Is overnight visitation mandatory?

[ceara19]

How would you feel if someone accused you of abusing their child then turns around and says "you'd better take them or else you won't see them at all?".

You're right, it's not about me, but neither their father or I wants them turned into pawns either. We eventually would like to take custody of them when we are settled. They love visiting with both of us and their brother. They are even going trick-or-treating along with their brother for his first halloween (Which is a day that by the court order we shouldn't even have them). Their mom does need a break and needs to get her life together as well. She doesnt even have a HS education and hasn't had a job in almost 5 years.

Failing to utilize the visitation that he has now, almost GUARANTEES that he will NOT get custody.

 

[stealth2]

How would you feel if someone accused you of abusing their child then turns around and says "you'd better take them or else you won't see them at all?".

The fact remains that you live in a place where supervision to ensure witnesses isn't an issue. So that's not an excuse. And honestly, given that wasn't even part of your initial argument why Dad couldn't keep the kids overnight, it DOES come off as an excuse.

You're right, it's not about me, but neither their father or I wants them turned into pawns either. We eventually would like to take custody of them when we are settled.

I can tell you now that the likelihood of getting custody of them "when you're settled" is slim to none at the rate he's going. A change in circumstance for the two of YOU won't do a thing - a change in circumstance for the kids is all that matters.

 

[momofrose]

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LOL!!!!

Wait - you want to try and get cutsody later after you are "settled" but refuse to take them for overnights now??? NEVER going to happen.

As far as mom and getting a high school diploma or a job - your bitterness is showing!!! Mind your own business!

D

 

[pixel]

LOL!!!!
As far as mom and getting a high school diploma or a job - your bitterness is showing!!! Mind your own business!
D

I am not bitter, and I only brought it up because SHE DOES need a break. She is also living with family and they have 3 adults and 4 kids a 3 bedroom duplex. I feel bad that she is not able to do more for her kids sake. I can't help but notice things when we pick them up and drop them off and attend their get togethers for the boys.

She asked us once to keep them overnight so she could take her GED test the next morning. We accomodated her request and when my husband asked her how her test went she replied with "I didn't go, I didn't have number 2 pencils".

 

[stealth2]

I am not bitter, and I only brought it up because SHE DOES need a break. She is also living with family and they have 3 adults and 4 kids a 3 bedroom duplex.

Funny. She manages to have them overnight.

 

[demartian]

Living Room Camp Out

Or get tons of blankets and pillows and throw them into the room in front of the TV and let the whole gang camp out together, 11 month old won't mind crawling all over everyone and the whole family gets to spend time together.

Children are pawns only if you LET them be. Follow your court orders, take them when you get the chance and ignore stupid comments from the Ex.

 

[momofrose]

Listen the facts are as follows:
Fact
No - she can not MAKE dad take his children for overnights...
Fact
Trying to get modification of custody down the roiad after you are settled is almost a zero chance if he does not take his overnights now.
Fact
Children do not care (usually) about their accomodations for a couple of nights a week...they just need quality time with dad.
Fact
Put the children first and buy an air mattress!

D

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My husbands ex is trying to get us to take their two boys for overnight weekend visits. We don't have accomodations as we have a new baby and live with other family members. Plus my husband has one weekend day off. She has been hounding him for almost 3 months now. She is with them pretty much 24/7 because she doesn't work or go to school, so I can understand she wants a break from the kids, but we just don't have anywhere to put them. Their case goes through OAG since they were never married.

Thanks

You have live-in family members who can witness there is no abuse.

I have kids here every weekend that aren't mine (friends of my children) and they don't have their own beds or rooms....Funny how even though mine do most weekends they are still all piled around the couch/floor.

Support doesn't get LOWERED because someone has MORE children....People need to STOP having children when they can't afford the ones they already have. *IMO*

Raising kids is expensive and time consuming....definately rarely (if ever) 'convenient'....but their childhoods last a short amount of time compared to their entire lives. To avoid or minimize that demonstrates your husband's lack of dedication to his children. Sounds like it's time for someone to get a second job.

 

[pixel]

I figured I was going to get biased responses here, so Thank you to those of you who answered my question.

Based on your info I will recommend to my husband that he begin to document his visitation time, so if it goes to court, it will show that he is visiting with them for more than what is outlined in the order.

 

[haiku]

I am not bitter, and I only brought it up because SHE DOES need a break. She is also living with family and they have 3 adults and 4 kids a 3 bedroom duplex. I feel bad that she is not able to do more for her kids sake. I can't help but notice things when we pick them up and drop them off and attend their get togethers for the boys.

She asked us once to keep them overnight so she could take her GED test the next morning. We accomodated her request and when my husband asked her how her test went she replied with "I didn't go, I didn't have number 2 pencils".

well has your husband looked in a mirror lately, because he looks to be in the EXACT same boat as she is**************

 

[stealth2]

I figured I was going to get biased responses here, so Thank you to those of you who answered my question.

The only bias shown was FOR the kids. And if y'all don't like that - too bad.

 

[pixel]

Support doesn't get LOWERED because someone has MORE children....People need to STOP having children when they can't afford the ones they already have. *IMO*

According to Texas Family code, it should be reduced, but the OAG states there is not significant enough change to warrant a modification. Unfortunatley, I don't have a state agency looking after the welfare of my child.

Sounds like it's time for someone to get a second job.

He's already been hired for a second job and starts next week. And I'm sure the OAG will take that money into account next review too

 

[casa]

I figured I was going to get biased responses here, so Thank you to those of you who answered my question.

Based on your info I will recommend to my husband that he begin to document his visitation time, so if it goes to court, it will show that he is visiting with them for more than what is outlined in the order.

#1 Doesn't matter what you document...it still won't change the fact that custody won't change unless there is a Significant Change of Circumstance in the children's HOME. Not your home~ THEIR home.

#2 Even if he demonstrates/proves he has them more FREQUENTLY than the outlined time...not taking them overnight is critical. How could he possibly justify wanting custody when they can't even sleep at his house????? Mom seems to manage them fulltime with her household as full (if not fuller) than yours!

 

[casa]

According to Texas Family code, it should be reduced, but the OAG states there is not significant enough change to warrant a modification. Unfortunatley, I don't have a state agency looking after the welfare of my child.



He's already been hired for a second job and starts next week. And I'm sure the OAG will take that money into account next review too

OAG is ensuring that the previous children are adequately provided for, before they take into account an additional child. If husband's income hasn't DROPPED significantly- then the order stays. It isn't a possibility to get it dropped just because he has another child...but because he's had a decrease in wages.

 

[pixel]

OAG is ensuring that the previous children are adequately provided for, before they take into account an additional child. If husband's income hasn't DROPPED significantly- then the order stays. It isn't a possibility to get it dropped just because he has another child...but because he's had a decrease in wages.

That's just it.. it HAS dropped .. from about $20k/yr to about $16k/yr. Then mid year they got an order to enroll him in health insurance for him and the two boys. (I'm guessing because it was because he became eligible after working there a year). The premiums were very high and the coverage sucked with ridiculous deducibles. Take home after CS, med insurance and taxes, he was lucky to clear $200 for a two week period. He tried to tell OAG that the insurance was too high and exceeded their "reasonable cost" as outlined in Family code. They claimed no knowledge of that, told him too bad so sad and sent him on his way.

When he lost his job there, his last paycheck showed he grossed just over $10k, and $3700 of it had been garnished for support. That is way over the 25% guideline for two children.