Sexual Abuse?

[seniorjudge]

What is SOP?

standard operating procedure

 

[otheruser]

Who are you in this tangled situation? While it is tempting to play guardian angel in the lives of people we care about it may not be as helpful as you think, it may be very detrimental and and it may expose you to serious consequences.

I am the idiot who stayed married far too long to this drunken drug addict..... I have filed for divorce on the grounds of adultery.. Alcohol and drug abuse is not grounds in Maryland or anywhere else that I am aware of. Filing a false, intentional or not, domestic violence report and having me arrested to face a potential jail sentance is not grounds. She has provided me a expeditious legal way out. Rape would have left me with no grounds for an immediate divorce. This thread was an attempt to seek advice to help her get closure and get on with her life. I have fulfilled my obligation. If closure means that she has to accept accountability, so be it. It will not be my concern for much longer (divorce should be final within 45 days). I do know from experience that she has serious problems that I cannot fix and I cannot afford to risk my liberty to try to help her... Realistically, if she were to relapse and kill herself falling down the stairs, I will be investigated and potentially charged with murder. I feel sorry for her, but that is all. It's totally in her hands now.

Thank You

 

[otheruser]

standard operating procedure

Very true..

 

[seniorjudge]

...Realistically, if she were to relapse and kill herself falling down the stairs, I will be investigated and potentially charged with murder....

And why do you say that?

 

[otheruser]

...Realistically, if she were to relapse and kill herself falling down the stairs, I will be investigated and potentially charged with murder....

And why do you say that?

Advice from my attorney

 

[seniorjudge]

Advice from my attorney

Okay, WHY did your attorney say that?

(Pulling teeth is not allowed...dental regulations, you know.)

 

[xylene]

??? !!! ???

Why write about a situation from this third person omniscient perspective?

Because you are manipulative weirdo who wants a divorce on the cheap.

 

[otheruser]

Okay, WHY did your attorney say that?

(Pulling teeth is not allowed...dental regulations, you know.)

I usually avoid the dentist until I am left with no choice...

He wants to make sure that I don't get the stupid idea that she is now somehow cured because she started rehab. My attorney (this one anyway) is also a good friend; he is making sure that I don't risk my liberty by staying to try and fix the marriage. That is what she says she wants, but I am also very aware that she is in a desperate state of mind.

It's always emotionally tough getting rid of a long term investment that went south. People tend to have hope that the value bounces back and you are somehow made whole. However, I am fully aware that there are other much more lucrative investment opportunities. (This metaphore may sound cold, but I am trying to be cold in order to maintain my sanity)

 

[otheruser]

Why write about a situation from this third person omniscient perspective?

Because you are manipulative weirdo who wants a divorce on the cheap.

Wrong.. However, you are entitled to your opinion. I just spent the past 4 months facing a jail sentance and, potentially, the end of my career because of a false statement she filed. She is ill and as a result, my attempting to help her has caused me tremendous emotional and financial pain. I love her and will continue to offer her support. I took her to the treatment center, I paid the bills, I went to her counseling sessions, and have attended AA meetings with her and Al-Anon meetings to try to gain some insite and perspective. Her collective family thinks that I am a Saint for not leaving her or abandoning her. I am litterally sick to my stomach every day because of what has happened and who she became. I just cannot afford to be her husband...

 

[xylene]

Wrong.. However, you are entitled to your opinion. I just spent the past 4 months facing a jail sentance and, potentially, the end of my career because of a false statement she filed. She is ill and as a result, my attempting to help her has caused me tremendous emotional and financial pain. I love her and will continue to offer her support. I took her to the treatment center, I paid the bills, I went to her counseling sessions, and have attended AA meetings with her and Al-Anon meetings to try to gain some insite and perspective. Her collective family thinks that I am a Saint for not leaving her or abandoning her. I am litterally sick to my stomach every day because of what has happened and who she became. I just cannot afford to be her husband...

Point taken, and agreed with. But I will say approaching it as if she was raped or a victim along with your third person presentation of the facts makes it seem little odd and hard to discern what your situation really is

Best wishes.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Advice from my attorney

If you have an attorney, then why are you here? I'm sorry all, but this whole thread just seems odd to me.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Why write about a situation from this third person omniscient perspective?

Because you are manipulative weirdo who wants a divorce on the cheap.

Ditto! Exactly my thoughts.

 

[seniorjudge]

...

He wants to make sure that I don't get the stupid idea that she is now somehow cured because she started rehab. My attorney (this one anyway) is also a good friend; he is making sure that I don't risk my liberty by staying to try and fix the marriage. That is what she says she wants, but I am also very aware that she is in a desperate state of mind.

....

I always advise people to never be friends with their physician, lawyer, dentist, the kid who mows the lawn, etc.

But it sounds like he was just trying to scare you. Otherwise, I agree with his advice.

Stay away from her.

Period.

Even if.

End of story.

 

[seniorjudge]

If you have an attorney, then why are you here? I'm sorry all, but this whole thread just seems odd to me.

As does the whole world to me....

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

What is the name of your state? Maryland

This may not be the correct forum but part of the issue directly relates to a domestic violence case.

A very attractive married woman in her early 40's has a history of alcohol and drug abuse.

Until her detox and initial rehab, which began approximately 2 weeks ago,

You stated she just now went into rehab again. they let her out within the last two weeks?

This woman also suffered through a physically and mentally abusive 15yr + relationship which has caused long term psychological damage.

So you are the abuser? Great, thanks for wasting my time with your story.

Anyone else caching on to this?.

Eventually, she came to the realization that her husband had not hit her and invoked marital priviledge.

What is Marital Priviledge

?Charges were dropped and the husband was found not guilty for lack of evidence.

You stated she was abused by you.


After, detox, she began suffering severe anxiety because of the events involving her manager. He has since sworn out a peace order against her and swore to the sexual relationship in his motion.

Very telling. She just went into detox two weeks ago, is being abused by you, and left detox after two weeks. She now got a job, where her manager had to get a RO against her.

From a legal perspective, what has happened to her? Does she have any recourse against him or the the tavern (the general manager was aware of much of what was happening)?

From a legal perspective, ask your attorney. From a moral stand point, you and your wife are messed up in the head and I hope you do not have children.