he can install whatever programs he would like on the computer (such as key logging or what not -- okay not child porn or what have you but you get the point). Even though OP states that it is not marital property because she purchased it after filing -- well that means NOTHING!

One question: WHAT KIND OF FISH? Can I have some?

 

[divorcee2be]

For the record, NJ is a no-fault state. The only bearing assigning fault has is waiving the 18 months you must live apart before filing as opposed to filing no-fault. It does not impact the outcome of the divorce as far as alimony, custody or child support. I filed on the basis of extreme mental cruelty and dissertion which is fault based so I didn't have to wait 18 months. I certainly don't owe you any explanation for my grounds of mental cruelty. As for dissertion, not sleeping with your wife for almost 4 years qualifies!

For all of you sitting on your thrones judging me, I sure hope you don't live in glass houses. You also can't read. I said the laptops are NOT marital property since they were bought with my own money which was NOT received from my husband. THEY WERE NOT PURCHASED WITH ONE PENNY FROM HIM! Do you understand now or should I spell it out further for you? He NEVER had permission to access my account or my password. He was explicitly told he did NOT have permission to ever touch either laptop, and I told him to get off the laptops when I caught him on them several times supposedly playing games. So your whole "joint marital property" argument doesn't apply here. So why aren't you responding further to the credit card fraud? That card had my debt on it...not his. I never tried to assign that debt to him or make him pay any of the bill. He was not a joint owner or authorized user of the account which means he also has no right to any information regarding the account.

I didn't come to this forum to be insulted. I came here to find out if any laws were being broken by him. You're just hell bent on your own morality and wish to judge me. I could care less what you think of me. I'm not the one trying to destroy my children's other parent. This was nothing more than a waste of my time.

 

[divorcee2be]

If a wife was acting the way my husband is acting or trying to destroy her husband's life, she's be seen as a vindictive bitch by the system. Why is he allowed to get away with it then? I've been put on trial for no reason except wanting a divorce. I defend myself since I'm forced to and I'm the one labeled. There is a special place in hell for all of you who advocate what he's doing. He's nothing more than a coward who's hiding behind his daddy's money and expensive attorney.

 

[Ohiogal]

For the record, NJ is a no-fault state. The only bearing assigning fault has is waiving the 18 months you must live apart before filing as opposed to filing no-fault. It does not impact the outcome of the divorce as far as alimony, custody or child support.

Did you see the statute from NJ I quoted. Adultery very well CAN impact alimony.
And no one said it would impact custody or child support. Those are different issues.

I filed on the basis of extreme mental cruelty and dissertion which is fault based so I didn't have to wait 18 months. I certainly don't owe you any explanation for my grounds of mental cruelty. As for dissertion, not sleeping with your wife for almost 4 years qualifies!

Nope. That is not dissertion.

For all of you sitting on your thrones judging me, I sure hope you don't live in glass houses. You also can't read. I said the laptops are NOT marital property since they were bought with my own money which was NOT received from my husband.

Just because you did not receive the money from your husband does not mean they were NOT PURCHASED with marital income. Your income also counts as marital income. His income is not all that is considered marital. ANY INCOME the two of you made during the marriage is marital. Anything bought with it is marital property. CAN YOU GET THAT THROUGH YOUR SKULL?

He NEVER had permission to access my account or my password. He was explicitly told he did NOT have permission to ever touch either laptop, and I told him to get off the laptops when I caught him on them several times supposedly playing games. So your whole "joint marital property" argument doesn't apply here.

Actually it does and I bet a judge would follow it a whole hell of a lot better than your thick skull does.

So why aren't you responding further to the credit card fraud? That card had my debt on it...not his. I never tried to assign that debt to him or make him pay any of the bill. He was not a joint owner or authorized user of the account which means he also has no right to any information regarding the account.

You were the one crying about how he refused to pay your credit card debt and then you turned around and stated that you never expected him to pay the bill. WHICH IS IT? Or did you run up more credit card debt than you can afford and you have decided that only one card out of the many is your repsonsibility? If so then you are wrong. No wonder a judge has ruled against you. You can't keep your stories straight.

I didn't come to this forum to be insulted. I came here to find out if any laws were being broken by him. You're just hell bent on your own morality and wish to judge me. I could care less what you think of me. I'm not the one trying to destroy my children's other parent. This was nothing more than a waste of my time.

You came here and insulted people. You don't want to hear anything but what you want you to hear. Well guess what -- the world doesn't work that way. You whine about being attacked and yet you were the first to do so by calling me .... And then you don't like the fact that people aren't bending over backwards to support you. You have done nothing but disgrace yourself. You have made excuses for sleeping around while still married. You have made excuses about not working and supporting yourself. You have no understanding of the law and when it has tried to be explained to you you refused to listen. I hope the judge hands you an eviction notice and continues ruling against you because apparently based on what you have said he most likely is following the law and you are too ignorant to understand that.

 

[nextwife]

THEY WERE NOT PURCHASED WITH ONE PENNY FROM HIM! Do you understand now or should I spell it out further for you?

Explaining again:

Money earned during the marriage but before divorce is MARITAL.

Had you purchased the laptops with money earned and saved seperately BEFORE the marriage, your assertion that the laptop was not marital would be valid.

As you have only recently been working, I'm curious how you have so much diposable income that you could buy two laptops. Are you sharing household expenses, money being paid toward joint debt and expenses, or do you leave all that for STBX?

 

[LdiJ]

The laptop if bought with marital funds is MARITAL PROPERTY. If bought with separate funds then it could be separate property. But since she is not working then it most likely was bought with marital income -- hence marital property.

I see...so that means that all of her clothing, shoes, personal effects etc are also marital property?....come on OG...you are pushing the envelope here.

Plus, since she said that she purchased them with her own money, it could very well have been prior savings, or an inheritance. If they were purchased after the divorce was initiated, out of current income, then they wouldn't be marital property either.

Op...I repeat my previous advice. Take BOTH of the laptops to a computer shop and get all of the stuff he installed on them removed, and then keep them where he can't get his hands on them....or at least keep yours where he can't get his hands on it.

 

[nextwife]

I see...so that means that all of her clothing, shoes, personal effects etc are also marital property?....come on OG...you are pushing the envelope here.

Technically yes, as are his. Not that he'd have any reason to WANT her clothes, anymore than she'd want is.

If he had bought himself a diamond ring after seperation, are you saying she'd have no right to claim a share of ownership, because he used HIS money, and it's something he wears??? Or is what he earns THEIRS and what she earns HERS?

 

[LdiJ]

Technically yes, as are his. Not that he'd have any reason to WANT her clothes, anymore than she'd want is.

If he had bought himself a diamond ring after seperation, are you saying she'd have no right to claim a share of ownership, because he used HIS money, and it's something he wears??? Or is what he earns THEIRS and what she earns HERS?

I didn't say after separation, I said after the divorce is initiated. And yes, if he bought himself a diamond ring out of his current income (notice I said current income in both cases, I did not include savings or anything else that was marital income, subject to division) then it would also be his separate property.

Under my state's laws personal property is personal property, not marital.