Mom Refused to have Daughter Treated

[Chamillion]

What is the name of your state? TX

On the 24th, my ex called me and asked if I had noticed that our daughter had blisters on her genitalia. I answered no, and that she hadn't complained to me about anything going on down there either.

When I asked her what the bumps looked like, she really didn't want to explain, but simply said they were blister and a few bumps. I told her that she really needed to take her in to the ER so that they could find out what was going on. She said that she didn't think it was that serious, so she wasn't taking her. I informed her that anytime ther are blisters or bumps in that area, it should be of GRAVE concern and especially since its on a 4 year old! She still refused. I took off work early, and text messaged her that I was leaving early, and I really thought it would be a better idea to take her to the ER. I offered to come and do it myself if she didn't have the time, and offered to pay for any cost concerning the visit if she didn't have the money to take her.

She lied to me and said that she would take her, and I sked her to let me know when she made it there so I could come. The reason I took it so seriously is because I posted before about the possibility of her boyfriend fondling my daughter from a previous incident where she disclosed that to my fiancee and I. The boyfriend has herpes, and the worst thoguhts were going through my mind, which is why I was incredibly worried about what could be going on.

I picked my daughter up on the 25th around 9pm from her mom. Upon inspection I saw he bumps, but no blistering. I did however notice a discharge. I set her an appointment for the 26th at 2pm with our youngests pediatrician. The testing resulted in her being diagnosed with having yeast and urinary tract infections, and she also had strep throat.

I called mom and told her what was going on, and began asking her questions. She allows our daughter to shower alone, with no supervision. I conclude that she has been doing this for some time because when we actually got along, there were times that I'd go over and she would be allowing her to bathe without supervision...and this was at the age of 3. I stated my opinion that I didn't think it was a good idea then citing safety reasons as well as her inablility to clean herself properly without instruction, and I hold that same view now.

When I asked her why she lied and said she was going to take her to the ER, she told me it was because she was worried that it was hte same thing I was thinking when she first told meand she was afraid of what may have happened. I explained to her that anytime our daughter needs medical treatment, that there should never be a time when she goes without because she was afraid. Had she not been violating the courts order, the possiblility of it being herpes wouldn't have even entered her mind...but that's a whole nother' situation.

Anyway, although I have taken care of the problem...I consider this to be somethign very serious and needs attentoin. I still have the text messages we sent where she is stating the symptoms, and my asking her to go to the ER, her refusing, and then finally lying. I have recorded converssations between us about the incident described where she admits all these things in our conversation as well. It pisses me off because she not only refuses her medical treatment, but she doesn't even give her the medication that she needs on a daily basis, so she comes to our house sick. Thank God I took your advice and had dual prescription written so that she's 9 times out of 10 well whenshe leaves our house.

What can I do about this?? Something needs to be done!

 

[CourtClerk]

Boyfriend has herpes... did you relay that to the doctor? Perhaps she should have her blood drawn to see if the virus is laying dormant in her body.

Is recording conversations (1-party) legal in TX? Be careful... tread lightly.

Do you have an attorney? Talk to them.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? TX

On the 24th, my ex called me and asked if I had noticed that our daughter had blisters on her genitalia. I answered no, and that she hadn't complained to me about anything going on down there either.

When I asked her what the bumps looked like, she really didn't want to explain, but simply said they were blister and a few bumps. I told her that she really needed to take her in to the ER so that they could find out what was going on. She said that she didn't think it was that serious, so she wasn't taking her. I informed her that anytime ther are blisters or bumps in that area, it should be of GRAVE concern and especially since its on a 4 year old! She still refused. I took off work early, and text messaged her that I was leaving early, and I really thought it would be a better idea to take her to the ER. I offered to come and do it myself if she didn't have the time, and offered to pay for any cost concerning the visit if she didn't have the money to take her.

She lied to me and said that she would take her, and I sked her to let me know when she made it there so I could come. The reason I took it so seriously is because I posted before about the possibility of her boyfriend fondling my daughter from a previous incident where she disclosed that to my fiancee and I. The boyfriend has herpes, and the worst thoguhts were going through my mind, which is why I was incredibly worried about what could be going on.

I picked my daughter up on the 25th around 9pm from her mom. Upon inspection I saw he bumps, but no blistering. I did however notice a discharge. I set her an appointment for the 26th at 2pm with our youngests pediatrician. The testing resulted in her being diagnosed with having yeast and urinary tract infections, and she also had strep throat.

I called mom and told her what was going on, and began asking her questions. She allows our daughter to shower alone, with no supervision. I conclude that she has been doing this for some time because when we actually got along, there were times that I'd go over and she would be allowing her to bathe without supervision...and this was at the age of 3. I stated my opinion that I didn't think it was a good idea then citing safety reasons as well as her inablility to clean herself properly without instruction, and I hold that same view now.

When I asked her why she lied and said she was going to take her to the ER, she told me it was because she was worried that it was hte same thing I was thinking when she first told meand she was afraid of what may have happened. I explained to her that anytime our daughter needs medical treatment, that there should never be a time when she goes without because she was afraid. Had she not been violating the courts order, the possiblility of it being herpes wouldn't have even entered her mind...but that's a whole nother' situation.

Anyway, although I have taken care of the problem...I consider this to be somethign very serious and needs attentoin. I still have the text messages we sent where she is stating the symptoms, and my asking her to go to the ER, her refusing, and then finally lying. I have recorded converssations between us about the incident described where she admits all these things in our conversation as well. It pisses me off because she not only refuses her medical treatment, but she doesn't even give her the medication that she needs on a daily basis, so she comes to our house sick. Thank God I took your advice and had dual prescription written so that she's 9 times out of 10 well whenshe leaves our house.

What can I do about this?? Something needs to be done!

Had I been in your shoes I would have immediately suspected a yeast infection and would not have taken her to the ER, I would have made an appointment with her regular doctor. I wouldn't have considered that to be something that needed an ER visit. However, I am a female experienced with that kind of thing.

I hope you mentioned the herpes thing to the doctor. Sexual contact is not the only way to transmit that. It is very difficult to transmit other ways, but it can happen.

 

[Chamillion]

Boyfriend has herpes... did you relay that to the doctor?
I did mention it to the doctor, but she stated that the bumps were only hair follicles. I did however fail to mention that her mom told me that at first there were both blisters as well as bumps. I'll contact her on Momday to set an appointment to have the blood drawn.
Perhaps she should have her blood drawn to see if the virus is laying dormant in her body.

Is recording conversations (1-party) legal in TX? Be careful... tread lightly.
Yes, it is legal in Texas...as far as my research has told me.

Do you have an attorney? Talk to them.

I am in the process of screening through the ones I have talked to in order to make a final decision. As advised, I'm not trying to do this jury trial pro se!

Thanks much CourtClerk!!

 

[Chamillion]

Had I been in your shoes I would have immediately suspected a yeast infection and would not have taken her to the ER, I would have made an appointment with her regular doctor. I wouldn't have considered that to be something that needed an ER visit. However, I am a female experienced with that kind of thing.

Oh definitely not, but she didn't even mention the discharge when I was talking to her about the blisters and bumps. My only thought was that her boyfriend had done something to my daughter, and they needed to have seepage from blisters to test without doing the blood work. I did take her to my youngest daughters pediatrician the day after I picked her up from her moms. That's where I found out she had the yeast and urinary tract infections.

I hope you mentioned the herpes thing to the doctor. Sexual contact is not the only way to transmit that. It is very difficult to transmit other ways, but it can happen.

I am definitely going to do that tomorrow morning. Hopefully I can get her in before my visitation period is up..Thanks a lot LdiJ

 

[CourtClerk]

Had I been in your shoes I would have immediately suspected a yeast infection and would not have taken her to the ER, I would have made an appointment with her regular doctor. I wouldn't have considered that to be something that needed an ER visit. However, I am a female experienced with that kind of thing.

I was going to say... Ld... we are woman types. These things don't scare us like those who don't have vaginas...LOL I, myself was sitting here thinking.. a call to the pediatrician, and if it was a weekend, maybe a visit to urgent care, but not to the ER for that.

The "blisters" and the herpes correlation kind of alarmed me, but not enough to visit the ER still, because my though process is (please don't take this to sound cold) is that if she had been infected, she already is, and there's nothing that can be done about it now. ER's are for broken bones, heart attacks and things that need to be corrected NOW.

 

[justalayman]

as a dad, I can understand OP's position though. Mom had shown a lack of good judgement before and has shown to be secretive involving the children (the boyfriend thing) so when I heard blisters,I doubt I would go to the ER but I would have been on the phone with a doctor.

an ER is designed to deal with emrgency situations and unless there was a concern of this being the result of an injury (showers by herself, hot water, burns but I would think that an injury such as that would have resulted in screams that alerted mom) and not an illness unless there were signs of distress in other areas (breathing, consiousness, etc.) I would think a Dr.'s office appointment would be the proper and reasonable action. Most Dr.'s do have urgent appointments avaiable so she most likely could have been seen the next day or 2 at most.

If you do not have a close realtionship with this youngsters ped, make it so so you can call when such situations arise and can expect some reasonable direction from them.

 

[CourtClerk]

Oh I can absolutely understand why Chamillion went straight for the ER. If he doesn't know any better, then that's the thinking. Think about how many people go to the ER because they have the cold or flu. Dr's office isn't open, it's the next best thing. Him taking the baby girl to the ER was certainly better than what mom did... which was nothing at all.

I have 2 boys. 1, I adopted (relative adoption) and my bio-son. When my big boy started playing football, he was tackled and hit in the stomach in just the right area. Made him urinate blood. I freaked... and took him STRAIGHT to the ER. He got a kidney shot and that's what happened. No long term damage, no medication... nothing. Doc checked him over and sent us on our way.

My little one had a similiar thing happen to him just recently (he just started playing tackle 3 years ago). He started complaining of pain down there and this time.. I just called the doc. He told the doctor what happened, and the doc told me to have him sit in the tub for a while. If it didn't get better by morning, stop by. He was better by morning. Things come by experience. I hate to sound gross, but with girls, there are going to be a few more yeast infections in your future (although they shouldn't be while she's 4).

 

[justalayman]

Not sure I totally agree with your point of view there CC. You may have left some things out but a football injury can cause internal injuries and internal bleeding.

There are definately things to look for that usually indicate such injury, and you may have been coached on them, but, if there is internal bleeding, the ER is the only place to go. Waiting until the morning can be deadly.

Unless you are trained to look for such clues, a trip to the ER is indicated.

and with the little one, I also have some trouble with how it was written off so easily as well. It sounds like "down there" was in reference to his testicular area. As such, hopefully you performed an investigation yourself as there are injuries that, while typically not life threatening, can cause permanent damage in a very short time without treatment.

A strangulated or twisted testicle can cause enough damage in a 24 hour period to render that teste useless. As well, there are several other injuries that would need immediate attention.

Not trying to play doctor but injuries are one time when a trip to the ER is justified unless it is evident the injury is minor.

 

[MrsK]

Oh I can absolutely understand why Chamillion went straight for the ER. If he doesn't know any better, then that's the thinking. Think about how many people go to the ER because they have the cold or flu. Dr's office isn't open, it's the next best thing. Him taking the baby girl to the ER was certainly better than what mom did... which was nothing at all.

I have 2 boys. 1, I adopted (relative adoption) and my bio-son. When my big boy started playing football, he was tackled and hit in the stomach in just the right area. Made him urinate blood. I freaked... and took him STRAIGHT to the ER. He got a kidney shot and that's what happened. No long term damage, no medication... nothing. Doc checked him over and sent us on our way.

My little one had a similiar thing happen to him just recently (he just started playing tackle 3 years ago). He started complaining of pain down there and this time.. I just called the doc. He told the doctor what happened, and the doc told me to have him sit in the tub for a while. If it didn't get better by morning, stop by. He was better by morning. Things come by experience. I hate to sound gross, but with girls, there are going to be a few more yeast infections in your future (although they shouldn't be while she's 4).

It is not all that uncommon for a toddler/young girl to have a couple of yeast infections. Something as simple as medication can cause them.

Also, OP- I'd def. test for herpes in her system BUT- yeast infections can cause blisters. Just some FYI.

 

[CourtClerk]

Not sure I totally agree with your point of view there CC. You may have left some things out but a football injury can cause internal injuries and internal bleeding.

There are definately things to look for that usually indicate such injury, and you may have been coached on them, but, if there is internal bleeding, the ER is the only place to go. Waiting until the morning can be deadly.

Unless you are trained to look for such clues, a trip to the ER is indicated.

and with the little one, I also have some trouble with how it was written off so easily as well. It sounds like "down there" was in reference to his testicular area. As such, hopefully you performed an investigation yourself as there are injuries that, while typically not life threatening, can cause permanent damage in a very short time without treatment.

A strangulated or twisted testicle can cause enough damage in a 24 hour period to render that teste useless. As well, there are several other injuries that would need immediate attention.

Not trying to play doctor but injuries are one time when a trip to the ER is justified unless it is evident the injury is minor.

Actually, before I settled on into the courts, I went to school to be an PA, and my aunt is one (his coach is also an EMT who has popped more than one elbow or shoulder back into the socket right on the field, splinted it and sent the kids off to the hospital). There were no signs of shock, internal bleeding, tenderness to the area or a distended stomach. I did, myself examine the area, went to my aunt's house and then called the doc afterward.
Believe me, I am the consummate overprotective mother. I don't play with those things especially with a sport where kids are prone to injury.

 

[justalayman]

I don't play with those things especially with a sport where kids are prone to injury.

good to hear. You didn't explain any further originally and some folks are very ignorant of such things.

Sounds like your children are in good hands.

 

[CourtClerk]

good to hear. You didn't explain any further originally and some folks are very ignorant of such things.

Sounds like your children are in good hands.

Did kind of sound like I was thinking... concussion... ehhh.. whatever. Blood??? Happens all the time. SHAKE IT OFF!!! No, that wasn't the case at all...

 

[Chamillion]

It is not all that uncommon for a toddler/young girl to have a couple of yeast infections. Something as simple as medication can cause them.

Also, OP- I'd def. test for herpes in her system BUT- yeast infections can cause blisters. Just some FYI.

Wow, I didn't know that. I'm hoping and praying that's the blisters that she saw before I exchanged custody with her.

 

[CourtClerk]

Wow, I didn't know that. I'm hoping and praying that's the blisters that she saw before I exchanged custody with her.

We've got these complicated bodies , but I would also caution you to pay attention to the soap she's using to bathe, don't let her wear panties right out of the package (wash first) and watch her diet (sodas, etc.). UTI's are not comfortable. If she likes yogart, feed her some.