Child threatened my stepdaughter at school

[JustAPal00]

Getting the police involved is going to change his life for the worse! He needs to be punished, but let the school do it!

 

[stealth2]

Getting the police involved is going to change his life for the worse! He needs to be punished, but let the school do it!

Which part of "the school's not doing jack" is hard for you to grasp, Pal?

 

[kik1999]

Which part of "the school's not doing jack" is hard for you to grasp, Pal?

Good Golly!!! Thank you stealth and OG! Ruining the kids life? Try keeping my child ALIVE! (sorry, not my child, I know - but still). I have NO idea of what this kid is capable of. What I do know that is even AFTER he got in trouble for threatening her life (by the school), he STILL mentioned bringing a gun. Obviously the school's discipline is not getting through to him b/c he is not fearing the consequences. Hopefully, the police will put in his head just how serious his threats are.

If a 9 year old's life is "ruined" by having a RO and the police talking to his parents, then you my friend, have no idea what true tragedy is. He's 9, he has a great chance of succeeding in his life IF he gets the help he needs. I am simply trying to keep my stepdaughter safe ~ he needs to face the consequences of his actions. And if she doesn't feel safe by being in the same classroom, I'm going to do every damn thing in my power to change that. God forbid her life be "ruined" b/c she couldn't effectively learn in school b/c she feared for her safety.

And they say that I over-react...

 

[kik1999]

What the boy said was wrong. But to ruin a 9 year olds life over a threat made while angry on a playground, is just as wrong. We had a similar incident, but the threatened weapon was a knife. We let the school handle it and now the kids are friends again.

Ok, so I understand your point of view...however, this child was NOT angry when he said these things, which just makes it that much creepier (is that a word? It is now.)

He was damn near taunting her about bringing the gun. I can't stress enough, the gun comment came after the threat - AFTER he was in trouble - SITTING NEXT TO THE TEACHER. He taunted her still. So basically he has NO respect for the school officials or their punishments.

Nice to know you let your kids hang out with other children who threaten people with knives. Let's hope your kids don't get that reputation, afterall, we are the company we keep!

And whatever consequences this boy faces are his own damn fault, not mine. I didn't threaten someone - he did. I'm just standing up for my kids, who can't stand up for themselves (legally).

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

In the not too recent past here in Florida, there was a group of children, aged 9-15 who were involved in a gang-rape of a woman and her child. Sorry, but I agree with OG. This child NEEDS help. This may be the wakeup call for these parents that their problems with this child isn't just in their home.

 

[CdwJava]

One of the teachers called my hubby on Friday afternoon to tell him a child in my stepdaughter's class threatened to "murder" her on the playground. She said the school sent the child home for the day, the principal was out, and upon the principal's return, they would decide the punishment and get back to my husband on their decision of how they were going to handle the situation.

This is the most common method of dealing with this. Frankly, schoolyard threats at this age level are not uncommon. It sounds as if the school has dealt with it as most do.

Hubby is taking child to the police tomorrow, realizing this SHOULD have been the very first thing he did. He called them, but did not bring child into make a statement.

I don't know about the law in OH, but in most states a child under the age of 14 is often considered incapable of committing a crime unless it can be proven that they knew their actions were both wrong and criminal. This can be a difficult hurdle for a 9 year old with what sounds like emotional issues. Not to mention the courts are going to be reluctant to file criminal charges for such a threat against a 9-year-old ... mine wouldn't, and I doubt yours will.

Should he ask for a restraining order from the city for his daughter, against this child? Is that asking too much or should a report just be filed?

A report should be sufficient - coupled with the school's suspension and documentation. A restraining order may not be practical, but he can certainly give it a try.

They don't believe this punishment is harsh enough.

Parents never do. Fortunately, the law does not allow angry parents to decide upon the punishment ... just as we do not allow angry victims to decide a punishment for the suspect.

The suspension and documentation is about all that can be expected at this point.

- Carl

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Put your step child in a different school. That seems to be the obvious solution. You will not have an easy time pressing any type of charges against a 9 year old. I'm sorry your step child had to deal with this, but be more pro-active and move her.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

why punish the victim and her parents? If anyone should move schools is the perpetrator!

 

[kik1999]

Thank you, Carl for your insight.

You know, I think the only reason why the police were involved is because it seems as if the school refused to entertain the thought of moving the boy away from my stepdaughter ~ well, and the nature of the threat as well.

I know it is very hard to tell about someone's parenting styles via an internet forum, but I can assure you that my hubby and his ex-wife don't necessarily over-react when it comes to situations about the kids (not saying the NEVER do, but more often than not they don't). Both my daughter and stepdaughter have HUGE immediate families (step siblings, half siblings, etc) and there is a lot of bickering/arguing b/t them, their friends, neighbors, etc. b/c of the age, and because they are kids. We tend to try to allow the kids to work it out themselves. But due to the nature and severity of what was said, all that was asked of the school was to remove the boy from her class, so she can focus on school, and not be distracted by this bully. Seeing as she is involved in an IEP and has been diagnosed with ADD, I would think that the school would understand his concern for the distraction. In addition, the threat of actually bringing a weapon to school is concerning and we definitely wanted it documented by the authorities. God forbid something happen down the road and someone say, "why the HELL didn't you notify anyone?" Thankfully, the police in our area believe we have done the right thing and are assisting in any way possible. (yea, small community with not much crime)

Since the authorities have paid a visit to the school (this morning), we are awaiting final decision from the school. If they still refuse to at least remove the kid from her class, we're going to the Board as suggested and lastly, the media. I don't believe our request is THAT outrageous, and again, what harm can be done by accomidating?

 

[CdwJava]

why punish the victim and her parents? If anyone should move schools is the perpetrator!

However, there is likely no legal authority to compel the perp and his family to move or even take the child out of school.

- Carl

 

[kik1999]

Put your step child in a different school. That seems to be the obvious solution. You will not have an easy time pressing any type of charges against a 9 year old. I'm sorry your step child had to deal with this, but be more pro-active and move her.

Trying to get away with the least amount of change for the stepdaughter. She's (finally) succeeding academically in her IEP after years of trying new meds, counseling, etc. I know we are being bull-headed, but you are right and it might be the only option we have. I hate to uproot my girls (my daughter as well) from their friends and the only elementary school they've ever attended, but we might very well have to do that if the school doesn't respond.

 

[CdwJava]

But due to the nature and severity of what was said, all that was asked of the school was to remove the boy from her class, so she can focus on school, and not be distracted by this bully.

You can ask, but that does not mean the school has to comply.

Understand that kids with problems make these kinds of threats every day ... usually they escalate between two parties where one threatens the other and they start working their way up from fists to bazookas.

In addition, the threat of actually bringing a weapon to school is concerning and we definitely wanted it documented by the authorities.

Which it apparently was - by the school. And, if a report to the police were made, it would also "document" the allegations. But, aside from school discipline, these kinds of threats usually do not rise to the level of a criminal allegation. In my state this would be a school matter and not one the police could do more than take a passing interest in. Certainly, it is likely we would document the incident and speak to the child, but there is nothing so immediate and unequivocal in the threat that would cause us to file a felony charge against the child ... and, then, there is the issue of the child's age and ability to understand the potential criminal nature of their threat.

Since the authorities have paid a visit to the school (this morning), we are awaiting final decision from the school. If they still refuse to at least remove the kid from her class, we're going to the Board as suggested and lastly, the media. I don't believe our request is THAT outrageous, and again, what harm can be done by accomidating?

Well, there may not be another class appropriate for that other child ... and if the child has an IEP, then that makes it all that much more difficult. Plus, if they moved every child who made such a threat, they might be bouncing kids every week.

- Carl