Sweetheart - your husband is this child's father. It is HIS responsibility to help support her. Her and the 2yo - it is actually NOT his responsibility to support your 4and 8yos. Really. If he can? Good on him. But his children come first when it comes to support. The 8yo first, since there is an order from the court. That's just how it works, whether you like it or not. Nor does it make his ex bitter to expect him to step up to his responsibility. It's also not her fault that you don't get support from your ex. Frankly - you *should* be pursuing the CS you're owed - because by expecting your husband to support two kids who are not his, you are stiffing his daughter.