Signing over parental rights

[Just Blue]

i'm not arguing the fact that i made a mistake as everyone does. and i am by no means unstable. as a matter of fact, i'm trying to get myself and my son away from this person so we can have a better life and my son can be well taken care of

I think the NC courts will have a bigger issue with Mom who is in an adulterous relationship with a man to whom she has her son calling daddy, and plans on moving away from the child's REAL father so that Dad can't see his child. Her own actions are more detrimental to the child than the ex's addiction...After all OP is having her CHILD living with her lover!!

 

[hakers1130]

Well, sure she has!

She's going to get the court to erase the legal reality of Li'l Tommy's Daddy, get divorced, marry some other random guy who lives on the opposite coast and potentially will be away from the child for loooooong periods of time (but that's okay, she will get 'benefits') and make him the new Daddy. After all, this poor man is already "Daddy" to Li'l Tommy, so why can't she just make her fantasy a legal reality? I mean....if she doesn't get her way, how will Sailor Boy pay for Li'l Tommy's college and expenses? Oh NO!!! SHE might have to take on the financial responsibility of raising her child!!! Oh, the horror!

Unfortunately, her thought process isn't exactly in top working order. It might be best if she would just STOP thinking about what she 'thinks' will be and deal with what IS.

you know what, i have taken responsibility for raising my child. and its not my benefits i'm concerned about. its the fact that my son will have a father when he needs one. i fully plan on getting a divorce before we go into the custody thing. and for your information, i'm not living with my fiance hence me in nc and him in wa. and also my ex does have a criminal record because he was just in jail last week for cocaine possession and he's was in jail in june for grand theft auto. so yeah, i can prove that he is an unfit parent and incapable of raising a child. and my fiance will be out of the navy in a year and a half. you know how long he will be out to sea during that time? 6 months. the other time, he will be like every other husband. excepts his job will be on the ship and then he gets to come home like every other husband and spend time with his family. but as i've said numerous times none of that's the issue. i've got the answer i need. thank you for all of your wonderful advice. and by the way, how dare any of you tell me my next marraige isn't going to work because you know nothing of my current relationship. and obviously you guys are on here because you have legal issues yourself and i hope they all work out for you.

 

[mommyof4]

i'm trying to get myself and my son away from this person so we can have a better life and my son can be well taken care of

Bay, thanks for quoting. You found the phrase that has been really bugging me.

IF Dad has abandoned the child, then WHY is it necessary to get herself and Li'l Tommy away from him? Doesn't 'abandon' imply that there is NO contact and NO support?


NOW, OP, you know why you don't have a shot in hell of success. That's as clear as it can possibly be.

 

[hakers1130]

I think the NC courts will have a bigger issue with Mom who is in an adulterous relationship with a man to whom she has her son calling daddy, and plans on moving away from the child's REAL father so that Dad can't see his child. Her own actions are more detrimental to the child than the ex's addiction...After all OP is having her CHILD living with her lover!!

and Dad doesn't want to see his child or he would come and see him or at least call and find out if he's dead or alive.

 

[hakers1130]

Bay, thanks for quoting. You found the phrase that has been really bugging me.

IF Dad has abandoned the child, then WHY is it necessary to get herself and Li'l Tommy away from him? Doesn't 'abandon' imply that there is NO contact and NO support?


NOW, OP, you know why you don't have a shot in hell of success. That's as clear as it can possibly be.

i'm trying to get away from him calling me for the sole purpose of wanting me to give him money for his drug habit. not calling to see his child.

 

[mommyof4]

you know what, i have taken responsibility for raising my child. and its not my benefits i'm concerned about. its the fact that my son will have a father when he needs one. i fully plan on getting a divorce before we go into the custody thing. and for your information, i'm not living with my fiance hence me in nc and him in wa. and also my ex does have a criminal record because he was just in jail last week for cocaine possession and he's was in jail in june for grand theft auto. so yeah, i can prove that he is an unfit parent and incapable of raising a child. and my fiance will be out of the navy in a year and a half. you know how long he will be out to sea during that time? 6 months. the other time, he will be like every other husband. excepts his job will be on the ship and then he gets to come home like every other husband and spend time with his family. but as i've said numerous times none of that's the issue. i've got the answer i need. thank you for all of your wonderful advice. and by the way, how dare any of you tell me my next marraige isn't going to work because you know nothing of my current relationship. and obviously you guys are on here because you have legal issues yourself and i hope they all work out for you.

Ummm...did I mention that I served in the Navy? You really don't need to tell me the facts of Navy life.

I don't have legal issues anymore. That's what the whole 4 years of court in NC were about. My issues have been resolved. The difference is that I was able to accept the fact that I could NOT TPR and the court wasn't going to do it for me, so I did my damndest to make sure I took every other step possible to protect my child. Oh, and we're talking to the tune of $72,000. ($40,000 of my own and $32,000 from my parents. I'm STILL paying them back. Luckily, I should be able to have them completely paid back by the end of next month.)

You child is NOT in danger. Your child has NOT been abandoned. You are committing adultery. (yep, that's still on the books and relevant in NC). You have told your young, impressionable child that this other man is his Daddy. I don't (and no court will, either) believe that this child just out of the blue started calling a picture of some generic man Daddy. The fact that you let him continue to believe that this man is Daddy is a big problem for you in court. The only thing you care about is erasing the fact that you had a child with druggie boy. You want to be able to pretend that this new man, in a whole 'nother part of the country, is your husband and the father of your child. Guess what? It's NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

You can marry him and live with him as he wife for the next 78 years. That will NEVER make this man his father.

Now, if your ex consents and follows through, then you might have a shot at step parent adoption IN THE FUTURE.

 

[CourtClerk]

you know what, i have taken responsibility for raising my child.

You're supposed to. Congratulations. (but I thought you were done "defending" yourself)

and its not my benefits i'm concerned about.

You've sure made than an issue a time or 2 or 3 or 4

its the fact that my son will have a father when he needs one.

Your son has a father. Oh... what do you think those people who's fathers are dead do?

i fully plan on getting a divorce before we go into the custody thing.

Duh... you HAVE to.

and for your information, i'm not living with my fiance hence me in nc and him in wa

.
and for your information... cohabitation includes AFTER the divorce, but before the marriage.. genius

and also my ex does have a criminal record because he was just in jail last week for cocaine possession and he's was in jail in june for grand theft auto.

It also said INCLUDING VIOLENCE. Last I checked, stealing a car or having cocaine didn't require violence. They're both rather low level crimes.

so yeah, i can prove that he is an unfit parent and incapable of raising a child.

give me a few minutes and I can prove the same about you.

and my fiance will be out of the navy in a year and a half.

Good for him. What's that got to do with you?

you know how long he will be out to sea during that time? 6 months.

The better question is do YOU know how long he's going to be out to sea? Apparently you don't know that the military has this silly habit of keeping people out longer than they tell you.

the other time, he will be like every other husband.

You mean like your CURRENT husband??? Remember, you picked that one too.

excepts his job will be on the ship and then he gets to come home like every other husband and spend time with his family.

Did this lady just fall off the turnip truck or do the Cleavers live next door to her?

but as i've said numerous times none of that's the issue

.
Actually, I thought that WAS the issue.

i've got the answer i need.

You got the answer, but did you READ, UNDERSTAND and APPLY the information... correctly? The answer? Nope.

thank you for all of your wonderful advice.

You're quite welcome.

and by the way, how dare any of you tell me my next marraige isn't going to work because you know nothing of my current relationship.

No, but I do know the statistics of subsequent marriages, especially those when they are done in haste and when one party is daddy shopping.

and obviously you guys are on here because you have legal issues yourself and i hope they all work out for you.

Actually, most of us are here because we have the answers to your idiotic questions. I for one work in the courtroom so I have a bunch of knowledge you'd like to have. I'm also here now because I'm on vacation for the rest of the week and you've provided a good laugh.

Come back after that divorce, but CJane made a great point. Why is loverboy so big on sending gifts, but can't send you a few hundred bucks for that divorce you're waiting on???

Maybe you consider yourself his fiance, but he doesn't consider himself yours....

 

[CourtClerk]

i'm trying to get away from him calling me for the sole purpose of wanting me to give him money for his drug habit.

Any reason why you just can't say no?

 

[mommyof4]

Any reason why you just can't say no?

Apparently, she has a history of having difficulty forming that word with him.

 

[my life is mine]

you know what, i have taken responsibility for raising my child. and its not my benefits i'm concerned about. its the fact that my son will have a father when he needs one. i fully plan on getting a divorce before we go into the custody thing. and for your information, i'm not living with my fiance hence me in nc and him in wa. and also my ex does have a criminal record because he was just in jail last week for cocaine possession and he's was in jail in june for grand theft auto. so yeah, i can prove that he is an unfit parent and incapable of raising a child. and my fiance will be out of the navy in a year and a half. you know how long he will be out to sea during that time? 6 months. the other time, he will be like every other husband. excepts his job will be on the ship and then he gets to come home like every other husband and spend time with his family. but as i've said numerous times none of that's the issue. i've got the answer i need. thank you for all of your wonderful advice. and by the way, how dare any of you tell me my next marraige isn't going to work because you know nothing of my current relationship. and obviously you guys are on here because you have legal issues yourself and i hope they all work out for you.

Oh really, he will only be gone 6 months, doubt that 100%, he will have work ups, for 6 months previous to his 6 month deployment (and alot of those are extended now to 7-8 months) then he will have things after the ship comes home that ship is obligated to due, so in that 1 1/2 he may be home a total of 3 months. Please don't tell me that is not the truth, been doingthis probably almost as long as you have been alive.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

I live in North Carolina. My husband and I have been separated for three years now and we have a two year old son. Since my son's birth I might have received three hundred dollars from him in child support. He is only ordered to pay fifty dollars a month (which is behind on) because he has no job and he is a drug addict and a criminal. Added to that, he rarely calls or visits my son. I received no call at Christmas or Thanksgiving.

I plan to get a divorce by March of next year. The reason being is that I plan to move to Washington state where my fiance is in the navy there. What I want is for my ex to sign over his parental rights so when I am married my husband can adopt my son and he can have his last name. This is in the best interest for my son because he will receive military benefits such as college and insurance

. However, my ex refuses to sign over his rights. I was wondering if anyone has had a similar problem and whether there is any legal action I can take. Thank you for your responses and advice.

I have not read the whole thread, but just want to say:

Your child is not going to get college benefits just because he is military, and if your someday "X" refuses, you are stuck with the actual father of your child. You may not even be able to move out of state.

 

[CJane]

I'm also a little curious about something else...

You state that 'as the son of an officer' your son will receive benefits like insurance and college.

And then you state that your fiance will be out of the Navy in 18 months.

So then your son won't be the son of an officer anymore anyway... right?

And there's NO WAY you'll be divorced, custody hammered out, permission to move to WA, get moved, get married, prove your NOWHusband unfit, AND get rights terminated while NEWDaddy is still in the military.

Are you retarded?

 

[CourtClerk]

Are you retarded?

Yes she is. But thanks for asking...

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Not only that, as the son of a military officer my son will get many benefits including health insurance and college.

I missed that part. I certainly hope that Mr. Fiancee stays in Washington and the poster stays in NC. If their relationship can be proven to be adulterous, that is grounds for a court-martial. FYI, you have to STAY in to give those lovely benefits to children.

 

[Just Blue]

I missed that part. I certainly hope that Mr. Fiancee stays in Washington and the poster stays in NC. If there relationship can be proven to be adulterous, that is grounds for a court-martial. FYI, you have to STAY in to give those lovely benefits to children.

Okay..Shay, CJ and Ginny...Stop interfering with OP's delusion...You're ruining her buzz...