Question about extracurriculars

[CJane]

What is the name of your state? MO

My 2nd grader brought home sign up forms for Brownies last night when I picked her up from Stupidhead. As Brownies happen on Monday nights, it's my decision whether or not to sign her up... I elected to do-so.

However, the sign up form has a place for each parent to sign. The paperwork indicates that the signature of both parents is required for that form, and also on the permission slip for field trips/camping.

Ex refuses to sign, saying it's 'not his problem' because it happens on MY days.

Now, it's possible no one will say anything and it won't be an issue. But if it IS, what can I do? Is this something that we'd actually end up in court over, or that I'd just have to tell Unruly that she can't participate in?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Take it with you to court next week. Amazing the compliance you can get in front of a judge! I know that you have current contempt charges at this time. His unwillingness to sign a permission slip will make him look realllllly stupid next week!

 

[Zephyr]

I would hand it in with your signature, and not worry about it until they say something

 

[profmum]

I would talk to the school and let them know that in the signing up of extracurricular's, if it is on the parent's day who is requesting it, he/she gets to make that decision (do you have an email from Stupidhead with his response?). If you have the email, you can show/give a copy to the school so Stupidhead can't scream" violation of joint decision making".

I think if you have some documentation that Stupidhead does not care and does not believe it is his purview to make that decision (as it is on your parenting day), you should be ok. Of course you can decide that she may not participate, but I suspect, this will be a pattern with Stupidhead on anything she wants, if it means, he can make it harder for you.. so maybe resolving the issue will help with other activities in the future.

 

[profmum]

Take it with you to court next week. Amazing the compliance you can get in front of a judge! I know that you have current contempt charges at this time. His unwillingness to sign a permission slip will make him look realllllly stupid next week!

Even better idea!!

 

[stealth2]

I've never had a problem with that sort of thing.

 

[haiku]

my kiddo has been a girl scout forever....LOL.... and her dad has never had to sign a thing....

 

[Ohiogal]

my kiddo has been a girl scout forever....LOL.... and her dad has never had to sign a thing....

Yet when my daughter was in girl scout's on her father's days, it was required that I sign everything he did or she would not be allowed to attend or do anything. Take it to court Cjane. Get an order for him to sign everything. Some girl scout troops are very overly cautious. Of course in my area, the GS are also very highly litigious. They sued a bunch of parents last year over girl scout cookie money -- several lawsuits (about 30 I think) that brought in about 10k.

 

[CJane]

Yet when my daughter was in girl scout's on her father's days, it was required that I sign everything he did or she would not be allowed to attend or do anything. Take it to court Cjane. Get an order for him to sign everything.

Is that something I can add to the motion that will be heard on Monday (the contempt)? Can I just request that he be told to sign it while we're there anyway?

It's ironic that one thing he stated in his motion to modify 2 years ago was that due to my move the children would not be able to participate in GS (which they'd never been involved in) and now that I'm back in the area and they CAN participate, he won't sign.

Some girl scout troops are very overly cautious. Of course in my area, the GS are also very highly litigious. They sued a bunch of parents last year over girl scout cookie money -- several lawsuits (about 30 I think) that brought in about 10k.

THank god I didn't sign up to be a cookie mom!

 

[wileybunch]

Oh, for the love of Pete. What a roadblock.
I don't have this issue b/c my ex has chosen to be a somewhat distant parent and he's never raised a fuss at all the activities the kids are involved in and I never sent forms to him (he lives in another state) to sign. What a pain in the rear.

Since you are going to court, I would bring it up in court. It's not in your motion for contempt and that's fine, but it's a little housekeeping issue that I would think the judge would not have a problem allowing you to take care of. It's not like you're just fishing for stuff to tie up time.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Cjane, can you get him to be dumb enough to send you a denial in writing?

 

[CJane]

Cjane, can you get him to be dumb enough to send you a denial in writing?

No. Due to restraining orders, we're only to communicate via CRR mail or phone. I don't have time between now and Monday to mail him a letter and wait for him to respond.

 

[MrsK]

Well, I would think it wouldnt be a problem, but I am sure it is in some areas. I mean what do they do for single moms/dads who dont have a 2nd parent, or if the 2nd parent is at war, etc?

But if it IS required, I'd see about it in court. Do you have the email where he refused to sign & said it was your problem?

 

[CJane]

Well, I would think it wouldnt be a problem, but I am sure it is in some areas. I mean what do they do for single moms/dads who dont have a 2nd parent, or if the 2nd parent is at war, etc?

The form reads this way:

"The child is under the care of:"

And then there are check boxes..

"Mother/Guardian" "Father/Guardian" "Other/Guardian (specify)" "Both Mother and Father"

I checked "Both Mother and Father" as we have joint-custody. I briefly considered checking "Mother/Guardian" since I have custody on MY days... but I felt like that was lying.

But if it IS required, I'd see about it in court. Do you have the email where he refused to sign & said it was your problem?

We're not allowed to use email. He won't respond to phone calls about the matter.

This is what transpired.

I went through Unruly's backpack and found the paperwork. I asked her if she wanted to join Brownies, or if she'd talked to her dad about it. She said "It's on your days mom, it's not his problem."

As I was filling out the paperwork, I said (not to anyone, just out loud) "Grrr, I need stupidhead's signature"

Unruly overheard and said "That's your problem too. He's not signing any stupid form to make your life easier."

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

TAKE the form with you to court. Once you are in front of the judge/referee (whatever they call them in your state), you can ask that an additional item be brought up. It really won't go well for stupidhead (man do I like that name.)

1. He signs it - okay, no drama.

2. He says, gee, all you had to do is ask. Here you'll document the number of times you requested.

3. He tells the referee that he won't sign it! Won't look good.