"Scare tactics"?

[ProSeDadinMD]

What is the name of your state? MD

Since I haven’t gotten a response to my third request, which included the statements that:

“You have not provided me with the information that I have twice requested with regards to a valid reason for ****** and I to lose our midweek visitation”

and

“Once you have forwarded this information to me, I will reconsider a change from the current overnight schedule”

and

“Again, if you have such evidence, please allow me review it so that we may both make an informed decision regarding what is in ******’s best interest”

I sent an email yesterday, as we are on somewhat of a “schedule” here:

********,
I am sending this to ask if we are still attempting to reach a reasonable agreement regarding visitation, or is that contingent on my acceptance of the removal of Wednesday overnights? If that is the case, I would suggest that we simply allow the court to make this decision.
Since you are seemingly not willing to communicate with me, should I forward this to Mr. ******?
As I have stated, I am willing to work out a reasonable agreement regarding this matter. Please give a response one way or the other.
**** *********

I know from “read receipt” that this was read at 5:03pm yesterday.

This was sent at 1:47am this morning

Dear Mr. *********:

Attached please find Notice of Deposition of ***** ****** scheduled for March 30, 2007 @ 9:30 a.m. in Rockville, MD. She will receive notice by subpoena.

******* ******

The person to be deposed is my girlfriend. As I am Pro Se, I will be present also.

It seems to me to be an attempt to make me back off, so to speak. Any thoughts?

 

[Ohiogal]

depositions happen

 

[texgirl]

What is the name of your state? MD

It seems to me to be an attempt to make me back off, so to speak. Any thoughts?

I don't know how often you've been to court, but much of the stuff you post about seems to be routine, based upon my own experience. The language of pleadings is often hyperbolic and legal procedure requires that parties involved are adversaries. It doesn't mean your ex-wife and her lawyer are evil and threatening and intimidating you.

My ex once filed contempt charges because I failed to send him a school calender (I sent him the link to the school website instead). His lawyer described it as "a purposeful attempt to alienate X from the child by denying his access to important educational information." Go figure.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Ohiogirl, I am aware that they happen, but as my gf has nothing but secondhand knowledge about the meat of the case(that Wednesday overnights s/b removed due to an “adverse impact” on my daughters homework and schoolwork, as pretty much the rest I am willing to work out), I am a little surprised by this.

Texgirl, while this may be routine to you, that is simply not the case for me. The last action that we had started similarly. I filed contempt against …her …, but we were able to work things out before we got to this point. We ended up switching 2 short weeknight visits for the one weeknight overnight, simply because she was unwilling to drive for p/u and d/o. I was Pro Se then, too.

Out of curiousity, wouldn’t the deadline for depositions be the same as for discovery?

Also, as a side question, wouldn’t …her … lack of response with regards to something that is supposedly having a detrimental effect on our daughter, who we share legal custody of, be considered a contemptible act, or possibly parental interference?

 

[texgirl]

Texgirl, while this may be routine to you, that is simply not the case for me. The last action that we had started similarly. I filed contempt against …her …, but we were able to work things out before we got to this point. We ended up switching 2 short weeknight visits for the one weeknight overnight, simply because she was unwilling to drive for p/u and d/o. I was Pro Se then, too.

Out of curiousity, wouldn’t the deadline for depositions be the same as for discovery?

Also, as a side question, wouldn’t …her … lack of response with regards to something that is supposedly having a detrimental effect on our daughter, who we share legal custody of, be considered a contemptible act, or possibly parental interference?

By "routine," I meant that this is the norm for legal actions not necessarily that you've been through it before. If you can't work things out between you or in mediation and go to court, you have to deal with the exaggerated language of proceedings, seemingly unnecessary actions like depositions, and delays in responses. In my cases, when ex had 20 days to respond, he responded on day 19, when he had 60, he responded on 59. It is the nature of the game. Did I think that in the interest of our child, he should respond sooner, of course I did! Did he have to? No.

If you plan on going pro se long term, I think you might want to look into taking a paralegal course or start an intensive reading program on legal procedure.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Correct me if I'm wrong...

.... but would not a refusal to supply documentation that affects Little Miss Pro Se’s education(such as whatever …she … is basing her claim about my weeknight overnight having an adverse affect on home and schoolwork on), especially after I have made multiple direct requests so that we can come to a reasonable agreement, be considered “parental interference”?

And throw in statements made via email such as

So long as she lives primarily with me, I will make sure the education part is taken care of.

, and

I have already explained my position on her homework numerous times. …. I do not want you to help her w/ her homework at daycare.

Sounds like that to me. But what do I know, I’m just Pro Se…

 

[fairisfair]

.... but would not a refusal to supply documentation that affects Little Miss Pro Se’s education(such as whatever …she … is basing her claim about my weeknight overnight having an adverse affect on home and schoolwork on), especially after I have made multiple direct requests so that we can come to a reasonable agreement, be considered “parental interference”?

And throw in statements made via email such as , and
Sounds like that to me. But what do I know, I’m just Pro Se…

she will be required to prove that allegation in court, since it is what she is basing her request on. Her lack of providing it to you would most likely be considered a failure to co parent if anything. It is not parental interference. It is mom being a biatch.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

she will be required to prove that allegation in court, since it is what she is basing her request on. Her lack of providing it to you would most likely be considered a failure to co parent if anything. It is not parental interference. It is mom being a biatch.

Is that true even though we share "Joint Legal Custody"?

From People-Law.org's Maryland Overview:

Joint Legal custody is where the parents share care and control of the upbringing of the child, but the child has only one primary residence.

and

The court looks very closely at Joint Custody agreements. The most important factor to Joint Legal Custody to Shared Physical Custody is the ability of the parents to talk about and reach joint decisions that affect the child's welfare. If you are constantly fighting over what religion or what school, the court may strike down your agreement.

That seems like an awfully fine line...

 

[fairisfair]

Is that true even though we share "Joint Legal Custody"?

From People-Law.org's Maryland Overview:
and

That seems like an awfully fine line...

You are expected to make joint decisions on major events in your child's life, that doesn't mean that mom is required to give you documentation of the fact that she thinks that the kid's homework is affected, should she, of course she should, but it is not as if she had made effort to prevent the school from allowing you access to your child's records, that would be interference.

 

[texgirl]

Is that true even though we share "Joint Legal Custody"?

From People-Law.org's Maryland Overview:
and

That seems like an awfully fine line...

You know, you two really have to think about this from a judge's perspective. They hear horrible cases of neglect and abuse and of parents who don't pay support for years and then you guys waltz in squabbling about whether a Wedneday night visit is effecting the kid's homework. (The child is how old?) If mom is paying a lawyer to pursue this, she's crazy. But by the same token, it looks equally ridiculous to start claiming "parental alienation" or "parential interference" about this kind of stuff. If mom is trying to change what is now in place, the burden is hers and it is a pretty big burden.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

You know, you two really have to think about this from a judge's perspective. They hear horrible cases of neglect and abuse and of parents who don't pay support for years and then you guys waltz in squabbling about whether a Wedneday night visit is effecting the kid's homework. (The child is how old?) If mom is paying a lawyer to pursue this, she's crazy. But by the same token, it looks equally ridiculous to start claiming "parental alienation" or "parential interference" about this kind of stuff. If mom is trying to change what is now in place, the burden is hers and it is a pretty big burden.

My daughter is 7, soon to be 8.

I agree that the burden is hers to prove. I just want to make sure that all my bases are covered.

My point about interference is that ...she...would like me to make a decision greatly affecting my daughter, and yet does not want me to have the information to do so intelligently.

 

[fairisfair]

My daughter is 7, soon to be 8.

I agree that the burden is hers to prove. I just want to make sure that all my bases are covered.

My point about interference is that ...she...would like me to make a decision greatly affecting my daughter, and yet does not want me to have the information to do so intelligently.

she will give that information to the court her not giving it to you in advance is just postponing the inevitable. uh, maybe there is no evidence??? ya think???

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

..... uh, maybe there is no evidence??? ya think???

Not a doubt in my mind.

As I said in my original post, that's why I told her:

I would suggest that we simply allow the court to make this decision.

That, I believe, is what prompted the middle of the night email from ...her ... lawyer(do you think he's charging extra for that? ). An attempt at "scare tactics". Like I said, my GF has no evidence on this point one way or the other...

 

[fairisfair]

Not a doubt in my mind.

As I said in my original post, that's why I told her:


That, I believe, is what prompted the middle of the night email from ...her ... lawyer(do you think he's charging extra for that? ).

hmmmm that sounds . . . . . . well cozy to say the least.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? MD

Since I haven’t gotten a response to my third request, which included the statements that:
and
and

I sent an email yesterday, as we are on somewhat of a “schedule” here:

I know from “read receipt” that this was read at 5:03pm yesterday.

This was sent at 1:47am this morning




The person to be deposed is my girlfriend. As I am Pro Se, I will be present also.

It seems to me to be an attempt to make me back off, so to speak. Any thoughts?

Depositions can be scare tactics, yes. It's their chance to interrogate your g/f without a judge telling them to focus & knock it off. lol Just tell her to answer the questions truthfully & remain calm. That in of itself, will drive...her ...batty. Why they would even BOTHER to depose your g/f is beyond me. Of course she's going to say the same thing you say...what a waste of time & money.

I certainly HOPE you have filed those emails you quoted re; her not wanting you to do homework w/your daughter, and ....her ...dealing with education. That is SO CONTRARY to what she is alleging. That's her providing her own evidence against herself.

What a piece of work....she ....is. Now I know why you refer to her 'that' way.