need input

[Chelle0578]

you must live in a very very very small town, or one where everybody gets along if the court is that open. I would have been happy to get into a courtroom in 6 months!!!

Wow, 6 months +, that sucks! Population is approx. 15,000...so small we are. Never looked at our population as a positive until now...thanks I needed a Monday Boost!

 

[faithnlve]

SO, Can I possibly win a change that if my job hours (rarely will happen) cause me to lose time with my kids, and as long as I give enough notice, and get the make up days ahead of time, that my ex will have to abide by that court rule? Faith

 

[CJane]

SO, Can I possibly win a change that if my job hours (rarely will happen) cause me to lose time with my kids, and as long as I give enough notice, and get the make up days ahead of time, that my ex will have to abide by that court rule? Faith

Faith, how old are the kids? One is 16... how old are the others? What's the disability? How old is the one with the disability?

Why can't the 16 year old keep the other kids? Perhaps with a neighbor to look in on them if she needs help with something?

You are not OBLIGATED to get the kids, but if there's ANY way at all that you can swing it, I think you should.

 

[faithnlve]

My sons disability is autism...he is 15. It is too much on my daughter, even for some adults when he lashes out when frustrated is difficult to control. He is at a very high level of care.

 

[LdiJ]

My sons disability is autism...he is 15. It is too much on my daughter, even for some adults when he lashes out when frustrated is difficult to control. He is at a very high level of care.

Then I think your only choice is to not get them....you have to keep your job. However, you could get them on Sunday and at least have them then.

 

[Chelle0578]

I agree, you could pick them up on Sunday and have at least a little time. I'd then also petition the courts to see if you can switch days if needed, due to employment...with some kind of reasonable notice of course. I have a brother with autism (his is high-functioning), and he gets himself stressed and worked up if he goes long with out seeing or talking to me. I could not imagine how it would be with a more severe case and not getting to see his mother. Do you only have them every other weekend? What about an evening during the week? That might be something to petition for as well. It sounds like getting a court date may take some time...but the longer you wait, the longer it will take to have more quality time with your children. Good Luck!

 

[faithnlve]

Well, my ex has decided not to give me any time this week, and if I work this weekend it is my problem. I did ask if I could have them on Sunday, (which I think was a good idea), he said you relinquish your time for the weekend, that will include sunday night. I did get a phone call back from my oldest daughter (16), and she said mom don't worry so much, I get my license in August and I will visit you alot. Guess I lose out this week seeing them, and have to wait until my next weekend. I thought about petitioning the courts, but having to work on my usual weekends with my kids is extremely rare. This weekend of course is mandated...Im stuck. Im sure as some of you know, it is a tormentful heartache being in a situation like this. My ex just got re-married and I guess he needs to prove something, I don't know. His new wife seems nice though, and she has been nice to me so far. Thanks for all the advice. Faith

 

[Chelle0578]

Well, my ex has decided not to give me any time this week, and if I work this weekend it is my problem. I did ask if I could have them on Sunday, (which I think was a good idea), he said you relinquish your time for the weekend, that will include sunday night. I did get a phone call back from my oldest daughter (16), and she said mom don't worry so much, I get my license in August and I will visit you alot. Guess I lose out this week seeing them, and have to wait until my next weekend. I thought about petitioning the courts, but having to work on my usual weekends with my kids is extremely rare. This weekend of course is mandated...Im stuck. Im sure as some of you know, it is a tormentful heartache being in a situation like this. My ex just got re-married and I guess he needs to prove something, I don't know. His new wife seems nice though, and she has been nice to me so far. Thanks for all the advice. Faith

If you tell your husband that you have to work Saturday and will be there Sunday morning (at 9:00am for example), to pick up your children...then he has to let you have your children. If not, he is in contempt and a judge would definately frown upon him not supporting a relationship with you and your children. It's your weekend, don't let him call the shots...new wife or not!

 

[stealth2]

If you tell your husband that you have to work Saturday and will be there Sunday morning (at 9:00am for example), to pick up your children...then he has to let you have your children. If not, he is in contempt and a judge would definately frown upon him not supporting a relationship with you and your children. It's your weekend, don't let him call the shots...new wife or not!

This really depends on what the order states.

 

[Chelle0578]

This really depends on what the order states.

True, Faith what does your order state? The way poster speaks it is not very defined, and usually when it only states visitation from one time to another...CP is expected to have children available during these times. As a judge once told myself (NCP) and CP...that is the responsibilty of being a CP.

 

[LdiJ]

Well, my ex has decided not to give me any time this week, and if I work this weekend it is my problem. I did ask if I could have them on Sunday, (which I think was a good idea), he said you relinquish your time for the weekend, that will include sunday night. I did get a phone call back from my oldest daughter (16), and she said mom don't worry so much, I get my license in August and I will visit you alot. Guess I lose out this week seeing them, and have to wait until my next weekend. I thought about petitioning the courts, but having to work on my usual weekends with my kids is extremely rare. This weekend of course is mandated...Im stuck. Im sure as some of you know, it is a tormentful heartache being in a situation like this. My ex just got re-married and I guess he needs to prove something, I don't know. His new wife seems nice though, and she has been nice to me so far. Thanks for all the advice. Faith

Your ex doesn't actually have the legal right to do that...or make that decision. You have the right to pick up the kids at any time during your visitation weekend. Dad doesn't have the right to deny you Sunday just because you have to work on Saturday.

 

[Chelle0578]

Your ex doesn't actually have the legal right to do that...or make that decision. You have the right to pick up the kids at any time during your visitation weekend. Dad doesn't have the right to deny you Sunday just because you have to work on Saturday.

That's exactly what I thought. I once heard a judge tell a CP (not my ex), that if the NCP was to have a child from Friday to Sunday, and couldn't be there on Friday, she was to still have to child availbale Saturday and Sunday...he stated that is the responsibilty of being a CP, and if she couldn't handle it...maybe the NCP could. A bit harsh...but CP's keeping NCP's from their children is BS! But, I'm sure their order was not defined, and poster has still not stated what her order reads.

 

[faithnlve]

My order states every friday after school until sunday night. He plans on taking the kids out of the area for the weekend and will not be home (he says) until sunday at dinner time. They are going to his new wife's parents house. I did remind him of the week he took the kids on a vacation to florida. I lost my wednesday, fri, sat and sunday with them. He never gave me any notice other than a phone message left late sunday night he and the kids were leaving the next morning for the whole week and following weekend (which was my weekend). The message he left was him laughing at me saying "Well, no visitation for you next weekend, I am taking it away from you, so see ya later loser!! I called his mother quite upset and she said he shouldn't leave messages like that, and that she would talk to him when he got back. This is a 40 year old man, go figure. He has also made statements to me, not the kids, that since he has custody that I have no rights as a mother like I used to, since he is the legal parent now. This is what I go through. I have taken him to court before on issues, and have brought up these problems to judge, and the judge did scold him, but my ex could care less what a judge says, it only angers him more, and causes him to taunt me more. I guess I have no choice but to wait until my weekend again. Thanks again all...... Faith

 

[LdiJ]

My order states every friday after school until sunday night. He plans on taking the kids out of the area for the weekend and will not be home (he says) until sunday at dinner time. They are going to his new wife's parents house. I did remind him of the week he took the kids on a vacation to florida. I lost my wednesday, fri, sat and sunday with them. He never gave me any notice other than a phone message left late sunday night he and the kids were leaving the next morning for the whole week and following weekend (which was my weekend). The message he left was him laughing at me saying "Well, no visitation for you next weekend, I am taking it away from you, so see ya later loser!! I called his mother quite upset and she said he shouldn't leave messages like that, and that she would talk to him when he got back. This is a 40 year old man, go figure. He has also made statements to me, not the kids, that since he has custody that I have no rights as a mother like I used to, since he is the legal parent now. This is what I go through. I have taken him to court before on issues, and have brought up these problems to judge, and the judge did scold him, but my ex could care less what a judge says, it only angers him more, and causes him to taunt me more. I guess I have no choice but to wait until my weekend again. Thanks again all...... Faith

Ok, if dad had plans to go out of town for the weekend, and now has to take the kids with him because you have to work on Saturday, then its reasonable that you won't be getting Sunday either....unless you want to drive to his new wife's parent's home to pick them up.

What do your orders say about vacations? He certainly went about his vacation all the wrong way, but he is entitled to have a vacation with the kids....and that doesn't necessarily mean that he has to give you makeup time. It depends on what your orders say.

 

[faithnlve]

Our order says nothing about vacations, other than summer vacations from school when I get certain weeks during the summer. He took the vacation without notifying me properly that my visitation would not happen the weekend I was suppose to have them.