Vacation time issue

[luvisabattle]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington State

My ex would like to take our daughter out of state on a vacation this month and I have refused to give consent due to the fact that he requested four weeks (our pp allows one two week block and two one week blocks of vacation time) of 'vacation' when he had my duaghter this summer, and was using it as a tool to withhold my residential time with her. I did have her for weekends here and there this summer but it was a daily fight to get him to agree. He would refuse, manipulate grey areas of our plan so that he could interpret it's meaning to suit his needs, or just not respond to requests.

He has hired a lawyer who has said that she will 'take this to an ex-parte for relief from the judge' if I do not agree.

The main issue I have with him taking her is that she would be missing a week of school and that would put her back too much. Her teacher agrees.

The other issue I have is that she doesn't want to go. There are many many family problems going on in my ex's home that cause my daughter to not want to spend time with them. He has a fourteen year old step-son that has been inappropriate with our daughter and her step-mom supports her son.

Should I wait to see if he actually tries to pick her up for this vacation and then file a contempt order, or should I file to have the modified plan modified again to have the grey areas specified, and what does the threat of 'relief from the judge' mean?

Thanks in advance for your helpWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Washington State

My ex would like to take our daughter out of state on a vacation this month and I have refused to give consent due to the fact that he requested four weeks (our pp allows one two week block and two one week blocks of vacation time) of 'vacation' when he had my duaghter this summer, and was using it as a tool to withhold my residential time with her. I did have her for weekends here and there this summer but it was a daily fight to get him to agree. He would refuse, manipulate grey areas of our plan so that he could interpret it's meaning to suit his needs, or just not respond to requests.

He has hired a lawyer who has said that she will 'take this to an ex-parte for relief from the judge' if I do not agree.

The main issue I have with him taking her is that she would be missing a week of school and that would put her back too much. Her teacher agrees.

She would be too far back after only a week?

The other issue I have is that she doesn't want to go. There are many many family problems going on in my ex's home that cause my daughter to not want to spend time with them. He has a fourteen year old step-son that has been inappropriate with our daughter and her step-mom supports her son.

Define "inappropriate".

Should I wait to see if he actually tries to pick her up for this vacation and then file a contempt order, or should I file to have the modified plan modified again to have the grey areas specified, and what does the threat of 'relief from the judge' mean?

Thanks in advance for your helpWhat is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

What exactly does your court order say about visitation and vacations?

 

[luvisabattle]

vacation clause and residential time

Our daugher lives iwth me during the school year and with her father during the summer. We alternate weekends, school breaks, and holidays.

The vacation clause states that each parent is allowed one two week block and two one week blocks of vacation time.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Our daugher lives iwth me during the school year and with her father during the summer. We alternate weekends, school breaks, and holidays.

The vacation clause states that each parent is allowed one two week block and two one week blocks of vacation time.

So the vacation clause is not defined as dad having to use vacation during summer time when he has child correct?

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

As for the schol thing.... I agree with Dog the teachers can make up a packet of schoolwork for the child to bring with them so they dont fall behind. One week is not that big of a deal. Of course that depends on rules in your district. In our school district vacation is not an excused absense and if your child misses more than 5 days of school per semester then the parent/child can be brought to truancy court and get in some trouble**************.

 

[luvisabattle]

missing school

She struggled through first grade mainly due to the stress of being passed back and forth between two waring families. This year we do at least 30 ot 45 min of homework a night. There's a lot of pressure from the school to make sure that she's at the correct level. Her father has not participated in helping her scholasically and I really doubt he'll be doing her work with her while they are at Sea World.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

She struggled through first grade mainly due to the stress of being passed back and forth between two waring families. This year we do at least 30 ot 45 min of homework a night. There's a lot of pressure from the school to make sure that she's at the correct level. Her father has not participated in helping her scholasically and I really doubt he'll be doing her work with her while they are at Sea World.

You did not answer question about when vacation time can be used....Is it seperate from his summer time slot?

 

[luvisabattle]

Step-son issues

Two years ago my ex moved to Seattle from Arizona with his new family.

I reported my ex to CPS for 'spanking' his new step-son (they had been married for a year, dated for around 6 months) with a belt. I used to care for my ex's step-son and 6mo old baby on Saturdays while his wife worked. The step-son asked me for help he was afraid of my ex, and my ex's family wouldn't deal with it, so I felt like I had to report it. All hell broke loose after that.

The step-son is now fourteen and bullies my daughter. He is physical with her 'throwing' her around, pulling her underware up giving her 'wedges' and then oddly (disturbing to me) laying on her bed at bedtime kissing her face over and over so that she feels like she cant breath (seven yr old discriptions). I talked to his mother - my daughter's step-mother - about it and she denies that there is anything wrong with that behavior. But they used to have my daughter sleep with her step-brother two years ago when she first started to have everyother weekend visitation with them.

I have since had it entered into our new pp that my daughter not be left alone with her step-brother.

He has other problems as well. Last year they sent him to a 'ranch' in montana for boys (?) He was there for an entire year and not allowed to come home even for Christmas.

 

[luvisabattle]

vacation time -

It isnt specified in our pp when the vacation time is to be used so my ex's argument was that he could use it at any time. It does specify 'blocks' though. and the pp states in another area that neither parent shall go for more than two weeks without residential time with the parent.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Two years ago my ex moved to Seattle from Arizona with his new family.

I reported my ex to CPS for 'spanking' his new step-son (they had been married for a year, dated for around 6 months) with a belt. I used to care for my ex's step-son and 6mo old baby on Saturdays while his wife worked. The step-son asked me for help he was afraid of my ex, and my ex's family wouldn't deal with it, so I felt like I had to report it. All hell broke loose after that.

The step-son is now fourteen and bullies my daughter. He is physical with her 'throwing' her around, pulling her underware up giving her 'wedges' and then oddly (disturbing to me) laying on her bed at bedtime kissing her face over and over so that she feels like she cant breath (seven yr old discriptions). I talked to his mother - my daughter's step-mother - about it and she denies that there is anything wrong with that behavior. But they used to have my daughter sleep with her step-brother two years ago when she first started to have everyother weekend visitation with them.

I have since had it entered into our new pp that my daughter not be left alone with her step-brother.

He has other problems as well. Last year they sent him to a 'ranch' in montana for boys (?) He was there for an entire year and not allowed to come home even for Christmas.

If the spanking took place in Arizona it is perfectly legal for stepdad to spank the child with the belt. Shoot schools In Arizona are allowed to use corporal Punishment... Again you have not answered question you were asked.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

It isnt specified in our pp when the vacation time is to be used so my ex's argument was that he could use it at any time. It does specify 'blocks' though. and the pp states in another area that neither parent shall go for more than two weeks without residential time with the parent.

Ok so according to the order he has the right to take child on vacation and you would be breaking the order by not allowing him too.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

.... I really doubt he'll be doing her work with her while they are at Sea World.

Why? I did it for a week at Disney with Little Miss Pro Se ...

Dad want's a month, but is only going away for a week? How about asking for a weekend in the middle, which would meet the requirements of the pp(snicker, I said pp).

And I agree with Dogmatique that if she misses a week of school she won't get more than a week behind, even if Dad doesn't take the work with them. If that is then the case, you'll have at least a decent reason to not allow it if this happens again.

 

[sometwo]

nd then oddly (disturbing to me) laying on her bed at bedtime kissing her face over and over so that she feels like she cant breath (seven yr old discriptions)

I have since had it entered into our new pp that my daughter not be left alone with her step-brother

So has dd been left alone with stepbrother since then? Also has daughter been in counseling and have you talked about boundaries with your daughter?


Also missing school for a week , I wouldn't think is a big deal. We took stepson and daughter out of school for a week for disney and the beach. The teachers told us to "have fun".

Have you discussed with dad the school work and what would need to be done while gone or have you just automatically said no?

 

[luvisabattle]

Corpral Punishment etc.

My ex punished his stepson after they moved here to Seattle. The boy (he was 12) was black and blue. You could see the actual belt marks. It made me sick to my stomach.

So I should contact my ex's lawyer and tell her that I change my mind and consent to the vacation?

What about the withholding of residential time that he did this summer, should I address that or let it go?

Also should I have the plan revised so that my time during the summer is clearly defined and also to revise the vacation clause? He's using to supersede weekend time and holidays with no make-up time.

Thanks for your help - your advice is appreciated.

 

[luvisabattle]

step brother problem

We have talked about boundries and she feels like hers are being over stepped. He's seven years her senior and his mother doesnt care about his behavior.

I would not have faught the vacation time if it were not for the fact that she really doesn't want to be with them.

What is a 'relief from the judge'?