What to do when medical expenses are too high?

[dwmiller69]

What is your daughter allergic to? And if it's not paid yet, you don't owe half yet. It's possible that the treatments (for which you'll be paying 1/2) won't begin til after the first of the year anyway.

To be honest, my ex-wife has not shared much details of the test results. I know the doctor tests for dozens of potential allergies. I do know she is allergic to pet dander (she does not have any pets), dust mites, pollen. I also have these allergies but I just use a prescribed nasal spray. But there may be many other things she is allergic to that I'm not aware of.

And to answer a question from earlier, the mother does not have insurance through her work. She buys her insurance separately as an individual policy and pays a high rate as a result.

I do care about the health of my daughter and want what's best for her. I was just more curious with what the courts can really do if there is an expense that I would be obligated by court to pay 50% but there is no "extra" income available to raise my garnishment amount any. My understanding is that contempt means that I am ordered to pay but I refuse. If the court agrees that there is no ability to pay, I don't see how contempt comes into play. Does this simply mean the mother is ordered to pay 100% of the treatment?

 

[gam]

To be honest, my ex-wife has not shared much details of the test results. I know the doctor tests for dozens of potential allergies. I do know she is allergic to pet dander (she does not have any pets), dust mites, pollen. I also have these allergies but I just use a prescribed nasal spray. But there may be many other things she is allergic to that I'm not aware of.

And to answer a question from earlier, the mother does not have insurance through her work. She buys her insurance separately as an individual policy and pays a high rate as a result.

I do care about the health of my daughter and want what's best for her. I was just more curious with what the courts can really do if there is an expense that I would be obligated by court to pay 50% but there is no "extra" income available to raise my garnishment amount any. My understanding is that contempt means that I am ordered to pay but I refuse. If the court agrees that there is no ability to pay, I don't see how contempt comes into play. Does this simply mean the mother is ordered to pay 100% of the treatment?

Get yourself up to these Dr's offices. Get the medical records, including test results, your entitled to them. Mom should be sharing with you, but since she is not, you have to get them yourself. The court won't give you the excuse that mom didn't share with you. While you are there ask the allergists office if they do any type of payment plans that could help you out.

At his time the court has not agreed that there is no ability to pay, your responsible for half of the medical, if you don't pay your in contempt. We have suggested that maybe it is time to revisit the child support order, while doing that maybe you can convince the court you don't have the ability to pay these bills. Your responsible for your medical bills, your also responsible for your dependents medical bills, court order or not, your still responsible. Unpaid medical bills will get sent to collections, which will further mess up your credit.

 

[CJane]

Have you spoken to ANY of the doctors?

 

[dwmiller69]

Have you spoken to ANY of the doctors?

Not a one. Up until now I haven't really had a reason not to trust my ex-wife on these matters because my daughters rarely have needed to go to the doctor. But in reading these responses it does sound like I need to be more involved. My ex does have sole custody though so I don't really have much say on what treatments she decides to have given for my daughter.

 

[Ladyback1]

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around an allergist/ENT saying that a child will need allergy shots for 5 years. Allergies are ever evolving--some can go away with time, new ones can pop up almost overnite.

I'm all for the NCP paying what is reasonable and necessary as it relates to medical expenses, however, I do believe that he needs to become more assertive, talk to the Drs., talk to his insurance company (a lot have nurse help-lines or assistance lines that could provide information regarding typical treatment for allergies).

And yes, if your financial situation has changed, you need to petition for a child support modification, even if it's just to ask for a review of the medical support order.

 

[stealth2]

Not a one. Up until now I haven't really had a reason not to trust my ex-wife on these matters because my daughters rarely have needed to go to the doctor. But in reading these responses it does sound like I need to be more involved. My ex does have sole custody though so I don't really have much say on what treatments she decides to have given for my daughter.

Seriously? It just NOW occurred to you - now that you owe a ton of $$$ - that you should be more involved??? PARENTING 101 - Talk to your kid's doctor!

Have you bothered to talk to either of their teachers? Or is that something else you didn't feel you needed to be involved with?

 

[CJane]

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around an allergist/ENT saying that a child will need allergy shots for 5 years. Allergies are ever evolving--some can go away with time, new ones can pop up almost overnite.

Except OP doesn't know that's what the doctor said. That's OP's interpretation of what the ex said. Because OP hasn't talked to the doctor(s).

 

[gam]

Not a one. Up until now I haven't really had a reason not to trust my ex-wife on these matters because my daughters rarely have needed to go to the doctor. But in reading these responses it does sound like I need to be more involved. My ex does have sole custody though so I don't really have much say on what treatments she decides to have given for my daughter.

I personally know tons of CP's, both dads and moms. Their biggest complaint about the NCP is they don't get involved and leave them all the work, they just get to be the fun parent. Time to stop being just the fun parent, step up in both medical and education, start getting involved in all of these. Down the road when your daughters grow up, they will see that one parent worked their tale off, while the other just did what they had to. Do you want your kids to see that? Just because your ex has sole, does not mean you can't be involved, get involved. You can always seek to get joint legal, so you have a say in these areas, getting involved now will show the court you should have joint legal.

 

[Silverplum]

She is reluctant to even ask the doctor and is making the accusation that I am putting finance before the health of my daughter. Waiting 3 months can save over $2000.

I wonder why your X would think you are putting finances before your daughter.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Bottom line is that it does not matter if pre-ordering saves mom money. OP is not required to spend more for mom to save some.

 

[LdiJ]

Bottom line is that it does not matter if pre-ordering saves mom money. OP is not required to spend more for mom to save some.

Except that it wasn't a choice mom made to save money:

She was told by the doctor that in order for the serum to be made and tailored for my daughters allergic symptoms, that she would need to pay up front for one year's worth of doses

Mom was REQUIRED to pay for a year's worth up front.

 

[Ohiogal]

Not a one. Up until now I haven't really had a reason not to trust my ex-wife on these matters because my daughters rarely have needed to go to the doctor. But in reading these responses it does sound like I need to be more involved. My ex does have sole custody though so I don't really have much say on what treatments she decides to have given for my daughter.

So this is all your ex-wife's fault but you hadn't done anything to be involved. REALLY? You just want to gripe about the costs and not find out what is going on with your daughter. That is NOT parenting. It is visiting. Continue.

 

[dwmiller69]

So this is all your ex-wife's fault but you hadn't done anything to be involved. REALLY? You just want to gripe about the costs and not find out what is going on with your daughter. That is NOT parenting. It is visiting. Continue.

I asked my ex earlier today for the doctor phone numbers and any supporting diagnosis/treatment recommendations given by each. I want to know that her doctors think that allergy shots are truly the best option and that the allergy doctor didn't just talk her into it with a good sales pitch. Like I said before, the 1 year supply has been ordered but not yet paid for.

Here is her reply for my request for information. "I'll give you my lawyer's contact info and further communication to me on this issue and outstanding $ owed will have to go thru that office."

 

[ecmst12]

Considering it's September, I think waiting until January to start the shots is pretty reasonable. But you need to speak with the doctor in the meantime. Mom does NOT have the right to withhold the doctor's name and contact info from you. She is also not required to provide you with copies of the records - you can get those on your own. Make an appointment with the doctor to discuss your child's test results and treatment plan.

 

[Ohiogal]

I asked my ex earlier today for the doctor phone numbers and any supporting diagnosis/treatment recommendations given by each. I want to know that her doctors think that allergy shots are truly the best option and that the allergy doctor didn't just talk her into it with a good sales pitch. Like I said before, the 1 year supply has been ordered but not yet paid for.

Here is her reply for my request for information. "I'll give you my lawyer's contact info and further communication to me on this issue and outstanding $ owed will have to go thru that office."

Considering you made this all about the money, I don't blame her for saying contact her attorney. You have NEVER contacted the doctor's office before now -- don't even know who it is -- and raised a big stink about shots and paying for it and then ask for the doctor's phone numbers? You didn't get a copy of the bill showing what you have to pay? Really? Call her attorney and her attorney can give you the doctor's phone number. You are on your own for the records.