Spousal alimony

[Lookforward]

I am thinking about going to trial.
I feel like the GAL has been extremely unfair. He hasn't given any reason as to why he's coming with this split.
He did tell the Judge in Pretrial that he can't make heads and tails of who the primary care provider is.
He told me that the reason of this split is because the kids are too young they are 5 and 7 and i dont think they are that young.

GAL did tell me that I am better than 90% of the parent who walks into his office.

I am just trying to figure out if i have a case? I understand that the GALs are like GOD and the judge listen to them but I am not sure the reason for the unfair split.

Do i have anything or am i just barking at the wrong tree?
Thanks

 

[Zigner]

You asked the same question on May 7th...
https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/spousal-alimony.660875/post-3734816

 

[not2cleverRed]

I am thinking about going to trial.
I feel like the GAL has been extremely unfair. He hasn't given any reason as to why he's coming with this split.
He did tell the Judge in Pretrial that he can't make heads and tails of who the primary care provider is.
He told me that the reason of this split is because the kids are too young they are 5 and 7 and i dont think they are that young.

GAL did tell me that I am better than 90% of the parent who walks into his office.

I am just trying to figure out if i have a case? I understand that the GALs are like GOD and the judge listen to them but I am not sure the reason for the unfair split.

Do i have anything or am i just barking at the wrong tree?
Thanks

Stop it. Just S-T-O-P it.

You've been advised to be the more reasonable one, accept the GAL rec's, and go forward.

Let the STBX be the one that forces things to go to trial because she's getting less than 90% parenting time.

 

[AlmostThere]

WHY do you think that a split that is very close to 50/50 is unfair?
I can think of a few reasons you are hung up on this:
1) Ego - you feel a need to win
2) Money - you are concerned that if you have less than 50% you will pay more in CS and lose the ability to take the children on your taxes
3) Anger with the ex - you feel a need to stick it to her.
4) Someone else egging you on. (GF, your family, etc)

I can tell you this - as long as you are both reasonable parents, your children will not be counting the days in the split.

And after everything is settled peacefully if you are willing to be a cooperative co-parent, there will likely be some back and forth, and if you are flexible, that can translate into extra time with your children.

example: Hi, my friend is coming into town this weekend and would like to see the kids. Can we swap weekends?
example: Child 1 has this team sport at the same time as child 2 has drama. Can you please help? (These are great - extra time with the kids!)
example: I need to go on a business trip. Can you please keep the kids days x, y, z? (More extra time with the kids)

 

[stealth2]

Based on your post elsewhere, you're rapidly getting your time whittled down (latest is 38/62?), and you admit to "losing it" with the GAL. The fact that the GAL and your lawyer are friends should be helping you. I'm starting to think that you're your own worst enemy.

 

[Lookforward]

Based on your post elsewhere, you're rapidly getting your time whittled down (latest is 38/62?), and you admit to "losing it" with the GAL. The fact that the GAL and your lawyer are friends should be helping you. I'm starting to think that you're your own worst enemy.

Based on your post elsewhere, you're rapidly getting your time whittled down (latest is 38/62?), and you admit to "losing it" with the GAL. The fact that the GAL and your lawyer are friends should be helping you. I'm starting to think that you're your own worst enemy.

The lawyer was the one who told me 60/40
The lawyer was the one who told me that GAL will add another day

I decided not to trust the lawyer and mark my own days on calander and i came up with 136 days, based on a 20 minute conversation between the GAL and me.

How do you decide in 20 minutes that the split would be 38/62?

 

[Lookforward]

WHY do you think that a split that is very close to 50/50 is unfair?
I can think of a few reasons you are hung up on this:
1) Ego - you feel a need to win
2) Money - you are concerned that if you have less than 50% you will pay more in CS and lose the ability to take the children on your taxes
3) Anger with the ex - you feel a need to stick it to her.
4) Someone else egging you on. (GF, your family, etc)

I can tell you this - as long as you are both reasonable parents, your children will not be counting the days in the split.

And after everything is settled peacefully if you are willing to be a cooperative co-parent, there will likely be some back and forth, and if you are flexible, that can translate into extra time with your children.

example: Hi, my friend is coming into town this weekend and would like to see the kids. Can we swap weekends?
example: Child 1 has this team sport at the same time as child 2 has drama. Can you please help? (These are great - extra time with the kids!)
example: I need to go on a business trip. Can you please keep the kids days x, y, z? (More extra time with the kids)

You obvisouly dont know my STBX, just yesterday she told my daughter that the reason why i am upset at dad is that he's lazy when i told her not to say that she said the kids should know.

Stop it. Just S-T-O-P it.

You've been advised to be the more reasonable one, accept the GAL rec's, and go forward.

Let the STBX be the one that forces things to go to trial because she's getting less than 90% parenting time.

Red my concern is that she might accept.

On the flip side i dont really think its healthy for me to be in the same house as my STBX its a really turbulent relationship. I just am avoiding all text messages maybe you are right. I dont know but thanks for the response

 

[AlmostThere]

You obvisouly dont know my STBX, just yesterday she told my daughter that the reason why i am upset at dad is that he's lazy when i told her not to say that she said the kids should know.

So. What. Do you really think that if you keep fighting for a few extra days, and ramp up the anger, that your ex is going to behave any better? It does not matter if you have 30%, 50% or 70% custody. If your ex is going to bad mouth you, your ex is going to bad mouth you. Be a good, reliable consistent parent. Never bad mouth your ex, even if your ex bad mouths you. It is your job to be a fair and reasonable parent, even if your ex is being neither. And as your children grow up, they will form their own opinions.

Every argument you have with your ex, every extra go-around between lawyers, consumes money, energy, and love that cannot benefit your children.

You have the option to ask your lawyer add something about not bad-mouthing each other to the divorce decree. Not that you can force your ex to agree to such a thing.

On the flip side i dont really think its healthy for me to be in the same house as my STBX its a really turbulent relationship. I just am avoiding all text messages maybe you are right. I dont know but thanks for the response

You are right. It is bad for you to be in the same house as your STBX. But when it comes down to it, I really don't care about that. I do care that it is bad for your children to be exposed to turbulence. Especially if you can't see past your anger and annoyance at your soon-to-be-ex to make sensible choices.

Suggestion: If possible, work WITH your ex and start splitting up days so each of you has time to parent in peace. The weather is nice. Take your children to the park, on bike rides and nature walks, away from Mom. Until you move out, be deliberate about it, and find time and space to parent without all the tension of being in close proximity to your S2BX.

 

[Lookforward]

@Ohiogal a quick question,
We have a final meeting with GAL. It seems like he never contacted the marriage counselor , daycare provider and school teacher who were my witnesses,
The only people he contacted were some common friends and that's it.

I am wondering if it's something GAL can ignore and get away with it if i decide to take my case to trial?


Thanks

 

[LdiJ]

@Ohiogal a quick question,
We have a final meeting with GAL. It seems like he never contacted the marriage counselor , daycare provider and school teacher who were my witnesses,
The only people he contacted were some common friends and that's it.

I am wondering if it's something GAL can ignore and get away with it if i decide to take my case to trial?


Thanks

I am not OG but I don't think that the marriage counselor could speak to the GAL without written authorization from both of you. Doctor/Patient confidentiality would kick in. The GAL would most likely expect the daycare provider and the school teacher to give you a good reference and therefore might not have bothered.

 

[Lookforward]

Yes GAL mentioned in all cases that he will contact them, there is some sort of release form or NDA?
I provided him with names and numbers he never contacted them.

My question is that if this goes to trial would this matter or the GAL has the authority to ignore some witnesses and the courts will deem that as something perfectly reasonable

 

[LdiJ]

Yes GAL mentioned in all cases that he will contact them, there is some sort of release form or NDA?
I provided him with names and numbers he never contacted them.

My question is that if this goes to trial would this matter or the GAL has the authority to ignore some witnesses and the courts will deem that as something perfectly reasonable

The GAL is not required to contact everyone that you put on your list.

 

[Lookforward]

The GAL is not required to contact everyone that you put on your list.

What a frustrating process, the GAL comes up with a decision in 20 minutes without contacting 3rd party evidence, and when you try to talk to him he throws tantrum.
Really what a stupid process created to make parents feel like hell
Thanks ldij for your help

 

[Just Blue]

What a frustrating process, the GAL comes up with a decision in 20 minutes without contacting 3rd party evidence, and when you try to talk to him he throws tantrum.
Really what a stupid process created to make parents feel like .
Thanks ldij for your help

You should edit your post to remove the vulgarity. If Admin see's it you will get a timeout. Read the TOS.

 

[Zigner]

I went and re-read about half of this thread. I don't see anywhere that you have dropped your attorney. Assuming you are still represented, then you should be talking to your attorney. This thread really has gone on much further than it needs to, considering NONE of us know the details of your case like your attorney knows them.