Will this constitute proof of abuse?

[Ohiogal]

This isn't about emotion. It's about what the courts will and won't consider, you know? You know as well as everyone else on this thread - no, the entire board - that nobody is even vaguely suggesting that you should not care, or appear not to care, about the boys. You're letting emotion overtake the legal reality there.

But this isn't your fight. If Dad wants things to change - DAD has to make the moves. If you see abuse, and the kids' Dad sees abuse, you report that abuse.

Because come on, when all is said and done - the responses you've seen here today are nothing compared to what a judge would say if you presented this thread to him verbally, the way you have here today. If this has gotten to be too emotional today, take a step back and read the forum for a while. Read the old threads. Go back a year or two, even. You're going to see a pattern of "coulda shoulda woulda", and you're in a position now where you can either hurt Dad's chances, or help him. Pick the right one.

Let Dad take care of things. Research for him by all means...but if you really, truly want to support him and his kids, then you DO need to step back and let the kids parents sort this out.

Dog, you are my favorite newbie. Seriously.

 

[Ohiogal]

This is what you don't understand. Emotion has no place in a court room. Legal is not emotional, is not about emotions, doesn't care a bit about what you feel. But until you can grasp that, you are an overstepping step, a legal stranger who doesn't know her place.

SHE IS NOT A STEP. She is just sleeping with dad -- she is NOT married to him.

 

[Ohiogal]

I do not plan on bringing emotion into the courtroom, should it go there. I understand that what is morally right is not necessarily what is legally right.

What I don't understand is how asking advice on behalf of my fiance is overstepping my boundaries. Everything else I have done has been at his request as well.

As for the mother, she didn't make the time to do the things I do for them now when they lived with her, much less now. She isn't concerned that I'm doing too much for the boys. She just wants standard visitation and to parent her children as she sees fit even if it falls under legal descriptions of abuse. She wants to live with her druggy, loser boyfriend, stay on welfare and party for the rest of her life with as little responsibility as possible.

Why do you believe that YOU go to the courtroom? YOU DO NOT. You have no place there. YOU ARE NOT A PARTY. And dad is legally not dad yet. The only thing preventing him from being a legal stranger is signing the AOP and that doesn't grant him custody legally.

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm aware that the judge is who has the final say. But my fiance is the one who has to provide proof that it is abuse according to the law which is what I'm trying to get a clearer picture of here.

And he has no proof but fairy tales written in a journal. The children are abused so he never went to the ER or doctor or did anything. He has his BUD write it down in a journal. Yep. NOT PROOF.