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Removing Kids

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LdiJ

Senior Member
There HAD to be warning signs of this behavior before you married him. Why did you ignore them?
Bali, sometimes there really are no warning signs. An old family friend married a man that absolutely everyone thought was really wonderful (and they were engaged for over a year so everyone had time to really get to know him, or so they thought) who turned into an absolute monster just a few weeks after the wedding.
 

Bali Hai

Senior Member
Bali, sometimes there really are no warning signs. An old family friend married a man that absolutely everyone thought was really wonderful (and they were engaged for over a year so everyone had time to really get to know him, or so they thought) who turned into an absolute monster just a few weeks after the wedding.
If something or someone seems too good to be true, RED FLAG!

Test protocol:

Give them alot of grief (create an argument) and monitor reaction.
If someone seems to never want to be away from you because they "love" you so much, take a vacation without them and monitor reaction.

There are a variety of ways to bring out someones true colors. When those true colors or (probable symptoms) come out, RUN!
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
If something or someone seems too good to be true, RED FLAG!

Test protocol:

Give them alot of grief (create an argument) and monitor reaction.
If someone seems to never want to be away from you because they "love" you so much, take a vacation without them and monitor reaction.

There are a variety of ways to bring out someones true colors. When those true colors or (probable symptoms) come out, RUN!
YOU should write a BOOK, Bali.

Express yourself! :)
 

RRevak

Senior Member
There HAD to be warning signs of this behavior before you married him. Why did you ignore them?
There honestly were no warning signs. I had known him since I was very young, even knew other women he had been with prior to me, and honestly had no idea he was capable of such things. None of his prior relationships ever expressed concern over his behavior and his family seemed as if things were a complete shock to them. The worst part was I found out several years AFTER I left him that there WERE in fact prior incidences, and one that even prompted the calling of police. He had been in an argument with his mother that led to him grabbing her by the forearms and yelling at her that he was going to hurt himself if she didn't let him continue to live with her. Of course NOBODY felt it in my best interest to share these things with me until AFTER we had been together, and those same family members were the ones criticizing me for wanting to press charges against him for abuse. Lovely family he had :(. I did go out of town (actually out of the country) for a wedding for a week and he seemed fine with things. His behavior didn't change until we moved in together. Its one of the reasons I always say to NEVER marry someone until you've lived with them for at LEAST a year first. You just don't truly know someone until you live together *sigh*
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
There HAD to be warning signs of this behavior before you married him. Why did you ignore them?
I have had the great blessing of never having been abused, for which I am grateful to God. :)

Unfortunately, I didn't understand the various types of abuse, as you yet do not understand.

Fortunately for everyone here, my very good friend Blue Meanie wrote me and explained many things about the topic, for which I am grateful to her. :) It made me a better person and a better advisor.

Really, Bali. Have some compassion. Do some reading and learning. :)
 

Bali Hai

Senior Member
There honestly were no warning signs. I had known him since I was very young, even knew other women he had been with prior to me, and honestly had no idea he was capable of such things. None of his prior relationships ever expressed concern over his behavior and his family seemed as if things were a complete shock to them. The worst part was I found out several years AFTER I left him that there WERE in fact prior incidences, and one that even prompted the calling of police. He had been in an argument with his mother that led to him grabbing her by the forearms and yelling at her that he was going to hurt himself if she didn't let him continue to live with her. Of course NOBODY felt it in my best interest to share these things with me until AFTER we had been together, and those same family members were the ones criticizing me for wanting to press charges against him for abuse. Lovely family he had :(. I did go out of town (actually out of the country) for a wedding for a week and he seemed fine with things. His behavior didn't change until we moved in together. Its one of the reasons I always say to NEVER marry someone until you've lived with them for at LEAST a year first. You just don't truly know someone until you live together *sigh*
Not even the smallest suspicion? No drug or alcohol abuse? No self destructive behavior at all?

I agree, NEVER marry someone.
 

Bali Hai

Senior Member
I have had the great blessing of never having been abused, for which I am grateful to God. :)

Unfortunately, I didn't understand the various types of abuse, as you yet do not understand.

Fortunately for everyone here, my very good friend Blue Meanie wrote me and explained many things about the topic, for which I am grateful to her. :) It made me a better person and a better advisor.

Really, Bali. Have some compassion. Do some reading and learning. :)
I have compassion, that's why I would try and prevent a destructive relationship rather than being naïve and then a victim.

If anyone gives me the smallest hint of being off their rocker, I'm gone.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I have compassion, that's why I would try and prevent a destructive relationship rather than being naïve and then a victim.

If anyone gives me the smallest hint of being off their rocker, I'm gone.

How do you shave in the morning?!

Puzzled in PNW
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I use Bic double edge disposable razors. I don't have heavy facial hair growth.

How about yourself, I'm guessing a jackhammer?


Bali, Bali, Bali.

You still mad? Don't be mad, bro. Bad for the blood pressure, y'know. Specially when you're already stressed about having to pay alimony!

:cool:
 

Ladyback1

Senior Member
There HAD to be warning signs of this behavior before you married him. Why did you ignore them?

Narcissistic personalities and Sociopathic personalities are extremely GOOD at hiding their "CRAZY". But, YOU would know all about that, wouldn't ya' hun?;)

Just because you are miserable in your life, does not mean that you get to try and make the rest of the world miserable. Seriously...it's hard enough without people like you spreading your version of "cheer".
 
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