I want to streamline the process...

[ProSeDadinMD]

What is the name of your state? MD

We are currently scheduled for a 3 hour "trial" on Tuesday, 4/3/07. Since my motion was dismissed, I am going on the presumption that ...her ... motion is mostly what we shall be dealing with.

Here are ...her ... points

1. that we are little Miss Pro Se's parents.

A given.

2. That the court entered our consent agreement in '02, "pursuent to which" we agreed to allow me the "minimum number of overnights neccesary to establish shared custody in order to reduce Defendants legal obligation for" CS.

The most recent agreement was put into place due to a failure on her part to alternate pick-up and drop off(and which contempt proceedings were initiated on). Also, there is no mention anywhere of reducing the "legal obligation" for CS

3. That I have not "in fact, utilized all of his custody and visitation days in order to avoid having to pay his share of employment-related child care. Instead the child has been in the care of her maternal grandmother in New Mexico for 30 days during the summer. As a result,the defendant has the financial benefit of reduced obligation for child support without having to actually care for the child himself."

Not sure of the relevence, but ...she ... pays for daycare(which was provided for in our last consent order), and I don't recall ever being offered a "refund" while our daughter was at her "maternal grandmother"'s house.

4.That our prior agreement providing midweek overnights is "proving unworkable because of the adverse impact" on schoolwork, and having the "routine" interupted by these visits is "interfereing with her homework activities, which are closely supervised by her mother". She wants these to be eliminated.

This, to me, is the meat of the matter. I have school records on my side, and I have no clue what ...she ... might say.

5.That weekends are fine because no homework is given.

Ok, a given

6.That I "refuses to accomplish his visitation" on any Wednesdays that my daughter is sick, thereby forceing ...her ...to use up all her leave.

I rarely even get informed that Little Miss Pro Se is sick untill after the fact, but I think this is irrelevent as our current agreement states that my "visitation" does not start untill I pick Little Miss Pro Se up from daycare on Wednesday evening, and that I return her when "daycare begins on Thursday morning". That being said, I have stayed home with her.

7.That I have "historically been able to get all the time he wanted for birthdays, Fathers Day, and the like", and that my recent "demand for vacation is disingenuous", and that I just want to have my daughter live at my house and "have his current girlfriend care for her, and further reduce his obligation to pay support". And also, that the reason that I do take vacations in the spring and fall is in order to take advantage of "off-peak, low fare periods of travel."

My thought is irrelevant

8.That I should be "permitted to have vacation periods every summer"..."but not so she can live at his house and be cared for by a stranger". I should take "real vacations" wih my daughter, such as "taking her to the beach, to visit relatives, or on other outings."

Ok, vacations should be awarded. We agree here.

9.that I should be "provided 30 days vacation time" during school breaks every year, and that the "should be based on one week each in alternating years for Christmas and Spring breaks, as well as 3 weeks in the summer, and alternating years for Thanksgiving". Also, that the plaintinff would have "weekend visitation" during 2 of the 4 weeks "unless he actually goes out of town" during "his vacation period."

Not much of a proposal, and I've offered a counter offer, but again, in principal at least, we agree that holidays should be agreed on.

10. ...Her ..."proposed visitation schedule would provide up to 4 weeks of overnights for vacation time, but would theoretically reduce" the total # of overnights "by elimination of the Wednesday overnight visitation. In practice, the actual number of overnights under Plaintiffs plan would be about the same"

The effect of the change proposed by ...her ...would result in the loss of 22 nights with my daughter. this is the equivilent of just over 17%. A 17% change is in no way a numerically insignificant number.

11. "Since the number of overnights" would be(...she ...states is) "less than the minimum required to support an order for shared physical custody, the parties should revert to" joint legal custody, and primary physical custody being ...hers ...

Ok, I disagree, but this dovetails into #4 above.

12. That we should recalculate the CS.

Again, ok, I agree.

Am I correct that #4 is the only one that we are really going to have to deal with? Like I said, I've already made a proposal and given it to both ...her ... and her attorney. I'll also be bringing a copy of it to court. There was no schedule with her motion other than what you read above.

How do I go about bringing this up in court?What is the name of your state?

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

New twist...

Now, ...her... lawyer has left a message on the gf's cellphone voicemail telling her that he expects to see her tomorrow at 9:30am for the deposition. My gf called him and spoke with him 10 days or so ago, and called again on Monday of this week and spoke with his assistant(both were before she was served with the papers), telling him that she wouldn't be able to make it, and left a message on his voicemail yesterday, after being served.

I know that she has no intention of going, as she explained to him, because she just started a new job and can't really schedule time off at the drop of a hat(it's retail after all).

Any thoughts?

 

[acmb05]

Now, ...her... lawyer has left a message on the gf's cellphone voicemail telling her that he expects to see her tomorrow at 9:30am for the deposition. My gf called him and spoke with him 10 days or so ago, and called again on Monday of this week and spoke with his assistant(both were before she was served with the papers), telling him that she wouldn't be able to make it, and left a message on his voicemail yesterday, after being served.

I know that she has no intention of going, as she explained to him, because she just started a new job and can't really schedule time off at the drop of a hat(it's retail after all).

Any thoughts?

Only one suggestion from me, Your GF better show up or it could cause you problems. She was served and has no choice in this.

They probably planned it that way just because she said she could not make it.

 

[CJane]

Was she served with a subpeona for the deposition, or just papers from the attorney asking her to appear? There's a HUGE difference.

Other than that... and she CAN be held in contempt for not appearing if there was a subpeona issued... AND, if it's a subpeona, it's likely she can't be penalized for missing work, which is probably why they issued one (if, in fact they did)... kind of a courtesy.

Other than that... I think you need to be prepared for anything in court.

In my state, it's REQUIRED that a parenting plan be submitted w/ any motions to modify, that's not the case in your state?

 

[stealth2]

Now, ...her... lawyer has left a message on the gf's cellphone voicemail telling her that he expects to see her tomorrow at 9:30am for the deposition. My gf called him and spoke with him 10 days or so ago, and called again on Monday of this week and spoke with his assistant(both were before she was served with the papers), telling him that she wouldn't be able to make it, and left a message on his voicemail yesterday, after being served.

I know that she has no intention of going, as she explained to him, because she just started a new job and can't really schedule time off at the drop of a hat(it's retail after all).

Any thoughts?

I have thoughts! You/your g/f were made aware of the deposition date roughly two weeks ago, and presumably she was served with the subpoena shortly thereafter. Having some familiarity with how retail works, that was ample time to (a) ask the manager in charge of scheduling to rearrange her hours to comply with the subpoena or (b) find a coworker to either switch or cover the required hours. We can do this on a day's notice - two weeks (plus or minus) is a snap. So that's simply not an excuse. I've had new employees catch bugs within days of starting, etc - we work with them. A subpoena would be a no-brainer for us to work it out.

Your gf needs to be there. If her lack of planning causes her her job, the two of you have no one to blame but yourselves.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

I have thoughts! You/your g/f were made aware of the deposition date roughly two weeks ago, and presumably she was served with the subpoena shortly thereafter. Having some familiarity with how retail works, that was ample time to (a) ask the manager in charge of scheduling to rearrange her hours to comply with the subpoena or (b) find a coworker to either switch or cover the required hours. We can do this on a day's notice - two weeks (plus or minus) is a snap. So that's simply not an excuse. I've had new employees catch bugs within days of starting, etc - we work with them. A subpoena would be a no-brainer for us to work it out.

Your gf needs to be there. If her lack of planning causes her her job, the two of you have no one to blame but yourselves.

Actually, she was served with the papers on Wednesday 3/28/07. She has attempted to reschedule the deposition on 3 different occasions(see post above), and been told by the lawyer that he really needed her for the trial instead of the depo.

SO glad you have an answer to this now, rather than when I posted this question before...

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=358278

 

[casa]

Now, ...her... lawyer has left a message on the gf's cellphone voicemail telling her that he expects to see her tomorrow at 9:30am for the deposition. My gf called him and spoke with him 10 days or so ago, and called again on Monday of this week and spoke with his assistant(both were before she was served with the papers), telling him that she wouldn't be able to make it, and left a message on his voicemail yesterday, after being served.

I know that she has no intention of going, as she explained to him, because she just started a new job and can't really schedule time off at the drop of a hat(it's retail after all).

Any thoughts?

The subpoena excuses g/f from work. She REALLY needs to show up. If she doesn't, it will look like she's avoiding something. Don't let this case twist on this issue...BOTH of you show up. YOU just need to hold your ground...and let the judge do the rest.

 

[Ohiogal]

Actually, she was served with the papers on Wednesday 3/28/07. She has attempted to reschedule the deposition on 3 different occasions(see post above), and been told by the lawyer that he really needed her for the trial instead of the depo.

SO glad you have an answer to this now, rather than when I posted this question before...

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=358278

You are beginning to get annoying ProSeDad. She may have only been served on Wednesday but she KNEW it was coming. And a subpoena is a court order. She needs to follow it.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

Correct, we/she knew it was coming. The day that she received the initial "notice" in the mail, she called the lawyer to reschedule. He said at that time that he really needed her for court, and that that was more important.

Either way, neither of us were there this morning.

 

[fairisfair]

Correct, we/she knew it was coming. The day that she received the initial "notice" in the mail, she called the lawyer to reschedule. He said at that time that he really needed her for court, and that that was more important.

Either way, neither of us were there this morning.

Not a good move Dad. You both should have been there. Even if she had nothing to say. I can think of little else that would be more important than doing every thing to the letter at this point.

 

[jbowman]

Im confused as to why gf is so adamant about NOT going. It seems youre making your already complicated case even worse on purpose.

And regarding your statement trying to admonish someone for not answering earlier,

SO glad you have an answer to this now, rather than when I posted this question before...

I think that is pretty lame. You have received TREMENDOUS help from the minds on this site. I find it pretty offensive that you would have an attitude like that. I mean, come on, youre Pro Se and Proud. Dont try to put it on others that you didnt follow the law.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

jbowman, you are correct that I have received an enormous amount of help from this site. I will admit to overreacting a little this morning.

 

[Ohiogal]

If she ignored the subpoena, the attorney can move for contempt of subpoena which is CONTEMPT which is punishable by fines and jail time and WILL require your girlfriend to show up for court and be in even more trouble than you would have thought.
The other thing is that it now looks like you and her have something to hide and are no cooperating with the legal process and are actually obstructing it. If the attorney can prove that you helped girlfriend and planned not to be there with you you could also be hauled in and found in contempt.

 

[ProSeDadinMD]

At no point in time did I suggest to my gf that she not attend. It was a decision that she made based on her own personal circumstance(new job, etc.). She did contact the lawyer after she received the letter(via cellphone, and we have record of an 6 minute conversation) and requested rescheduling. He stated that what he really needed her for was court, not the depo.

I just received this via email this morning.

I told Mr. ****** today that I have been looking at moving to Columbia, MD where I may be able to rent a 3BR house with a yard, have the girls in a better school and really ease my commute to DC. He told me to tell you about this because the situation may firm up quickly. My lease is up in May, so if this works out we would be moving by June 1st. I will be working on this over the weekend and if I am able to make the arrangements needed, I will inform the court on Tuesday that I plan to move to Columbia by the summer. The distance is less than 30 miles, so I don't think it affects my request for revising custody & visitation.

How does this change things?

 

[LdiJ]

I don't know that it would change things too much, if at all. There isn't alot of distance involved. You would need to negotiate transportation issues, like maybe meeting halfway, however I don't think its far enough to seriously effect anything.

However it wouldn't surprize me if this was the real motivation behind taking away your midweek visit.