I'll try this again...

[SMinNJ]

What is the name of your state? NJ

I am asking questions at the request of my husband who is an NCP father with joint legal custody. I have reregistered with a new name, as CJane and others have suggested. I previously posted under the name NCPdad. I am starting fresh, and I apologize for the board specific faux pas' that I committed while using that name.

Currently, my husband's parenting time with his 13 year old daughter has been suspended. Dad is representing himself pro se. A GAL has been assigned to his daughter. Psychological evaluations are to be done on both dad and his daughter.

He has a few questions.

1. Is it required for a GAL to copy both parents on communications regarding the child?


2. Is it necessary for the GAL to copy the daughter on billing issues?


3. Child is being seen by an orthodontist. Orthodontist will give dad all the info regarding the treatment, but will not tell him when or if appointments are scheduled, even when asked. Is that correct practice? They say this is their policy in all divorce situations.


4. Psychological evaluations with a view to evaluating restoring parenting time was ordered by the judge October 15. Dad immediately complied with his portion. Mom has yet to provide child for their portion of the evaluation (mom requested that she be heard as well by the psychologist). When would it be logical for dad to file with the court requesting that mom comply with the October 15 order? It is now December 14.

Thank you for your advice. I will supply any additional information as needed.

Step mom in New Jersey

 

[Ohiogal]

Nice to meet you

What is the name of your state? NJ

I am asking questions at the request of my husband who is an NCP father with joint legal custody. I have reregistered with a new name, as CJane and others have suggested. I previously posted under the name NCPdad. I am starting fresh, and I apologize for the board specific faux pas' that I committed while using that name.

Thank you.

Currently, my husband's parenting time with his 13 year old daughter has been suspended. Dad is representing himself pro se. A GAL has been assigned to his daughter. Psychological evaluations are to be done on both dad and his daughter.

Why not on mom?

He has a few questions.

1. Is it required for a GAL to copy both parents on communications regarding the child?

Nope.

2. Is it necessary for the GAL to copy the daughter on billing issues?

WHAT? Children should never be copied on any legal items.

3. Child is being seen by an orthodontist. Orthodontist will give dad all the info regarding the treatment, but will not tell him when or if appointments are scheduled, even when asked. Is that correct practice? They say this is their policy in all divorce situations.

There policy is most likely in violation of state law as dad is entitled to access to all medical information regarding his daughter unless there is a restraining order prohibiting it. Dad needs to tell said Orthodontist that.

4. Psychological evaluations with a view to evaluating restoring parenting time was ordered by the judge October 15. Dad immediately complied with his portion. Mom has yet to provide child for their portion of the evaluation (mom requested that she be heard as well by the psychologist). When would it be logical for dad to file with the court requesting that mom comply with the October 15 order? It is now December 14.

Have dad file now so dad can have mom served properly before the next hearing. Was there a time period listed on the court order? If so then that controls of course and he need sto wait until said time has expired. Mom does not need to be heard as well by the psychologist -- at least not during the child's portion. Unless both parents are NORMALLY heard at that point. Who chose the psychologist?

Thank you for your advice. I will supply any additional information as needed.

Step mom in New Jersey

You are welcome.

 

[SMinNJ]

I'll admit, I find the quoting here a bit unwieldy, so forgive me but I'm going to try to answer the specific questions... if I've done it wrong, let me know, and I'll figure it out...

OG asked "Why not on mom?"

Dad had originally filed a motion asking for custody, at the daughter's request. Mom immediately filed ex parte to suspend parenting time claiming daughter's fear. All of Dad's original motion has been ignored - not dismissed, just not being dealt with. At the show cause for the ex parte, the judge ordered a true custody eval for all of them. As time went by, after the GAL got involved, the GAL advised cancelling the custody eval and using the evaluator to do the psych evals on daughter and dad to see whether parenting time should be restored. Mom's counsel immediately piped in, saying that mom wanted to make sure that she got her say with the evaluator, and so the order reads that Dad and daughter are to be evaluated, and that mom is to be permitted to give her input to the evaluator. Dad does not know specifically whether mom will be taking the personality test, but the evaluator was planning on scheduling a separate appointment with mom.


OG says, "Nope."

This was regarding do both sides have to be copied. Should he be copying when a letter is specifically in response to issues that dad has brought up to the GAL. He understands he does not have confidentiality with the GAL.


OG says, "WHAT? Children should never be copied on any legal items. " Child has holiday concert tonight. GAL requested that dad not attend, stating that there was no legal reason for dad not to attend, but in respect for difficulties that he claims that have occurred previously, it would reflect negatively on dad's concern for daughter's best interest if he attended. GAL then went on to address some billing issues for which he felt he might need to address the court. GAL copied this letter to both child(via email) and to opposing counsel.


OG says, "There policy is most likely in violation of state law as dad is entitled to access to all medical information regarding his daughter unless there is a restraining order prohibiting it. Dad needs to tell said Orthodontist that. "

Thanks - he wondered whether appointment dates were included as "medical information". New Jersey statute indicates that both parents are entitled to access unless there is a court order barring access to same.


OG says, "Have dad file now so dad can have mom served properly before the next hearing. Was there a time period listed on the court order? If so then that controls of course and he need sto wait until said time has expired. Mom does not need to be heard as well by the psychologist -- at least not during the child's portion. Unless both parents are NORMALLY heard at that point. Who chose the psychologist?"

This is regarding a motion to enforce the order sending dad and daughter to psych evals. There is no time period listed on the order. There is also no next hearing. The understanding is simply that when the eval is complete, the court will contact the parties for a conference call. There has only been one hearing in this case - the show cause after the ex parte. Each subsequent contact has been via conference call, and for two out of the three, was prompted by communication by the parties to the court. The judge however, has asked that the parties no longer send letters to the court regarding issues and updates, and requires instead that motions be filed for all issues. I explained mom's participation above. The court asked for three choices from mom and dad each of psychologists to do the original custody evaluation. The court stated that if there was agreement on the list, then that would be the choice - if not, the judge would select one. This choice was not on dad's list, however has, in conversation with dad, shown himself to be relatively fair, and at times, on his own, frustrated with the delays mom has come up with.


Thanks again. I hope I have clarified things.

Step Mom in NJ

 

[Just Blue]

Step Mom...I would like to thank you for your gracious adjustment to out forum "rules"...

 

[Ohiogal]

Hit reply when answering someone and then when you are in the editor, highlight the text you want to respond to. There is a quote button. It looks like a cartoon bubble. Hit that. It will then quote the words. You will have to remove the first and last quote (at the beginning and end of the post) however.

 

[majomom1]

Step Mom...I would like to thank you for your gracious adjustment to out forum "rules"...

I will second that!

Very awesome job. Facts, points and clear questions... no one would ever guess you and ncpdad were one and the same.

Good luck! I have teens and know those years can be very hard!

 

[SMinNJ]

New questions

Thank you.


Why not on mom?

Dad had originally filed a motion asking for custody, at the daughter's request. Mom immediately filed ex parte to suspend parenting time claiming daughter's fear. All of Dad's original motion has been ignored - not dismissed, just not being dealt with. At the show cause for the ex parte, the judge ordered a true custody eval for all of them. As time went by, after the GAL got involved, the GAL advised cancelling the custody eval and using the evaluator to do the psych evals on daughter and dad to see whether parenting time should be restored. Mom's counsel immediately piped in, saying that mom wanted to make sure that she got her say with the evaluator, and so the order reads that Dad and daughter are to be evaluated, and that mom is to be permitted to give her input to the evaluator. Dad does not know specifically whether mom will be taking the personality test, but the evaluator was planning on scheduling a separate appointment with mom.

WHAT? Children should never be copied on any legal items.

Child has holiday concert tonight. GAL requested that dad not attend, stating that there was no legal reason for dad not to attend, but in respect for difficulties that he claims that have occurred previously, it would reflect negatively on dad's concern for daughter's best interest if he attended. GAL then went on to address some billing issues for which he felt he might need to address the court. GAL copied this letter to both child(via email) and to opposing counsel.

New questions.

I indicated earlier that there were some billing issues regarding the child's GAL. The GAL disappeared for 6-7 weeks, without contact to any of the parties. He submitted a "statement" to the parties for three months of billing at once that only showed how many hours he worked in the entire month (i.e. 4 hours August 2007 at $250/hr.) Dad requested a breakdown similar to what he would get from his own attorney (i.e. .75 hour August 13, 2007 letter to the court). GAL refused. Dad and GAL are communicating on this matter, with GAL copying opposing counsel on his refusals to provide Dad with the information and his refusal to accept any sort of good faith payments while this is being worked out. Dad is NOT copying opposing counsel, on the theory that it is none of her business.

Today, dad received letter written by opposing counsel to psychological evaluator, stating that mom will only pay evaluator once evaluator confirms that dad has paid him, on the fear that the evaluation will not be completed if dad doesn't pay, and therefore mom will be out of $. Opposing counsel specifically in this letter states that Dad is supposed to pay 50% of GAL and has not paid, and therefore, she believes he will not pay the evaluator. The evaluator has previously made it clear to dad, and most probably to mom, that full payment was due at the time of the initial interview, so mom should have the knowledge that dad has paid, based on the fact that the evaluator and dad have both told her that dad has had his appointments already.

Now that the backstory is done -

1. Was it appropriate for counsel to volunteer information to the evaluator that was unnecessary to his evaluation, especially since this could be considered impairing to the evaluator's judgement?

2. Is it proper for the GAL to copy opposing counsel on correspondence regarding the percentage of the fee that dad is responsible for?

3. When dad files his motion to compel mom to provide daughter for the evaluation that was ordered over 2 months ago, is that a contempt motion?

 

[LdiJ]

Forgive me...but I have just skimmed this thread...so I may not be properly covering issues.

However...both parents are supposed to be covering costs based on what is ordered. If one parent is not/has not covered cost on one issue/area of the case, that's going to effect how the other issues are handled.

Example...if a parent is not paying the GAL, then its likely that an evaluator won't proceed either unless they are paid up front.

 

[Bloopy]

Child has holiday concert tonight. GAL requested that dad not attend, stating that there was no legal reason for dad not to attend, but in respect for difficulties that he claims that have occurred previously, it would reflect negatively on dad's concern for daughter's best interest if he attended. GAL then went on to address some billing issues for which he felt he might need to address the court. GAL copied this letter to both child(via email) and to opposing counsel.

I don’t know the history but if Mom and Dad have engaged in public duels then I can see the wisdom of one of them missing the concert.
The GAL sent a copy directly to the CHILD? Perhaps mom but I doubt the child.

1.

Was it appropriate for counsel to volunteer information to the evaluator that was unnecessary to his evaluation, especially since this could be considered impairing to the evaluator's judgement?

I think knowing the backstory (both sides) to a case’s history is helpful to a counselor. Without addressing the issues at hand, the counselor is less likely to be able to address those problems. Counselors can support or refute the other party’s claims. It is their job to be impartial but they do need to know what they are dealing with to get to the meat efficiently. It is likely that there will only be a few sessions before a court date.

2. Is it proper for the GAL to copy opposing counsel on correspondence regarding the percentage of the fee that dad is responsible for?

One must collect

3. When dad files his motion to compel mom to provide daughter for the evaluation that was ordered over 2 months ago, is that a contempt motion?

Her excuse is reasonable

 

[SMinNJ]

I don’t know the history but if Mom and Dad have engaged in public duels then I can see the wisdom of one of them missing the concert.

Brief history - after child told dad that she wanted to live with him and dad filed papers, mom filed saying child is terrified of dad and never wants to see him again. Him not attending the concert allegedly was child's request. Dad agreed, and asked mom to videotape concert. Haven't heard about that yet.

The GAL sent a copy directly to the CHILD? Perhaps mom but I doubt the child.

GAL did in fact copy the child via email and the opposing attorney on the letter - unless the GAL lied on his CC, which seems unlikely.

1.
I think knowing the backstory (both sides) to a case’s history is helpful to a counselor. Without addressing the issues at hand, the counselor is less likely to be able to address those problems. Counselors can support or refute the other party’s claims. It is their job to be impartial but they do need to know what they are dealing with to get to the meat efficiently. It is likely that there will only be a few sessions before a court date.

This is not a counselor - this is an psychological evaluator who's only purpose in his evaluation is to determine whether parenting time should be reinstated. The only two parties here, according to the court's order of evaluation, are the child and dad. Mom is not supposed to be evaluated.

One must collect

I am not attempting to refute your advice/opinions, simply trying to bring clarification. The GAL, who is the one collecting, is copying opposing counsel, who is not the party disputing billing. My husband agrees that if the GAL is providing a service, dad should pay, and therefore, GAL must collect. Dad is making payments to the GAL while waiting for the confirmation of billing.

Her excuse is reasonable

Thank you. Ohiogal had indicated that he could file a motion since it has been two months since the order was made, and mom has made appointments and cancelled, and now, two months later, has sent this letter to the evaluator. In a message from the evaluator, dad was told that mom was dragging her feet on things.

I'm going to jump here and address LdiJ here also...

The matter with the GAL is a billing dispute - the GAL billed for activity during which time none of the parties (opposing counsel, dad, or child) were able to contact him. His billing simply says (example) 10 hours @ $250/hr. He gave no specifics. Opposing counsel referenced in communications during that time that she had written to the GAL four times and received no response. Dad had called and written to GAL a total of 7 times during that period, with no response. Child had sent at least two emails, which were given no response. Opposing counsel IS aware that dad has disputed the billing for this time frame.

The evaluator made it clear in his opening conversation with dad, before all of the billing issues with the GAL, that each portion of the evaluation had to be paid at the start of the first evaluation appointment. Dad paid that a month and a half ago, when he had his appointment. The presumption is that the same policy was laid out to mom when she spoke to evaluator initially. The delay, beside postponing any possibility of restoring visitation, is also a financial hardship on dad since our insurance company has pre-approved payment for the evaluation, but this can't be paid to dad until the evaluation is complete. This is clearly not mom's motivation, since she does not yet know that the insurance has said they would cover it, but dad would still like to get the claim processed.

I hope that clarifies...

Question -

Dad wrote a letter to opposing counsel over a week ago, sent vial email and USPS, requesting some actions (copies of child's schoolwork, info regarding child's ortho appt., that parties get child into counseling). This letter has had no response, although the letter regarding payment to the evaluator has been written since his letter was sent. All of the issues were previously addressed in a letter he sent back at the beginning of November, for which he received no response.

What is a reasonable timeframe for an attorney to respond to these sorts of issues?

Thanks,

Stepmom in New jersey

 

[Humusluvr]

This was regarding do both sides have to be copied. Should he be copying when a letter is specifically in response to issues that dad has brought up to the GAL. He understands he does not have confidentiality with the GAL.


OG says, "WHAT? Children should never be copied on any legal items. "

Is it possible that mom and child have the same email, and that is how the child is mistakenly being copied in the matter? I certainly agree with OG that the child should NEVER be mixed up in legal matters.

Thanks for the clarification.

 

[SMinNJ]

Is it possible that mom and child have the same email, and that is how the child is mistakenly being copied in the matter? I certainly agree with OG that the child should NEVER be mixed up in legal matters.

Thanks for the clarification.

Nope, not possible. The cc specifically says cc: Child's first and last name (via email).
following that is the name of mom's attorney.

Mom and child have different email addresses - dad knows this since email and usps is the only way mom will communicate w/ dad (when they're not litigating), and child in the past offered her email address to dad and I to use... granted, dad has proof that mom has opened child's email in the past while child was not in her presence, but that's another issue

 

[2Mistakes]

granted, dad has proof that mom has opened child's email in the past while child was not in her presence, but that's another issue

Nothing wrong with that. My wife and I have all of my 14 year old daughter's passwords (email, myspace, IM, etc.) and we check them all on a regular basis. We don't do it to be nosy, but to protect her. As her dad, I need to know who she's talking to online, and I need to make sure that she's not giving out any personal info. It would really suck to have a predator show up on my door-step and murder my family because my daughter gave out personal info. I know that seems pretty far-fetched, but in this day and age, ya just never know. Better to be safe than sorry.

I also have a key-logger installed on her laptop. It sends me logs of every keystroke she makes. A little controlling, maybe. But if there's a problem, I'll know about it pronto, and can nip it in the bud. I don't read everything word for word, I skim through just to make sure everything is on the up and up. She is a teenager, afterall. They've been known to be sneaky.

 

[SMinNJ]

Nothing wrong with that. My wife and I have all of my 14 year old daughter's passwords (email, myspace, IM, etc.) and we check them all on a regular basis. We don't do it to be nosy, but to protect her. As her dad, I need to know who she's talking to online, and I need to make sure that she's not giving out any personal info. It would really suck to have a predator show up on my door-step and murder my family because my daughter gave out personal info. I know that seems pretty far-fetched, but in this day and age, ya just never know. Better to be safe than sorry.

I also have a key-logger installed on her laptop. It sends me logs of every keystroke she makes. A little controlling, maybe. But if there's a problem, I'll know about it pronto, and can nip it in the bud. I don't read everything word for word, I skim through just to make sure everything is on the up and up. She is a teenager, afterall. They've been known to be sneaky.

I applaud your efforts to police your daughter's internet use - it's what parents should do... the emails that mom opened were not random - she opened and read all of dad's emails to child several times, from work (dad uses, and has never hidden the fact, a read receipt service - started after child repeatedly claimed she never got emails from him. Eventually, she discovered that all of dad's emails were in her spam folder. After confronting mom, she began to find dad's emails in her trash file).

sminnj

 

[2Mistakes]

I applaud your efforts to police your daughter's internet use - it's what parents should do... the emails that mom opened were not random - she opened and read all of dad's emails to child several times, from work (dad uses, and has never hidden the fact, a read receipt service - started after child repeatedly claimed she never got emails from him. Eventually, she discovered that all of dad's emails were in her spam folder. After confronting mom, she began to find dad's emails in her trash file).

sminnj

Yeah, I could see that being a problem. For the most part, I don't read the emails that my ex-wife sends to our daughter. Sometimes my curiosity get the better of me, though.

I did read an email my ex-wife sent to our daughter. The subject was my wife's name . . . and it was an ridiculously long email completely trashing my wife. I did not delete it, though. My daughter read it, and sent back a rather blistering reply to her mom, telling her to never speak about my wife that way, that my wife is the one who raises the kids because my ex-wife doesn't care enough.

It was pretty powerful stuff for a 14 year old, but I have to say that I was pretty proud of her for seeing things how they really are, and having the courage to stand up to her mother and tell her how she feels.