Statistically speaking most of the women who seek out and receive abortions in this country are in their thirties with at least one child that they are already raising. Abortion is not primarily used by teenagers who 'made a mistake' too early. It is often a financial consideration about how to care for the children they already have.
Do you have facts to back up those statistics? I am not saying you are wrong. But its the first time I have ever heard that. Why are pro-choice groups constantly on college campuses then?
I think its great that you choose to work with the disabled. How wonderful for you that you are able to be paid for your services to "your guys". You may be able to care emotionally for free but how long would be able to provide your physical care for them if you were not paid. Could you feed your family and provide care if money for the support of those disabled men weren't coming from somewhere?
The thing that always bothers me about my job is the LACK of care from the families. In my family we were always taught that you take care of your own. You do it no matter what. You dont dump them off with other people to take care of them. And its been shown to me time and time again in my lifetime. So yes, I most certainly would find a way to care for my own disabled child if I had one!! And just so you know,I dont get paid much. When you work for a not for profit orgainization it isnt for the big bucks. If I was there to make a lot of money I would have left a long time ago. And one more thing, back to taking care of your own...I have been helping to raise my nephew for the last 2 years...without pay of course.
This poster is clearly overwhelmed by the prospect of supporting her daughter, who she states she loves, for a lifetimes worth of medical and theraputic expenses. Expenses that will never stop. She sounds angry and she also sounds overwhelmed. I don't find her anymore disgusting than any other human being who is being imperfect and human.
I agree. She is human just like the rest of us. And if it hadnt been FOUR YEARS NOW and if she wasnt so rude and negative, I might feel sorry for her. I did feel sorry for her at first. But she is beyond the time when she should have been over this. This isnt something new she just found out. The baby wasnt just born. In fact, she had a STRONG idea this might happen while she was pregnant. How do you NOT know that raising a disabled child is expensive. I can tell you real quick how much it costs. I have seen the monthly bills for our guys at work! But instead of being active in her own life and her child's she is choosing to be angry and bitter and take it out on the world around her. Who exactly is that helping? Hmm?
She says she has asked her mother in law for help and the woman is busy shopping or says "She already raised her kids." Is that not also callous? She can't be bothered with helping out with her precious special needs grandchild?
So now its the grandmother's fault. 
What planet do you live on? My grandmother couldnt deal with the way I had been born. She never ONCE came to the hospital any of the 13 times I was in there. She didnt come visit much afterwards either. But she loved me. In fact, I was secretly her favorite. But she simply could not deal with what was wrong with me. And it wasnt HER place to take care of me. She didnt bring me into this world. She didnt demand that my parents conceive me. My parents never expected any help from her. She did occassionally help out financially but how in the world can you fault this grandmother for not wanting to take care of a child that is her's and one that she is probably not able to care for. Meaning this child might have medical needs the grandmother isnt comfortable dealing with. A lot of people are uncomfortable with things like that. One SMALL example: I dont have a problem wiping the butt of a 67 year old man who cant do it for himself...but not everyone can stomach something like that. This grandmother, probably like my own, probably also feels quilty about what happend and she obviously doesnt know how to cope any better than the child's mother. Where is the mother's mother anyway? Why does this all come down to the child's father's mother?
This poster is doing nothing new in wanting to get what help she feels she needs one way or another. People look for a legal solution to family problems when it seems like a viable option. This poster is probably much better served with counseling than a legal battle against someone who probably doesn't have the financial resources to pay up in any case. Counseling not court.
Yep. I agree
You say "While I agree that we should all have the RIGHT to choose..." I don't care that you would never abort, neither would I, who cares? That is not what I was displaying disgust over. I was disgusted that the focus was not on the depression this poster states she has had
for 2 years but was about sterilization instead. I didn't realize they meant it as a serious suggestion. I thought they were just being rude, my mistake.
Maybe you should hang out awhile longer before trying to judge any of the regulars here. This woman obviously needs help. Mental, emotional, physical and financial help. But she also said that a doctor told her she has NO mental problems. This woman is in denial. Frankly, I dont care if you care about my personal convictions. I posted that for the benefit of anyone who MIGHT care and might misconstrue what I was about to say. My confusion was why you would feel disgusted that people here would suggest she get fixed so as not to bring any more children into this world that she can not take care of...yet you DIDNT find disgust at her comment that she would have had no trouble aborting this child she has had now for FOUR YEARS! For someone to still think that, even if they thought it while pregnant, after four years is seriously disturbing. By now she should have bonded somewhat with the child. You should really feel more concern for this child who is being raised by a woman who obivously doesnt care too much for this child than what anyone here has to say about it. And if you dont like what anyone has to say, you are free to not come here and read it.
Depression in a parent affects the quality of life for even a healthy child. Where is your deep compassion for that, Maryjo?
Maybe you should read some of my posts. I have GREAT compassion and sympathy for depression in mothers considering I experienced it myself. Not just PPD but also PTSD! For a year I was a complete wreck. But I realized that my son was more important and I had to get the heck over it.
It was also great of you to rub her nose in the fact that
your child is perfect and you are wonderful and compassionate.
I should have counted on you to MISUNDERSTAND that point. The POINT was that my son was born premature. He weighed 3 and a half pounds. He spent a month in the NICU. Right before the birth and during the birth either one of us could have died. Its a MIRACLE he survived and had no lasting effects from it. But the first few years of his life went easy and they werent like a "normal" child's first few years are.
Everybody has their problems. This poster is no different and neither are you. I bet if you look real hard you can find where you fall short of your own golden standards, Maryjo. What does that say about you?
Are you kidding me? Did you read ANY of my posts? If you did you would have read that I was born with a facial disfigurment that requried 13 plastic surgeries and skin grafts. I will live the rest of my life with a huge, very noticable scar on my face. The last operation almost killed me and I was 10 years old. My developed severe pre-eclampsia when I was pregnant and my son was born at barely 33 weeks, weighing 3 and a half pounds and spent a month in the NICU. We both could have died during that time. I have no GOLDEN STANDARDS. I accept everyone...AS IS. But I will not let someone wallow in self pity while expecting the rest of the world to take care of their responsibilities. It sucks..yes. But its time for the OP to put her big girl panties on and DEAL.
You pan my feeling compassion for her then in your next post you tell her how you respect her anguish. Double standard. You think she'll only read every other post? Gee, your human too. Wow.
