Justice System does NOT protect the children!!!

[panther10758]

Because your Ex has an Attorney he is able to stall the system. The justice system has not failed! Laws are written to protect all parties and Attorneys know how to use this to thier clients advantage. It may be sad but its there. Protection protect all with no bias! Now your ex should be paying and takin gof his license etc helps. Its a time comsuming and expensive process! Your focus should be on your children and your NEW life. You should NOT let this run or ruin your life! Stay the course and sooner or later he will have to pay! I would NOT be crying how you cannot care for the children because of lack of funds otherwise he will have grounds for custody. It may sound sad but just hang in there and do your best. I know what your dealing with I have three children with my ex and she doesnt pay court ordered support either and even found a way to not pay legally! My focus is where it should be caring for my children and not dwelling on EX that si what you should do! Let the system do what it has to but in meantime just be a good parent

 

[peanuttt118]

Because your Ex has an Attorney he is able to stall the system. The justice system has not failed! Laws are written to protect all parties and Attorneys know how to use this to thier clients advantage. It may be sad but its there. Protection protect all with no bias! Now your ex should be paying and takin gof his license etc helps. Its a time comsuming and expensive process! Your focus should be on your children and your NEW life. You should NOT let this run or ruin your life! Stay the course and sooner or later he will have to pay! I would NOT be crying how you cannot care for the children because of lack of funds otherwise he will have grounds for custody. It may sound sad but just hang in there and do your best. I know what your dealing with I have three children with my ex and she doesnt pay court ordered support either and even found a way to not pay legally! My focus is where it should be caring for my children and not dwelling on EX that si what you should do! Let the system do what it has to but in meantime just be a good parent

At least your response makes good sense. Of course I focus on my children - nobody can believe how stable and well rounded they are - despite all they have lived through - I am 100% devoted to my children and my entire life revolves around them. It would be easy to be obsessed with all of the court stuff if I weren't so involved in their lives. I just wanted to post when I found this forum to see if anybody had any other suggestions other than what I've been doing - sitting and praying and waiting. I appreciate your thoughts and suggestions. It really is sad, but I still believe it's the justice system that has failed by allowing my EX to abuse the system.

what do you mean your ex found a way to not pay legally?? That's a story I want to hear about!

 

[LdiJ]

Look hon, what people are trying to make you realize is that you are never going to win this one. Its sad, but its true.

A parent who is truly determined NOT to pay child support....and is willing to give up a good career to work under the table (probably for a fraction of what he could earn)..therefore ruining his own life is someone from whom you are never going to be able to collect.

Even the most vigilant of CS caseworkers is not going to be able to make this man pay. He can lose his license...maybe even permanently, he can even be sent to jail. However, unless he has a paycheck that can be garnished or assets that can be seized, you aren't going to see squat.

Now...it appears that there is some escrowed money that could be attached....you should certainly continue to push to get your hands on that money. Other than that you really need to stop throwing good money after bad. If you are a "squeeky wheel" the CSE will continue to do that for you without you paying big bucks for an attorney. Or you could even represent yourself in court without paying big bucks for an attorney.

Its time to realize that you can't count on anyone but yourself to support your children and to consider any money that you may be able to collect from him to be a bonus. Its also time to give your mother a financial break.

Take comfort in one thing.....your ex is likely to end up being a very poor and lonely old man.

 

[peanuttt118]

Look hon, what people are trying to make you realize is that you are never going to win this one. Its sad, but its true.

If you are a "squeeky wheel" the CSE will continue to do that for you without you paying big bucks for an attorney. Or you could even represent yourself in court without paying big bucks for an attorney.

The sad part is that it's not about me - it's about my children losing much more than money. I have come to that realization that I won't "win" (although it's not about winning and losing to me, it's about fairness and trust and justice, but they don't exist anymore in our system) - that is my whole point, I suppose - that it's frustruating that the justice system is unable to uphold the laws that are in place - the money is sitting right there and yet my private attorneys (working pro-bono) have had to "hold the hand" of the CSE attorney to walk him through what he should be filing, because he is lazy and didn't want to do anything that required work - my attorneys are working completely pro-bono at this point - at their insistence - because they cannot believe how CSE and the court system has run us through "the mill".

I used to believe in the "Squeaky Wheel" concept, until I came up against CSE - and all that has got me is the useless attorney at CSE had his ego bent out of shape because the Governor called him personally to ask him why the support wasn't being enforced - so he's playing "GOD" and has intentionally cancelled the contempt hearings 3 times - yes, it is a true bureaucracy and we are all at the mercy of it -

Thanks!

 

[45Frank]

You're welcome.



The enforcement folks are few and overworked. That's a matter of taxes. Want to pay more taxes? Want everyone to pay more taxes? So that they can find ONE GUY who will continue to refuse to support his kids? That's unrealistic. So, yeah...grow up.

This is a copout if the Judges who are lawyers and the Child enforcement who are mostly appointed hacks would do their JOBS and take the matter seriousely there wouldn't be half the back log. Yes there will always be those who will not pay, because they can get away with it.
And the fact is Judges (Lawyers) keep these cases going on purpose to show that they are needed.
I've been thru as much or more then the origional poster and my 9 year old daughter knows right from wrong better then the Judge I've been in front of.
Good Day.

 

[moburkes]

Maybe I'm missing something. There are hundreds of thousands of deadbeat NCPs. What can the judge DO to make those NCP's pay?

Put them in jail?
Suspend their license?

I don't understand.

 

[45Frank]

Maybe I'm missing something. There are hundreds of thousands of deadbeat NCPs. What can the judge DO to make those NCP's pay?

Put them in jail?
Suspend their license?

I don't understand.

Well then what's the purpose of the CS system? To suggest those of us who are owed money can't take care of our kids is crazy.
I said there are those who just won't pay, yet if you ever went thru the system you would know how flawed it is. I am male and the X owes $15,000.00 or more and she walks in & out of court like she owns it. Once telling the judge she wasn't paying and walked out. Maybe putting her in Jail for a while would wake some of these people up, I'm sure it won't work for all. Everytime her licence has been suspended she has everytime got them reinstated somehow, so thats useless.
I now live in the Carolina's and I know a few people who feer not paying. In NJ where my case is they just don't care.
Good Day.

 

[moburkes]

The judges, though, don't make the laws. Are there laws in your state that the judge can put them in jail or suspend their license?

 

[nextwife]

Well then what's the purpose of the CS system? To suggest those of us who are owed money can't take care of our kids is crazy.
I said there are those who just won't pay, yet if you ever went thru the system you would know how flawed it is. I am male and the X owes $15,000.00 or more and she walks in & out of court like she owns it. Once telling the judge she wasn't paying and walked out. Maybe putting her in Jail for a while would wake some of these people up, I'm sure it won't work for all. Everytime her licence has been suspended she has everytime got them reinstated somehow, so thats useless.
I now live in the Carolina's and I know a few people who feer not paying. In NJ where my case is they just don't care.
Good Day.

License suspension? People DO drive, unfortunately, with suspended license. Additionally, if you live in a "walk to everything community AND have a SO who drives, the license suspension will have minimal impact

Jail? Say it's a single mom who is also a NCP that isn'y paying. If they jail her, THE TAXPAYERS will not only end up supporting her while in jail, they end up paying for foster care for their other kids. Also, many jails are oevrcrowded and discretionary decisions must be made about who to keep jailed and who to let out. If you've got 10 guys in jail, and room for 8, it will likely be the non-paying CS obligor and NOT the drug dealer, child molester, assessory to murder, breaking and entering, assault with a deadly weapon charges that will be allowed out. Because the non-paying NCP is the one least likely to be later implicated in a different crime against someone else- coming back to haunt the legal official that bounced the dangerous guy in the firts place. And don't tell me that if YOU ran an overcrowdedhjail and needed to decide WHO should occupy needed space in a jail cel - and at taxpayer expense- you wouldn't also choose to bounce those charged with crimes that are LEAST dangerous to the OVERALL community..

 

[Silverplum]

This is a copout if the Judges who are lawyers and the Child enforcement who are mostly appointed hacks would do their JOBS and take the matter seriousely there wouldn't be half the back log. Yes there will always be those who will not pay, because they can get away with it.
And the fact is Judges (Lawyers) keep these cases going on purpose to show that they are needed.
I've been thru as much or more then the origional poster and my 9 year old daughter knows right from wrong better then the Judge I've been in front of.
Good Day.

Ah, good to know the Idiot Brigade is keeping the thread alive!

 

[AHA]

What a great country we live in!

It's the people who live in the countries that make the countries what they are, so if the US is so bad, you need to look in the mirror and take responsibility for what powers you have voted for to create "the systems".

 

[moburkes]

It's the people who live in the countries that make the countries what they are, so if the US is so bad, you need to look in the mirror and take responsibility for what powers you have voted for to create "the systems".

Well said.

 

[AHA]

I was a stay at home mom for years while I was married to the abusive alcoholic who beat me and my children

Since you decided that was an environment you saw fit for your kids, you really shouldn't b*tch on the system for not working as a collection agency. Pot, meet kettle!!!

 

[Silverplum]

Now, AHA, don't baffle OP with logic. You can see that she has none, just a big, gaping hole where her brain should be!

 

[AHA]

Now, AHA, don't baffle OP with logic. You can see that she has none, just a big, gaping hole where her brain should be!

Either way, that gaping hole needs to be quiet since she is/was a big part of pain and problems in her kids life. And if she doesn't like the US, there are plenty of other countries she can move to.