father left the country

[matchstick]

What is the name of your state?Ohio

Seems I'm having a lot of problems lately with ex's. I have a son that is four. His father was made to provide CS through the courts. Father had visitation but never once used it. His fathers new wife never liked the fact he paid me cs and has been trying very hard to stop it. He paid me 1000.00 a month and had to pay for all daycare and medical. He hasn't paid for any of my sons doctor bills this year and the doctors want me to pay now. That 1000.00 was going toward a mortgage and I don't make much. We very well could have to move. Well last month my CS wasn't deposited. Then again this month. I got an email a week ago from an anonymous person stating my sons father and his wife are in Mexico and I will never get another dime of support. I sent the mail to my caseworker and doing an investigation I discovered his employer said he quit a couple months ago and their home is empty now. His mom is saying she doesn't know where he is. And so is his brother. Which is a lie. Their home was easily worth 300 grand. So I know it would be easy to skip out. Is there any way to find them? Can he be made to come back?

Also this is NOT the same ex that I complained about in a harassment post I made last night.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state?Ohio

Seems I'm having a lot of problems lately with ex's. I have a son that is four. His father was made to provide CS through the courts. Father had visitation but never once used it. His fathers new wife never liked the fact he paid me cs and has been trying very hard to stop it. He paid me 1000.00 a month and had to pay for all daycare and medical. He hasn't paid for any of my sons doctor bills this year and the doctors want me to pay now. That 1000.00 was going toward a mortgage and I don't make much. We very well could have to move. Well last month my CS wasn't deposited. Then again this month. I got an email a week ago from an anonymous person stating my sons father and his wife are in Mexico and I will never get another dime of support. I sent the mail to my caseworker and doing an investigation I discovered his employer said he quit a couple months ago and their home is empty now. His mom is saying she doesn't know where he is. And so is his brother. Which is a lie. Their home was easily worth 300 grand. So I know it would be easy to skip out. Is there any way to find them? Can he be made to come back?

Also this is NOT the same ex that I complained about in a harassment post I made last night.

There's probably a half-dozen ways to find him, and he could be made to pay. You probably need to talk to your caseworker some more about this.

Mexico is a member of the Hague Convention, but I do not know if they work to honor your CS order.
http://www.hcch.net/upload/press20071025e.pdf

Maybe someone else knows?

 

[Accountable]

What is the name of your state?Ohio

He paid me 1000.00 a month and had to pay for all daycare and medical. He hasn't paid for any of my sons doctor bills this year and the doctors want me to pay now. That 1000.00 was going toward a mortgage and I don't make much. We very well could have to move.

I have to say it.....that 1000.00 is NOT suppose to pay your mortgage. It is suppose to reimburse you for HALF of the expenses of rearing your child. You are expected to provide your own roof over your head.

 

[escape2paradise]

I have to say it.....that 1000.00 is NOT suppose to pay your mortgage. It is suppose to reimburse you for HALF of the expenses of rearing your child. You are expected to provide your own roof over your head.

I can see your point, however, what difference does it make what funds she actually uses for housing. Obviously if she is using all the support to pay housing she is having to use her own funds to pay 100% of clothes, food, activities etc...Legally she can do whatever she wants with the money, morally well that is a whole other ball of wax!

 

[VeronicaLodge]

plus it goes to provide a roof over her childs head too!

 

[nextwife]

The housing cost of ADDING a child to mom's household is probably about, at most, 20% of the basic cost of the housing. The land value, the water lines, sewer lines, sidewalk and driveway paving costs the same whether one person or ten people live there, , foundation costs, cost of basic kitchen, bathroom fixtures, heating and ac units, roof, walls, etc. is only modestly impacted by upsizing the house to allow for an extra bedroom or a slightly larger kitchen. Mom's cost of having her own housing exists even if she's childless. So, while the child occupies mom's home, having that child there only proportionately changes the cost of the "improvements". The land value doesn't even change. So mom should clearly NOT be depending on the entire $1000.00 CS amount to cover her own housing.

 

[escape2paradise]

The housing cost of ADDING a child to mom's household is probably about, at most, 20% of the basic cost of the housing. The land value, the water lines, sewer lines, sidewalk and driveway paving costs the same whether one person or ten people live there, , foundation costs, cost of basic kitchen, bathroom fixtures, heating and ac units, roof, walls, etc. is only modestly impacted by upsizing the house to allow for an extra bedroom or a slightly larger kitchen. Mom's cost of having her own housing exists even if she's childless. So, while the child occupies mom's home, having that child there only proportionately changes the cost of the "improvements". The land value doesn't even change. So mom should clearly NOT be depending on the entire $1000.00 CS amount to cover her own housing.

Understood, and it is not very smart of OP to count on that money to pay her mortgage. My point was it doesn't matter what she puts the money towards when she gets it. If she is using it to pay housing then she is having to use all her own money to provide the other necessaties of raising a child. Legally, she can do whatever she wants with it. Heck she could go on a spa trip every month if she wanted.

I don't know about Ohio, but here in WA $1000 is a lot of cs for one child. I'm guessing that maybe dad makes pretty good money. If mom does not, it is not uncommon for courts to award more CS to attempt to provide the child with a lifestyle more in line of what it would be if mom and dad were together. If that were the case here mom would not be out of line upping the standard of living for the child. Is it fair? Is it right? Doesn't matter, it is legal.

 

[tone83]

Understood, and it is not very smart of OP to count on that money to pay her mortgage. My point was it doesn't matter what she puts the money towards when she gets it. If she is using it to pay housing then she is having to use all her own money to provide the other necessaties of raising a child. Legally, she can do whatever she wants with it. Heck she could go on a spa trip every month if she wanted.

I don't know about Ohio, but here in WA $1000 is a lot of cs for one child. I'm guessing that maybe dad makes pretty good money. If mom does not, it is not uncommon for courts to award more CS to attempt to provide the child with a lifestyle more in line of what it would be if mom and dad were together. If that were the case here mom would not be out of line upping the standard of living for the child. Is it fair? Is it right? Doesn't matter, it is legal.

Obviously ex thought cs was too much. What kid needs one grand a month? And maybe dad was tired of you using the money to pay your mortgage. You are getting 18 years of your mortgage payment paid off. And once your kid moves out YOU still live in the home. So in this case it's almost obvious the money is for your benefit.

 

[Accountable]

Understood, and it is not very smart of OP to count on that money to pay her mortgage. My point was it doesn't matter what she puts the money towards when she gets it. If she is using it to pay housing then she is having to use all her own money to provide the other necessaties of raising a child. Legally, she can do whatever she wants with it. Heck she could go on a spa trip every month if she wanted.

I don't know about Ohio, but here in WA $1000 is a lot of cs for one child. I'm guessing that maybe dad makes pretty good money. If mom does not, it is not uncommon for courts to award more CS to attempt to provide the child with a lifestyle more in line of what it would be if mom and dad were together. If that were the case here mom would not be out of line upping the standard of living for the child. Is it fair? Is it right? Doesn't matter, it is legal.

My point is that she should not be relying on child support to KEEP a roof over her OR her child's head. Even if he paid his child support like clockwork, he could be hit by a bus on his way home from work.....THEN where would she be? In my opinion, it is just neglectful as a parent to maintain a lifestyle that is completely dependent upon the timely receipt of child support. I did not, or at least did not mean to, imply that she was legally restricted from doing so.

In some states, support for 1 child is 20% of the NCP's income. That's only $50,000. Not exactly rolling in dough.

 

[escape2paradise]

My point is that she should not be relying on child support to KEEP a roof over her OR her child's head. Even if he paid his child support like clockwork, he could be hit by a bus on his way home from work.....THEN where would she be? In my opinion, it is just neglectful as a parent to maintain a lifestyle that is completely dependent upon the timely receipt of child support. I did not, or at least did not mean to, imply that she was legally restricted from doing so.

In some states, support for 1 child is 20% of the NCP's income. That's only $50,000. Not exactly rolling in dough.

I agree, not the best thing for OP to do. I personally would not. I have never paid much attention to CS amounts in other states. I almost feel sorry for NCP who have to pay 20%. I bet it looks terrible when trying to take out a loan and your debt to income ratio includes the CS

 

[penelope10]

Obviously ex thought cs was too much. What kid needs one grand a month? And maybe dad was tired of you using the money to pay your mortgage. You are getting 18 years of your mortgage payment paid off. And once your kid moves out YOU still live in the home. So in this case it's almost obvious the money is for your benefit.

Aren't you the same lovely poster who started the thread, "Can ncp get passport if in arrears?"
(Pretty interesting reading).

 

[escape2paradise]

Obviously ex thought cs was too much. What kid needs one grand a month? And maybe dad was tired of you using the money to pay your mortgage. You are getting 18 years of your mortgage payment paid off. And once your kid moves out YOU still live in the home. So in this case it's almost obvious the money is for your benefit.

I don't know who you think you are talking to. I am not the OP and I sure as heck don't get $1000 in CS. If I did I sure wouldn't count on my X to pay it. My shelter certainly would not depend on my X following through. That is definitely not one of his strong points.

 

[Silverplum]

Aren't you the same lovely poster who started the thread, "Can ncp get passport if in arrears?"
(Pretty interesting reading).

Yes, "she" is that poster. I reported her in this thread, because I thought she was merely being bitchy, but M put the post back.

 

[escape2paradise]

Yes, "she" is that poster. I reported her in this thread, because I thought she was merely being bitchy, but M put the post back.

I guess it is everybody else's fault that her hubby boinked some bimbo years ago and it came back to bite him in the tushy. Nobody should be held accountable for there own actions. Especially tone83's hubby, he's special and the rules don't apply to him.

I'm so tired of the victim mentality I could barf!

 

[penelope10]

I would suggest that no one reply to tone83--she has her own little agenda and it has nothing to do with the issue here