I know it's been said before, but it bears repeating. OP - your daughter's behavior is completely normal, both in terms of her age AND the overall situation.
Give some serious thought to:
(a) a parenting class
(b) therapy for yourself to help learn how not to fall into the same bad habits, as well as how to help your daughter grow to trust you and see you as her Daddy in every way.
ETA: And start answering Mom's emails, for heaven's sake! I go through the same thing and it is aggravating as all get-out. If you refuse to communicate with her, don't be surprised when she ends up being the sole decision-maker. And don't go complaining how she shuts you out.