what will happen?

[Tess3711]

What you and I are seeing is two different things. I respect your opinion. However what I see is a dad who chose to have no contact with his child for many years (other than automatic SSI benefits counting as child support). In the meantime mom marries and her husband becomes a father figure to the child. The child knows that her stepfather is not her biological father. He biological father is a total stranger to her. Mom moved without notifying the courts because it never occurred to her that dad would pop back up, and besides her last known address was her parents house and they still live there...so she is easily findable.

Dad then pops out of the blue, MANY years later with a threatening letter. Mom decides to ignore him. Foolish maybe, but not malicious. He is a total stranger to the child making unreasonable demands. Many months later he files for contempt.

As far as I am concerned Mom is NOT the bad guy here. Maybe she isn't welcoming dad with open arms but she is not the one who basically abandoned the child for 9 years. Maybe dad doesn't deserve to be welcomed with open arms. Maybe dad needs to earn some trust first. If I were dad's mom, that is sure the heck what I would be telling dad.

that sums it up nice!

 

[Tess3711]

IMHO, it's obvious -- to me -- that OP's change of story was just that: a change of her "story," and likely with the intent of avoiding further discussion with us about that "story."

there was no change in the story.
child has always known that there is a person out there who "physically" contributed to her existence. that person is indeed her legal father.
child knows step dad to be the only "daddy" in her life.
you need to be more than a sperm donor to be called a father.
sorry if i can't be more clear. one sperm cell does not make you a "daddy".
"daddy s" go to school plays, tough out the freezing cold weather to watch you cheer a football game, stay home from work to take care of you when you are sick and so on. they are involved in your life. they don't just show up one day and say "hey, i'm your real dad, nice to finally meet you"
don't know how else to explain it....
what you think was a change in my story was just me trying to be more clear

 

[mistoffolees]

there was no change in the story.
child has always known that there is a person out there who "physically" contributed to her existence. that person is indeed her legal father.
child knows step dad to be the only "daddy" in her life.
you need to be more than a sperm donor to be called a father.
sorry if i can't be more clear. one sperm cell does not make you a "daddy".
"daddy s" go to school plays, tough out the freezing cold weather to watch you cheer a football game, stay home from work to take care of you when you are sick and so on. they are involved in your life. they don't just show up one day and say "hey, i'm your real dad, nice to finally meet you"
don't know how else to explain it....
what you think was a change in my story was just me trying to be more clear

Bull.

In your first post, you said:
"at this point she is 9 and does not know this person exists. (i was remarried and she believes my husband is her father.) i would be hesitant to let contact begin at this point - she has no idea who he is!"

CLEARLY, you are changing your story.

Sorry, but I'm not wasting any more time on someone who's not only intentionally trying to keep Dad out of the child's life, but also flat out lying to the volunteers who are here to provide assistance.

Go lie to your attorney and leave us alone.

 

[stealth2]

Yeah, that IS what you said, Tess... So it's a little hard to reconcile that with your current stance that she DOES know her stepDad's not her real father. Unfortunately, that really does affect your credibility and how invested people are in helping you.

I'm sorry, but I think you'd be best off speaking with an attorney and spelling out to him/her exactly what your daughter does or doesn't know about her parentage. I suspect too many of us simply don't know what part of your thread to believe...

 

[mistoffolees]

Yeah, that IS what you said, Tess... So it's a little hard to reconcile that with your current stance that she DOES know her stepDad's not her real father. Unfortunately, that really does affect your credibility and how invested people are in helping you.

I'm sorry, but I think you'd be best off speaking with an attorney and spelling out to him/her exactly what your daughter does or doesn't know about her parentage. I suspect too many of us simply don't know what part of your thread to believe...

I think I got it.

1. OP says that she's telling the truth through the entire thread.

2. OP says that "at this point she is 9 and does not know this person exists. (i was remarried and she believes my husband is her father.) i would be hesitant to let contact begin at this point - she has no idea who he is!"

3. OP says "child has always known that there is a person out there who "physically" contributed to her existence."

Ergo, the child must have been conceived via Immaculate Conception.

Now I get it.