Is overnight visitation mandatory?

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What is the name of your state? Texas

My husbands ex is trying to get us to take their two boys for overnight weekend visits. We don't have accomodations as we have a new baby and live with other family members. Plus my husband has one weekend day off. She has been hounding him for almost 3 months now. She is with them pretty much 24/7 because she doesn't work or go to school, so I can understand she wants a break from the kids, but we just don't have anywhere to put them. Their case goes through OAG since they were never married.

Thanks

 

[BelizeBreeze]

visitation is a RIGHT, NOT a legal obligation.

But you can tell your husband that if he continues to refuse to take the child, his ex can use that the next time they are in court to show a pattern of lack of concern.

Your husband needs to make accommodations. PERIOD!

 

[stealth2]

This is something I never really understand. Y'all apparently aren't in a financial position to live on your own. Yet made the decision to have another child anyway. AND give his other kids the clear message that they just aren't as important to him as his new life. Then he'll wonder why they don't want to come over. Surprise!

 

[haiku]

so is he thier dad or what?

When I first married my husband, we ended up moving into a dinky apartment while waiting to buy our house.

my husband was working very hard at the time building our business and yet we still managed to fit us, our kid, and the 3 kids from his first mariage into our two bedroom apartment on his weekends.

As a parent you do what you gotta do....

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My husbands ex is trying to get us to take their two boys for overnight weekend visits. We don't have accomodations as we have a new baby and live with other family members. Plus my husband has one weekend day off. She has been hounding him for almost 3 months now. She is with them pretty much 24/7 because she doesn't work or go to school, so I can understand she wants a break from the kids, but we just don't have anywhere to put them. Their case goes through OAG since they were never married.

Thanks

The OAG only handles child support cases. The are NOT allowed to deal with custody or visitation issues. As BB explained, once your husband finally gets to the point where he WANTS visitation, he's going to have a lot of hoops to jump through first. He will likely have to fulfill a number of requirement before visitation is allowed (like parenting classes, various evaluations and supervised visitation) at HIS expense.

 

[pixel]

He loves his kids and sees them every weekend (his order states he only is supposed to have them every other weekend).

I was told I could not have children, so when I found out I was pregnant, I was extremely surprised and at 28, I figured this may be my only chance to have a child and I knew it would be hard. I have family that could help me support my child on my own if need be, but I wanted my husband to RAISE this child rather that just pay for them. Even if I were single, I make "too much" to qualify for public assistance.

The are other reasons why both he and I are reluctant to take them also. He was taking them for overnight visits before our baby was born, and she claimed that they had been sexually abused while in our care (they were 2 and 3 yrs old at the time). He then had to have supervised visits only at her residence, and the investigation took months to complete and turned up nothing. I don't want us to go through that again, and especially don't want the children to go through that either.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

He loves his kids and sees them every weekend (his order states he only is supposed to have them every other weekend).

I was told I could not have children, so when I found out I was pregnant, I was extremely surprised and at 28, I figured this may be my only chance to have a child and I knew it would be hard. I have family that could help me support my child on my own if need be, but I wanted my husband to RAISE this child rather that just pay for them. Even if I were single, I make "too much" to qualify for public assistance.

The are other reasons why both he and I are reluctant to take them also. He was taking them for overnight visits before our baby was born, and she claimed that they had been sexually abused while in our care (they were 2 and 3 yrs old at the time). He then had to have supervised visits only at her residence, and the investigation took months to complete and turned up nothing. I don't want us to go through that again, and especially don't want the children to go through that either.

I guess these facts were not important enough for you to include in your FIRST POST!!!

 

[nextwife]

My mom grew up during the depression, 8 kids, two parents, a three bedroom, one bath upper falt. So what if thet sleep on air mattresses or couches?

And I agree with the signal dad sends to his kids by refusing them - new baby is more important than they are.

Two adults cannot afford a place of their own? Even with CS, two capable adults SHOULD be able to manage having their own place. ALL dad's kids, and spending time with them, should be important to him. The kids are growing up NOW, not ten years from now when dad has maybe more resources.

 

[stealth2]

When I was first divorced, the kids and I lived in a place with 1 small bedroom, small sitting room and galley kitchen. It was the BEST place we've ever lived. We were all snug and always together. Even now, with a big place, most weekends find the three of us camped out in the FR.

As for the abuse issue that suddenly becomes relevant - if you're living with family, you've got witnesses in your favor. No excuse, IMO.

 

[haiku]

When I was first divorced, the kids and I lived in a place with 1 small bedroom, small sitting room and galley kitchen. It was the BEST place we've ever lived. We were all snug and always together. Even now, with a big place, most weekends find the three of us camped out in the FR.

As for the abuse issue that suddenly becomes relevant - if you're living with family, you've got witnesses in your favor. No excuse, IMO.

I so agree. Some of the best times we had bonding as a new blended family was in our small living room, camped out on the floor, popping popcorn, and just being together....

 

[pixel]

Two adults cannot afford a place of their own? Even with CS, two capable adults SHOULD be able to manage having their own place. ALL dad's kids, and spending time with them, should be important to him. The kids are growing up NOW, not ten years from now when dad has maybe more resources.

We cannot afford our own place because my husband has been denied support adjustments twice since the baby has been born (he's 11 months old now) and taken 2 pay cuts since the last review. He makes just enough money to pay for his support order and his expenses to and from work. As far as everything else goes (the car he drives to work, insurance, the small rent amount for us to live with family, the $510/mon daycare for our baby, his formula, diapers and food etc.) are all paid by me. It would be cheaper for him to stay at home with the baby, and I pay his support order, but we won't ever get ahead that way. I even helped pay to get back support paid when he lost his job.

or I could always quit my job and get housing.. I've paid enough taxes to get a free ride for a while

 

[ceara19]

He loves his kids and sees them every weekend (his order states he only is supposed to have them every other weekend).

I was told I could not have children, so when I found out I was pregnant, I was extremely surprised and at 28, I figured this may be my only chance to have a child and I knew it would be hard. I have family that could help me support my child on my own if need be, but I wanted my husband to RAISE this child rather that just pay for them. Even if I were single, I make "too much" to qualify for public assistance.

The are other reasons why both he and I are reluctant to take them also. He was taking them for overnight visits before our baby was born, and she claimed that they had been sexually abused while in our care (they were 2 and 3 yrs old at the time). He then had to have supervised visits only at her residence, and the investigation took months to complete and turned up nothing. I don't want us to go through that again, and especially don't want the children to go through that either.

Do you see what is wrong with your last post? (Hint: pay attention to the bold words.) You referred to yourself, alone and in conjunction with your husband, EIGHTEEN times in the course of 8 sentences. The problem is, this isn't about YOU.

 

[momofrose]

Get a couple of air mattresses...pretty simple I think.

Maybe mom doesn't just need a break - maybe she knows that a father in a child's life is VERY important.

No she can not MAKE the father have overnight's but put yourself in his children's place..how would you feel???

D

 

[pixel]

Do you see what is wrong with your last post? (Hint: pay attention to the bold words.) You referred to yourself, alone and in conjunction with your husband, EIGHTEEN times in the course of 8 sentences. The problem is, this isn't about YOU.

How would you feel if someone accused you of abusing their child then turns around and says "you'd better take them or else you won't see them at all?".

You're right, it's not about me, but neither their father or I wants them turned into pawns either. We eventually would like to take custody of them when we are settled. They love visiting with both of us and their brother. They are even going trick-or-treating along with their brother for his first halloween (Which is a day that by the court order we shouldn't even have them). Their mom does need a break and needs to get her life together as well. She doesnt even have a HS education and hasn't had a job in almost 5 years.

 

[nextwife]

Get a couple of air mattresses...pretty simple I think.

Maybe mom doesn't just need a break - maybe she knows that a father in a child's life is VERY important.

No she can not MAKE the father have overnight's but put yourself in his children's place..how would you feel???

D

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