What is the name of your state? Ohio/Texas, but that is neither here nor there on this one...
Hey guys,
I'm having a kinda rough day, needing some advice on this from those of you who have experience.
I'm supposed to be studying for my Ohio Teaching Certification Exam, so the baby is at the sitter's all day. Its my first day without him, so I have too much time on my hands. And I'm reading the forum, and I'm getting text messages and emails from my ex.
He never says he misses the baby. He always says he misses me. Its bugging the crap out of me. Dad is so emotionally needy. I don't whine to him about how he cheated on me and it hurts and how bad I feel that we're not together. I don't tell him that I'm embarrassed that I picked such a lying jerk to be the father of my child. I don't tell him that I'm exhausted from worrying non-stop about custody and legalities and jobs and the such. I don't tell him that I feel so drained emotionally that I don't even feel like I've gotten to enjoy being a mom yet. Dad doesn't even ask about the baby when he texts. He tells me about his day, the weather, his job, his life...
He tells me everything he feels. He tells me how I'm the only one he can talk to. Funny, I wasn't the only one he could bonk. I might have been able to forgive it once. But it was so many times and so underhanded and shady and slimy.
I tell him I only want to talk about the baby. I tell him its over and there is no possibility of us getting back together. He is just guilt tripping the heck out of me.
I feel like to be good parents, we should not even be around each other. I know that I will be happier not having to deal with the crap that is his life, because he is the one who made it that way. I wish he could just visit and care about his child, and leave me out of it. I need anti-anxiety medicine and anti-depressants just to deal with him.
So, since this is a legal forum and I feel a little bad about my rant, how do you deal with visitation guilt trips? I know some of you will say "Grow some balls." I guess I just really want to get along with him and have a good relationship for our child. He is confusing me being nice for me weakening and caving in. Not gonna happen.
I guess there is no legal question here. Just looking for advice on how to be nice and maintain my distance from dad. And to get him to ask about his child, not about me. I know that when we start child support and visitation proceedings he will probably start hating me and then do the exact opposite - try to use everything personal he knows about me to hurt me. I'm sure some of you have been in similar situations.
Help!
Hum
Hey guys,
I'm having a kinda rough day, needing some advice on this from those of you who have experience.
I'm supposed to be studying for my Ohio Teaching Certification Exam, so the baby is at the sitter's all day. Its my first day without him, so I have too much time on my hands. And I'm reading the forum, and I'm getting text messages and emails from my ex.
He never says he misses the baby. He always says he misses me. Its bugging the crap out of me. Dad is so emotionally needy. I don't whine to him about how he cheated on me and it hurts and how bad I feel that we're not together. I don't tell him that I'm embarrassed that I picked such a lying jerk to be the father of my child. I don't tell him that I'm exhausted from worrying non-stop about custody and legalities and jobs and the such. I don't tell him that I feel so drained emotionally that I don't even feel like I've gotten to enjoy being a mom yet. Dad doesn't even ask about the baby when he texts. He tells me about his day, the weather, his job, his life...
He tells me everything he feels. He tells me how I'm the only one he can talk to. Funny, I wasn't the only one he could bonk. I might have been able to forgive it once. But it was so many times and so underhanded and shady and slimy.
I tell him I only want to talk about the baby. I tell him its over and there is no possibility of us getting back together. He is just guilt tripping the heck out of me.
I feel like to be good parents, we should not even be around each other. I know that I will be happier not having to deal with the crap that is his life, because he is the one who made it that way. I wish he could just visit and care about his child, and leave me out of it. I need anti-anxiety medicine and anti-depressants just to deal with him.
So, since this is a legal forum and I feel a little bad about my rant, how do you deal with visitation guilt trips? I know some of you will say "Grow some balls." I guess I just really want to get along with him and have a good relationship for our child. He is confusing me being nice for me weakening and caving in. Not gonna happen.
I guess there is no legal question here. Just looking for advice on how to be nice and maintain my distance from dad. And to get him to ask about his child, not about me. I know that when we start child support and visitation proceedings he will probably start hating me and then do the exact opposite - try to use everything personal he knows about me to hurt me. I'm sure some of you have been in similar situations.
Help!
Hum