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Stay Away Order

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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
If the TRO is against the boyfriend having contact with the OP's daughter, then she (the daughter) needs to contact the court.
If the TRO is against the 'daughters mother', then the OP has no standing in this matter.
Sorry Jetx. We just have more information because we read the OPs other thread. The daughter is a minor and cannot contact the court. In this case Dad needs to take legal means to protect his child. But if the child was not minor, then you are correct. And if the TRO is against the daughter's mother then you are correct.
 


casa

Senior Member
Sorry Jetx. We just have more information because we read the OPs other thread. The daughter is a minor and cannot contact the court. In this case Dad needs to take legal means to protect his child. But if the child was not minor, then you are correct. And if the TRO is against the daughter's mother then you are correct.
ROs in CA include any minor children that live with you. Since it was the abuse of the daughter that initiated the action...the only reason it's the Mom's RO is the Mom is the adult. I'm CERTAIN it includes the child.
 

bray6

Member
Thanks for the input and sorry for the confusion. The order is to keep mom's boyfriend away from my daughter. Initially the police dept (via judge) issued an emergency protective order that stated the boyfriend could not be within 100 yards of my daughter, her home or her school and last Friday the judge issued a temporary stay away order pending mediation. On Saturday, mom took my daughter to the boyfriends house and my daughter stayed in the car. My daughter told her mom that she was scared to go over there and mom took her anyway. My daughter was within 30 feet of the boyfriend as he was at the front door. My daughter said she turned around in her seat so she would not have to look at him. She said she was scared the entire time. This happened twice in one day. Also, right after mom and I made our mediation appointments, mom went home and took my daughter's cell phone away from her which she has had for almost a year. She does not want my daughter to contact me and tell me what's going on.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Thanks for the input and sorry for the confusion. The order is to keep mom's boyfriend away from my daughter. Initially the police dept (via judge) issued an emergency protective order that stated the boyfriend could not be within 100 yards of my daughter, her home or her school and last Friday the judge issued a temporary stay away order pending mediation. On Saturday, mom took my daughter to the boyfriends house and my daughter stayed in the car. My daughter told her mom that she was scared to go over there and mom took her anyway. My daughter was within 30 feet of the boyfriend as he was at the front door. My daughter said she turned around in her seat so she would not have to look at him. She said she was scared the entire time. This happened twice in one day. Also, right after mom and I made our mediation appointments, mom went home and took my daughter's cell phone away from her which she has had for almost a year. She does not want my daughter to contact me and tell me what's going on.
Since your daughter has a cell, why did you not already instruct her that if she's in a situation where she's frightened (like she was in the car), she should call 911 immediately? That is, IMO, negligent of YOU.
 

jbowman

Senior Member
Since your daughter has a cell, why did you not already instruct her that if she's in a situation where she's frightened (like she was in the car), she should call 911 immediately? That is, IMO, negligent of YOU.
IMO, that is a horrible position to put a 7 year old in. She would be horrified of getting mommy in trouble---scared the boyfriend would retaliate. This is just a horrible situation for her. If she is so scared that she looks into the back seat so she doesnt have to look at him, why would she be brave enough to call 911?
 

casa

Senior Member
Thanks for the input and sorry for the confusion. The order is to keep mom's boyfriend away from my daughter. Initially the police dept (via judge) issued an emergency protective order that stated the boyfriend could not be within 100 yards of my daughter, her home or her school and last Friday the judge issued a temporary stay away order pending mediation. On Saturday, mom took my daughter to the boyfriends house and my daughter stayed in the car. My daughter told her mom that she was scared to go over there and mom took her anyway. My daughter was within 30 feet of the boyfriend as he was at the front door. My daughter said she turned around in her seat so she would not have to look at him. She said she was scared the entire time. This happened twice in one day. Also, right after mom and I made our mediation appointments, mom went home and took my daughter's cell phone away from her which she has had for almost a year. She does not want my daughter to contact me and tell me what's going on.
And did you notify the DA's office of the violation of the RO? Did you contact any authority?
Every single time you 'let it go'...is just as bad as Mom ignoring/avoiding it. I wouldn't send her back for visitation~ yes, that's Right. In *this* scenario I would risk Contempt for denying visitation. You now know Mom will not protect daughter or avoid situations where daughter is at risk.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
IMO, that is a horrible position to put a 7 year old in. She would be horrified of getting mommy in trouble---scared the boyfriend would retaliate. This is just a horrible situation for her. If she is so scared that she looks into the back seat so she doesnt have to look at him, why would she be brave enough to call 911?
I agree that it is. And were it my child, I would be finding a way to have her in counseling ASAP. Unfortunately, in some situations, the kid has to find the strength to keep themselves safe at all costs. This is one of them. At the very least, she should have called Dad - who could've gone to get her immediately. 'Cause right now? All he has to go on is the word of a 7yo. And that may not be enough.
 

bray6

Member
Yes I did instruct her to contact me or 911 immediately however, mom took her phone away from her on Friday and this occured on Saturday so she had no way of calling me unless she used her mom's cell. Right now she is very frightened that her mom might get into trouble and I need to get ahold of my attorney to see exactly what the order states. Right now she is with me until Wednesday and my attorney is in the office on Tuesday, so I need to find a way to keep her here.
 

casa

Senior Member
Yes I did instruct her to contact me or 911 immediately however, mom took her phone away from her on Friday and this occured on Saturday so she had no way of calling me unless she used her mom's cell. Right now she is very frightened that her mom might get into trouble and I need to get ahold of my attorney to see exactly what the order states. Right now she is with me until Wednesday and my attorney is in the office on Tuesday, so I need to find a way to keep her here.
On Tues. talk to your attorney about filing an Emergency suspension of visitation because Mom has violated the RO. Your daughter is at risk. He will tell you how to proceed from there.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Yes I did instruct her to contact me or 911 immediately however, mom took her phone away from her on Friday and this occured on Saturday so she had no way of calling me unless she used her mom's cell. Right now she is very frightened that her mom might get into trouble and I need to get ahold of my attorney to see exactly what the order states. Right now she is with me until Wednesday and my attorney is in the office on Tuesday, so I need to find a way to keep her here.
My apologies, then - I understood that she took the cell AFTER being at the b/f's. Mea culpa.
 

majomom1

Senior Member
Yes I did instruct her to contact me or 911 immediately however, mom took her phone away from her on Friday and this occured on Saturday so she had no way of calling me unless she used her mom's cell. Right now she is very frightened that her mom might get into trouble and I need to get ahold of my attorney to see exactly what the order states. Right now she is with me until Wednesday and my attorney is in the office on Tuesday, so I need to find a way to keep her here.
Withholding visitation "for good cause" is generally allowed and would not be considered contempt. If Mom is not following the order to keep daughter away, then you have good cause to deny visitation.

I also think that you could notify the police that you were withholding visitation, due to safety issues and this order as well. This would help in the event Mom called them on you.
 

casa

Senior Member
Withholding visitation "for good cause" is generally allowed and would not be considered contempt. If Mom is not following the order to keep daughter away, then you have good cause to deny visitation.

I also think that you could notify the police that you were withholding visitation, due to safety issues and this order as well. This would help in the event Mom called them on you.
Yes, highly unlikely he'd be cited for Contempt in these circumstances.
 
If I remember correctly, mom has custody, dad has visitation. So he wouldn't be withholding visitation he would be depriving mom of custody. In that circumstance, is it more serious to withhold the child or would it be looked at the same way?
 

casa

Senior Member
If I remember correctly, mom has custody, dad has visitation. So he wouldn't be withholding visitation he would be depriving mom of custody. In that circumstance, is it more serious to withhold the child or would it be looked at the same way?
The answer is the same regardless, actually. In THIS type of situation (abuse/neglect/risk). There is an RO, Mom broke it - in breaking it that created risk for the child. If a child is in danger, that is an exception to the rule of Contempt.

OPs attorney will be able to advise before the child is scheduled to return to Mom on Wed. (Right now they have a Temp. Custody Order)
 

StampGirl

Senior Member
If I remember correctly, mom has custody, dad has visitation. So he wouldn't be withholding visitation he would be depriving mom of custody. In that circumstance, is it more serious to withhold the child or would it be looked at the same way?
Can he file an ex parte hearing to have the child's time with Mom suspended since she violated the RO?

Personally, I would be at the attorney's door first thing Tues morning demanding an emergency order of some type. Don't wait on this. Its your daughter's safety.

I would risk any type of contempt at this point. I am sorry your daughter has to go through this.
 
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