Dead Beat Dad

[CCMominVA]

What is the name of your state? Virginia

Hello, I've been on this forum for a recent car accident, and I'm getting addicted!

My situation is this:

Divorced my son's father when he was 14 months old. He was ordered to pay x amount, but "couldn't afford it", so I agreed to y amount. He paid for about a year and then he disappeared.

I remarried when son was 3 1/2. Never gave much thought to dead beat dad, I was managing on my own. I did let him know each time I moved, as the courts ordered, but never a word from him.

Son is getting ready to turn 10 in December. I recently found where deadbeat is living (New York) and am considering going after him. I'd like to put that money away for son's college.

Here's another kink....my now husband has been asking to adopt son for last 5 years, but I've held off. I wanted that to be son's decision, and he is asking for it as well. He doesn't even call himself bio name, but our name. Will we still be able to get the arrears if step-dad does adopt him?

Thanks in advance for all the info I hope to receive!

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

You need to understand that your husband cannot just adopt your son without bio dad giving up his rights to the child.

 

[moburkes]

They are 2 separate issues. You are able to forgive the arrears. Sometimes people will forgive them, if bio-dad terminates his rights, which leads to the adoption.

 

[CCMominVA]

You need to understand that your husband cannot just adopt your son without bio dad giving up his rights to the child.

Oh, I completely understand this. He has completely abandoned our son, so I don't know why he wouldn't....unless it's some macho reason that "he's my son, and I love him" except I haven't been a part of his life for the last 8 years.

 

[CCMominVA]

They are 2 separate issues. You are able to forgive the arrears. Sometimes people will forgive them, if bio-dad terminates his rights, which leads to the adoption.

Thanks...I'm just wondering if I should let him off so easy. As it is, he charged off every bit of credit we had together that he was supposed to pay for.

I'm not money grubbing at all....I've lived this long without it, our son is a happy adjusted child without bio dad, I know better off not knowing him. LOL I would just like to make bio-dad be held responsible for at least some of what he should have been doing all along!!!

 

[moburkes]

Virginia Statute: §16.2-283(A), (B)-(E), (G)

Grounds: Abandonment or extreme parental disinterest, abuse/neglect, mental illness or deficiency, alcohol or drug induced incapacity, felony conviction/incarceration, failure of reasonable efforts, sexual abuse, abuse/neglect or loss of rights of another child, failure to maintain contact, failure to provide support, child judged in need of services/dependent, child’s best interest, child in care 15 of 22 months (or less), felony assault of child or sibling, murder/manslaughter of sibling child, voluntary relinquishment, identity or location of parent unknown, aggravated circumstances

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Go ahead and file the TPR motion in your state of current jurisdiction. When the ex is served he'll whine and try to negotiate you forgive the arrears.

DO NOT forgive the arrears. You then tell ex that if he doesn't agree to the TPR motion you will file a separate motion in district court for the arrears, obtain a judgement (which he can't discharge in another bankrupty) and attach his paycheck, his jock strap and everything he may own in the future.

THEN you will report him to all three credit reporting agencies.

Hell hath no furry

 

[moburkes]

[QUOTE}Hell hath no furry [/QUOTE]

I think you mean fury, but is that from PERSONAL experience?

 

[ceara19]

Go ahead and file the TPR motion in your state of current jurisdiction. When the ex is served he'll whine and try to negotiate you forgive the arrears.

DO NOT forgive the arrears. You then tell ex that if he doesn't agree to the TPR motion you will file a separate motion in district court for the arrears, obtain a judgement (which he can't discharge in another bankrupty) and attach his paycheck, his jock strap and everything he may own in the future.

THEN you will report him to all three credit reporting agencies.

Hell hath no furry

I agree completely. Forgiving the arrears is like rewarding him for being a crappy father.

 

[Silverplum]

Hell hath no furry

I think you mean fury, but is that from PERSONAL experience?

If you are asking BB if he's been to hell, checkin' out the fur situation there, I think we all know the answer.

 

[CCMominVA]

I agree completely. Forgiving the arrears is like rewarding him for being a crappy father.

That's been my thought all along....my husband has thought to drop it and just worry about getting son's name and assets to himself. My thought has been, why does he get to just do what he wants and not be held responsible!

Looking forward on the posts....one of the reasons I'm getting addicted to this forum is the entertaining banter! Keep it coming! LMBO!

 

[BelizeBreeze]

If you are asking BB if he's been to hell, checkin' out the fur situation there, I think we all know the answer.

Here kitty kitty .....muff season is now OPEN!!!!

 

[ceara19]

That's been my thought all along....my husband has thought to drop it and just worry about getting son's name and assets to himself. My thought has been, why does he get to just do what he wants and not be held responsible!

Looking forward on the posts....one of the reasons I'm getting addicted to this forum is the entertaining banter! Keep it coming! LMBO!

Make sure to report the child support delinquency to the credit bureaus. You may never see a penny in child support, but he won't be able to finance a pack of gum.

 

[Silverplum]

Here kitty kitty .....muff season is now OPEN!!!!

I guess Mo and I brought this upon ourselves.

 

[moburkes]

I guess Mo and I brought this upon ourselves.

I said fury. The rest of y'all were stuck on that FURRY stuff. Glad to see you back.