Sue mother-in-law

[frylover]

I'm just curious about this.

I know I've read here many times that, basically, even if you have a lawyer, YOU are responsible for knowing your state's laws, statutes, etc.

Couldn't the same idea apply here? I mean, any halfway intelligent person knows that ANY pregnancy carries a risk. So, couldn't it be argued that you, as an individual have the responsibility to ask for, or even insist upon, prenatal testing to be sure your child is "normal" if you don't want to continue with the pregnancy if the baby s not?

 

[lookinrose]

When I was pregnant we talked to my mother-in-law (MIL) about our first visit to OB-GYN. She told us that the only problem that seems to be running in their family was cleft lip and cleft pallet. This past summer when my daughter was three years old, my MIL told me that their family has 3 people with cleft lip/pallet, 2 albino (brother and sister), 2 girls (albino and my husband's sister)have "painful bladder syndrome" IC, MIL has bipolar disorder with manic depression and slow colon, albino boy has a severe case of ADD, my husband's sister also has unknown condition when her body attacks her joints (doctors are hesitant diagnosing it as artrides or anything else ), several people have a heart mummers including my husband. General picture is that 2 out of 3 people in that family have multiple genetic problems.
Genetic disorder that my daughter has is very easy to diagnose by amniocenteses.
When I asked my MIL why she didn't tell me anything while I was pregnant, she told me that she is against abortions.
I feel that important information was intentionally withheld from me and my doctor. That prevented me from having an appropriate prenatal care and genetic counseling while I was pregnant. As a result of my MIL actions I had a child with disabilities.

In 3.5 years we will loose government sponsored ABA therapy at home which cost $3000 a moth to run. I am wondering if I can sue MIL for that money to provide my daughter with therapies that she needs to progress. Now we have a lot of other expenses that would not happened with a healthy developing child.
Thank you. I will be grateful for any advice on this matter.

 

[Just Blue]

When I was pregnant we talked to my mother-in-law (MIL) about our first visit to OB-GYN. She told us that the only problem that seems to be running in their family was cleft lip and cleft pallet. This past summer when my daughter was three years old, my MIL told me that their family has 3 people with cleft lip/pallet, 2 albino (brother and sister), 2 girls (albino and my husband's sister)have "painful bladder syndrome" IC, MIL has bipolar disorder with manic depression and slow colon, albino boy has a severe case of ADD, my husband's sister also has unknown condition when her body attacks her joints (doctors are hesitant diagnosing it as artrides or anything else ), several people have a heart mummers including my husband. General picture is that 2 out of 3 people in that family have multiple genetic problems.
Genetic disorder that my daughter has is very easy to diagnose by amniocenteses.
When I asked my MIL why she didn't tell me anything while I was pregnant, she told me that she is against abortions.
I feel that important information was intentionally withheld from me and my doctor. That prevented me from having an appropriate prenatal care and genetic counseling while I was pregnant. As a result of my MIL actions I had a child with disabilities.

In 3.5 years we will loose government sponsored ABA therapy at home which cost $3000 a moth to run. I am wondering if I can sue MIL for that money to provide my daughter with therapies that she needs to progress. Now we have a lot of other expenses that would not happened with a healthy developing child.
Thank you. I will be grateful for any advice on this matter.

Anyone can sue anybody for anything....Do you have 30K for the attorney for this suit? Does you MIL have the ability to pay IF (and it won't happen) she lost? Do you want to really subject yourself and your family to the media storm that will pour down on you all??

If having a disabled child is so horrific to you, then it was YOUR responsibility to take EVERY EFFORT to prevent this yourself. NO ONE ELSE!

 

[lookinrose]

I'm just curious about this.


Couldn't the same idea apply here? I mean, any halfway intelligent person knows that ANY pregnancy carries a risk. So, couldn't it be argued that you, as an individual have the responsibility to ask for, or even insist upon, prenatal testing to be sure your child is "normal" if you don't want to continue with the pregnancy if the baby s not?

I was 25 years old when I was pregnant. Doctor considered my age against a possibility of having genetic disorders in compare to older women. I know that after 35 all women are recommended amniocentesis. Other words if I or my doctor new about elevated risk of having genetic problems that comes from my husbands side I would first insist on the genetic tests. It is a possibility that my doctor missed or misinterpreted some of the tests results, but again the most valuable information was withheld from us by my MIL.

 

[Silverplum]

How many more pages will it take to finish this???

Questions asked. Answers given. Points made. Done.

 

[maryjo]

As a result of my MIL actions I had a child with disabilities.

You have GOT to be kidding me. Did your MIL knowingly and forcefully impregnant you with a child she knew to be disabled?

Seriously..think about this.

Your MIL had nothing to do with YOU getting pregnant with a disabled child. Just like my grandmother had nothing to do with my mother getting pregnant with a disfigured child..or getting pregnant with the many babies she lost.

The guys I work with, all profusely disabled, have NO genetic problems running in their families. Yet there they are.

When did ADD/ADHD become a genetic problem? Actually, most of the things you listed, many many people in the world have. Most dont consider them genetic issues or even a big deal. They just do what they have to do and get on with life.

Cleft pallet and lip isnt even a big deal anymore thanks to all the advancements in cranio-facial surgery.

What, exactly, has your daughter been diagnosed with?

Your MIL is no more to blame for this than YOUR mother or anyone else. The only one to blame here would be you. YOU made the choice to get pregnant with a man who you obviously knew very little about.

Since the only thing that seems to be of concern to you is the cost of raising this child, I strongly suggest you give her up for adoption. Then you wont have to worry about it.

We ALL take the chance when having children that they might be born with some disability or problem. Actually, with all the things that could go wrong, its a miracle any of us make it to our first birthday.

 

[Nevergrowup]

As a result of my MIL actions I had a child with disabilities.

WOW. For real? Your MIL caused you to have a child with disabilities? I think you need counseling. You are trying to blame someone, anyone, for your child's unfortunate situation, you would do better to think of positive ways to help her in her future, not ways to punish people that have absolutely nothing to do with your child's creation. Your MIL did not make your child, YOU and your HUSBAND did, and your MIL did not cause her to be born with disabilities.

 

[Ohiogal]

I was 25 years old when I was pregnant. Doctor considered my age against a possibility of having genetic disorders in compare to older women. I know that after 35 all women are recommended amniocentesis. Other words if I or my doctor new about elevated risk of having genetic problems that comes from my husbands side I would first insist on the genetic tests. It is a possibility that my doctor missed or misinterpreted some of the tests results, but again the most valuable information was withheld from us by my MIL.

Assumption of risk. YOU assumed the risk of having a disabled child when you got pregnant and gave birth.
Did you take aspirin during your pregnancy? Tylenol? Have a sip of alcohol during pregnancy? Did you eat transfats? Did you eat tuna from a can? What about shark meat? Did you eat ocean fresh fish? Did you have ANY lunch meat? Did you eat bagged salad? Did you do ANY exercise? Did you take a bath? Did you take hot showers while pregnant? Did you sleep under heavy blankets? Did you eat sushi? Did you eat nuts? Did you ever run a fever while pregnant? Did you drink coffee? Pop? Herbal tea? Did you have vigorous sex? Did you masturbate? Did you ever fall down? Did anyone on your side of the family ever have a heart attack? Stroke? ANemia? Rh factor? Do you have ANY African American blood (now make sure you are following the ONE DROP rule on this)? Do you have any Jewish ancestry -- any at all?

Shall I continue? All of the above cause risks to a baby (African American due to possibility of sickle cell and Jewish ancestry has another blood disorder linked to it -- sorry the name escapes me but I am not being rude or racist). They may be extremely slight but they cause risks. YOU could have asked for an amniocentesis. The information was NOT withheld. Your husband should have KNOWN some of these. He saw his relatives and could have talked to them. But none of that matters.

What does matter is that you are too immature to deal with the hand you have been dealt and to love your child unconditionally. So get yourself into counseling and grow up.

 

[Zigner]

It is not her fault.

Forgive me if this has been said already, but I didn't feel like plowing through any more of this.

Your problem is that you are trying to find out who is to blame instead of moving on in life with your family.
Get therapy, serious therapy.