Follow-up post from TimeCruncher
As a new member of this forum, I don't know the protocol for posting. I am posting once again to address the questions you have raised since my second post, and to thank you for your help.
To CdwJava: Thank you for your second post. We will start researching states' anti-stalking laws and residency policies. It is encouraging to learn that federal authorities would at least monitor an abduction, even if state lines aren't crossed. We know it will be necessary for us to provide our teen's college security staff with verifiable information more detailed than should post on a public forum. Your comment that our teen will have no "special relationship" with college security is one we will emphasize to our teen. We want to do whatever we can, however, to maximize the chance that college security will respond quickly to an attempted or successful abduction.
The biggest obstacles we have encountered in prosecuting the stalker are: the stalker's use of private investigators, and the reluctance of potential witnesses to get involved in the situation because the stalker is our blood relative (not a stranger). Skilled investigators remain virtually unnoticed by us (but the unskilled ones are often obvious). We have found that most people who have reported being contacted, harassed, and even threatened by the stalker are subsequently reluctant to "take sides" in what they believe to be a "family squabble."
We think the stalker has attempted to abduct our child at least four times (two confirmed and two suspected). The first time was fifteen years ago, when a man identifying himself as a "special agent" talked his way into our apartment, past a neighbor who was pet-tending for us while we were on vacation. The "special agent" began asking our neighbor about us, then suddenly shoved her aside and began striding through our apartment, yelling, "Where's the kid?" The man then thrust a business card at our neighbor, told her, "Have them call me," and then left our apartment and the property. Our neighbor called the police, who cruised the neighborhood to see if the man was lurking around. When we returned from vacation, we checked out the "special agent," whose business card had a name, a local address, and two phone numbers. Both phone numbers were out-of-service, the address was a downtown parking lot, and none of the local, state, and federal agencies we called had an agent by the name of the man on the card. We suspect the "special agent" was a kidnapper.
The second time was five years later, when the stalker personally confronted school staff. However, that event enabled us to obtain our TRO, and then, a three-year RO against the stalker.
The third time was four years later. We received two hang-up calls several hours apart identified by Caller ID as having been placed from a motel located about two miles from our apartment building. After the second hang-up call, we suspected the stalker was in town, at the motel. We grabbed our child and went to our in-laws' house. The following day, our next-door neighbor told us that (about a half hour after we left our apartment the previous night) a group of people including a man and woman fitting the description of the stalker's in-laws who had harassed our property manager and (then-different) tenants four years earlier, two men who "looked like thugs," and one or two other people showed up at our building, banged on our apartment door, and yelled for us persistently until our property manager threatened to call the police. Our neighbor said the people left immediately, she heard car doors slamming, and then heard two cars speed away. We suspect that the "thugs" accompanying the stalker's in-laws were kidnappers.
The most recent attempt was five years ago, while our child was attending middle school. We received a phone call from our child, stating that s/he had been called out of class to see a CPS investigator who had come to the school. Our child was upset (but calm), and told us that the CPS investigator had promptly sent him/her back to class, but that the investigator was going to phone us for information. The investigator called minutes later, and stated that an accusation of severe child neglect against us had been reported to CPS the previous week. The investigator stated that she had come to the school prepared to take our child into custody, but after meeting with our child "for less than a minute," knew the report of child neglect was "baseless." The investigator wanted information, particularly concerning any personal enemies we might have. We told the investigator about the stalker (name, address, and physical description) and about our history with the stalker, including the details of events leading to the now-expired RO. The investigator--after a long pause--told us that the report against us would be dropped immediately, and stated, "CPS will not be used in this manner." The investigator said she was not permitted to reveal the report source's identity, but told us to "be careful," and advised us to contact our attorney because, "You might need another RO." We promptly contacted the school office, but school staff claimed to have no information about the CPS investigator's visit, and stated, "CPS comes here almost every day; we don't ask why." The next day, however, our child encountered the student assistant who had escorted our child from class to the room where the investigator had been waiting; the student assistant--a stranger to our child, and someone who knew nothing about the stalker--told our child that she had seen another person (who fit the stalker's physical description) standing and talking with the CPS investigator. We were convinced that the stalker made the fraudulent CPS report, and was present at the school that day, intending to abduct our child. Our attorney told us that it would be difficult for us to pursue another RO based upon this incident alone because CPS and the school were likely to be uncooperative, and because the only person acknowledging to have seen the stalker at school was a child not much older than our own. Years later, my spouse, our teen, and I still wonder what might have happened if the CPS investigator had been less experienced, cautious, and thorough.
Thank you again, CdwJava. You have been very helpful.
To xylene: Thank you for your post. Yes, this situation is complex (especially because the stalker is a blood relative, not a stranger), and yes, given the public nature of this forum, I must not provide too many details, even details forum members might find useful. I don't take offense at your skepticism; my spouse and I used to it. We have often encountered skepticism from security staff, police, and attorneys, especially during the years before states began passing anti-stalking laws. We know that few people are stalked, and even fewer are stalked by blood relatives, so we know our situation sounds crazy to most people, and we sound "crazy" to some people. Regardless, we sought our TRO for compelling reasons, and the RO was granted based upon evidence. We hope the RO, though long expired, will lend support to our teen's credibility with college campus police.
My spouse and I have already considered hiring our own private investigator, at least to obtain current photos of the stalker which we can provide to our teen and our teen's college. We have also discussed hiring an investigator just before our teen graduates from high school, and if the investigator confirms (or even suspects) that the stalker has traveled here and is in our area, we and our teen will bypass the graduation ceremony. We do plan to contact our teen's college in writing next summer or fall, with a detailed explanation and documentation of our situation. As you suggested, an accompanying letter from an attorney will bolster our credibility.
Regarding the stalker's motive: my spouse and I can only speculate. The motive isn't money, because neither the stalker nor any of the stalker's relatives is rich. The stalker is, however, a self-proclaimed childhood bully who became the sort of adult who relishes intimidating children and instigating dissension among adult relatives and friends. Over the past 35+ years, as the stalker has lost relatives and friends to death, geographic relocation, and estrangement, the stalker's conduct has become increasingly vindictive, particularly toward estranged relatives and their children, with whom the stalker claims to have a "right" to "a relationship." My spouse and I, and our child--now a teen--are among that group of estranged relatives. The stalker antagonizes and alienates those with whom s/he professes to want "a relationship," so it seems to us that what the stalker really wants is the thrill of the chase. The stalker simply enjoys stalking.
To Bruno: Thank you for your post. The stalker is intelligent, shrewd, and has usually been cautious about written communication. The stalker's most extreme and explicit threats against us and others--including the "professional" kidnapper threats--have always been made verbally, over the phone (occasionally face-to-face), and thus, are undocumented. The stalker knows we would bring written threats to the attention of authorities promptly, and arrest and criminal charges would result, as you have pointed out. We have been screening our incoming calls with an answering machine and Caller ID for many years, and we have been keeping a written log of incoming calls, as well. We have also, during times of frequent harassment hang-up calls, inquired about having a "trap" placed on our phone, but have been dissuaded from doing so.
To fairisfair: Thank you for your posts, although not made in direct response to mine. Your posts have prompted me to proofread and revise before posting.
Saudi Royalty?