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Crazy Ex and accusations

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What is the name of your state? WA


Okay i need some advice, and being that this is a free advice site==i figured this would be the right place to ask my question. It is a long story, but to make it short and to the point. Me and my Ex wife have been divorced almost 2 years now. I got together with this girl that has 3 kids of her own and i moved in with her. The drive is only roughly 45 mins away and when i had the kids over there on MY days, she would always be harassing me. She would be saying stuff like "im abandoning my kids for another family" and all sorts of stuff. I recorded all the messages she left me on my voicemail onto a tape recorder, and some were quite incriminating. At this same time, she had a boyfriend and had the kids over there quite a bit with her as well. Well to start off with, my son is mildly autistic, he is 4 years old but he repeats stuff he hears over and over. At one time, he said something and his mother twisted it around to make it sound like something sexual and she asked him if my fiancees son (and she said his name to to him)touched him and he just repeated she said...then she was convinced that he was being molested. She then left a message saying she would break the my fiancee (now wife's) sons hand the next time he touched him. We called CPS on her for saying that and called the police and made a report. However, my ex never made no police report on anything. Now im wondering, how much leverage do i have in this case? She talked to a facilitaor and he said that the judge could take my visitation away or have me monitored to make sure i dont take the kids over there to her house. Mind you, she is my wife now, she is their stepmother, and i dont even live with her, i live with my mom because i was waiting for things to calm down a bit and for my tax refund so i can afford an attorney...but i dont think it is fair. So another question of mine would be how much could i get a decent attorney for? In what price range? Can someone please help me out here? If you need more information let me know
 


tater_tot

Member
I don't know how much this will help you, but most custody battles start out at $1,500 - $3,000. Not to mention the kind of money you run into with psychiatrists, mediators, guardian ad litems, social services, and possibly even the police in your case. First, of all though I think if there is truly nothing going on with your wife and her kids than I think you made a mistake by moving out. I do understand the whole letting things die down, but it also makes it look like you may believe (even though you may not) something was going on so you got away from her and her kids to keep your kids away from them. It's all about what a judge believes and rules. Good luck!!
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
I don't know how much this will help you, but most custody battles start out at $1,500 - $3,000. Not to mention the kind of money you run into with psychiatrists, mediators, guardian ad litems, social services, and possibly even the police in your case. First, of all though I think if there is truly nothing going on with your wife and her kids than I think you made a mistake by moving out. I do understand the whole letting things die down, but it also makes it look like you may believe (even though you may not) something was going on so you got away from her and her kids to keep your kids away from them. It's all about what a judge believes and rules. Good luck!!
Good grief. That's the lowest lowball figure ever. Try multiplying by 10.
 

CJane

Senior Member
I don't know how much this will help you, but most custody battles start out at $1,500 - $3,000.
Heh.

My divorce - settled out of court - cost me $2500 because I found an attorney to do it for a flat rate.... BIG MISTAKE. But still, same divorce cost my ex about $10,000 in legal fees.

My custody battle that just ended (sort of)... cost me upwards of $10,000 and the ex around $35000.

That decision is currently under appeal. My attorney has capped his fees at $1500 and is taking payments of $50/month because he's a saint. My ex will probably be paying at least $6000 for the appeal... which he'll most likely lose.
 

tater_tot

Member
Before everyone gets bent out of shape, I did say
but most custody battles start out at $1,500 - $3,000
that it STARTS at least at those fees that is basically just to obtain a lawyer. Even my custody battle has cost me $14,000 + and I'm still going so I am not denying that it will cost you BIG bucks in the end, but I was just saying to get things started it will cost at least somewhere in that range.
 
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Silverplum

Senior Member
Before everyone gets bent out of shape, I did say that it STARTS at least at those fees that is basically just to obtain a lawyer. Even my custody battle has cost me $14,000 + and I'm still going so I am not denying that it will cost you BIG bucks in the end, but I was just saying to get things started it will cost at least somewhere in that range.
Nobody is "bent out of shape."
You, on the other hand, are giving silly "advice" and got called on one of those such posts.
Accept that you wrote mistakenly and move on.
 

fairisfair

Senior Member
Before everyone gets bent out of shape, I did say that it STARTS at least at those fees that is basically just to obtain a lawyer. Even my custody battle has cost me $14,000 + and I'm still going so I am not denying that it will cost you BIG bucks in the end, but I was just saying to get things started it will cost at least somewhere in that range.
you need to stick to ASKING questions for a while. You aren't even DONE with your custody battle yet.
 

tater_tot

Member
What is it with MOST of you Senior Members. I can see why you all have thousands of posts, because at least 60% or more of those are criticizing, telling people to move this, move that, delete this, attach that, and things like that with little or no advice. At least I try to help based on my experience and knowledge and aren't trying to criticize.
You, on the other hand, are giving silly "advice" and got called on one of those such posts.
What advice is silly? Every time I have to obtain my lawyer to go to court over my custody it costs me $1,500 - $3,000 to obtain him. My original response was to,
So another question of mine would be how much could I get a decent attorney for? In what price range?
. As far as I can tell he was asking how much it would cost to start the proceedings he didn't ask how much it would cost him in the long run, which no one can determine, but time.
 

CJane

Senior Member
As far as I can tell he was asking how much it would cost to start the proceedings he didn't ask how much it would cost him in the long run, which no one can determine, but time.
Usually, when someone asks that question, they want to know some magic number... as in "A custody battle in X state lasts for X months and costs Y amount."

So, a better answer would be... "No one can tell you what it will cost. There are too many variables. However, the retainer I paid to my attorney was $7000, and once that was used up, I was billed $150/hour. I'm up to around $12000 and the battle is not over."
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Usually, when someone asks that question, they want to know some magic number... as in "A custody battle in X state lasts for X months and costs Y amount."

So, a better answer would be... "No one can tell you what it will cost. There are too many variables. However, the retainer I paid to my attorney was $7000, and once that was used up, I was billed $150/hour. I'm up to around $12000 and the battle is not over."
Absolutely agree with CJane.
 

tater_tot

Member
Whether or not my posts are silly to you is a matter of opinion. Also, I don't think I am the only one on this forum in a custody battle and yet trying to help someone else.
So, a better answer would be... "No one can tell you what it will cost. There are too many variables. However, the retainer I paid to my attorney was $7000, and once that was used up, I was billed $150/hour. I'm up to around $12000 and the battle is not over."
People can get criticism from anywhere they come here for help, advice, life experience and sometimes just somewhere to vent. Try helping instead of following peoples posts in order to criticize only.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
Whether or not my posts are silly to you is a matter of opinion.
I was trying to take the sting out by calling them "silly." You're right -- they're not silly, your posts are sometimes stupid, other times merely uninformed.

tater_tot said:
Also, I don't think I am the only one on this forum in a custody battle and yet trying to help someone else.
Two wrongs don't make a right. If you don't know, sit back and learn. Same for all the others in your situation.

tater_tot said:
People can get criticism from anywhere they come here for help, advice, life experience and sometimes just somewhere to vent.
FA is not for venting. It's for legal info. Feel free to review: FA is not for venting. It's for legal info.

tater_tot said:
Try helping instead of following peoples posts in order to criticize only.
Now you're a mind reader, too? How do you know why someone reads posts? :rolleyes: How about you try reading till you learn something worth typing.
 

ceara19

Senior Member
Whether or not my posts are silly to you is a matter of opinion. Also, I don't think I am the only one on this forum in a custody battle and yet trying to help someone else. People can get criticism from anywhere they come here for help, advice, life experience and sometimes just somewhere to vent. Try helping instead of following peoples posts in order to criticize only.
Try not post incorrect information so that no one will be able to criticize you.
 

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