What is the name of your state? Az
I don't want to bore you with all of the background info but the bottom line is my ex and I do not have a good working parenting relationship (we have Joint custody and she is primary residential parent) and I am seeking additional time with our 11 year old son because he spends over 1/2 his time with her (his Mom, my ex), actually not with her but with her parents. I am supposed to have first right of refusal but its very ignored and they attempt to conceal it from me - anyhow I do have an attorney but could use some advice on a current issue about whether or not its worth pursuing legally.
I have every other weekend and every Tues with our son. Normally per plan I would have him weekend of May 10th but due to Mother's Day, he is with her from Fri-Mon that weekend. My fiancee (who also has two girls from previous relationship, therefore deals with parenting plan as well) and I are planning to wed. Neither of us wants a big wedding and really we want to do it (a wedding/event) for the kids and our parents, otherwise we'd probably just so to a courthouse. I have turned my life around and used to be a putz but really have looked myself hard in the mirror and have made tremendous changes for the better. We want the kids to experience the wedding and have a really great example of a loving relationship between two people who would do anything for each other....enough of that. Hopefully you get the idea. Unfortunately, my Dad's only time available is that weekend sue to the fact he's in Australia for 3 months and doesn't return until the 5th and then leaves for a summer vacation a week later. Then there's my fiancees work schedule (she works in law enforcement in a specialized unit) so she's not able to just "take time off" anytime without prior written approval and it has to be worked around other's vacations etc. Plus there's my work schedule, the other parents etc etc....you get the point. Also, the location we want to have it at is ONLY available that weekend or the weekend prior (when my Dad is not in town) until summer (which in Az is scalding HOT). So, knowing the ex has son for that weekend, I sent an email to her requesting time for 4 hours so son can come to ceremony (he's my best man, of course). No response. I sent it again asking for a response by Friday (2 days away). Still no response, which is NOT normal. I then sent a certified letter to her residence moving deadline back 4 days....so, the day comes and I get an email that says that her Dad is having a surprise birthday party and their son wants to attend that so he won't be available. I sent another stating that we could work around his party if she lets me know so that he can attend both events and she responded within minutes, "I already gave you my answer", therefore its just no. Apparently Mother's Day isn't an issue at all which is the reason she has him for the weekend. Obviously, I will not have the ceremony without my son. Two concerns - one is that is "appears" as though she's letting our son "decide" what is important for him to go to - oh by the way, he's been diagnosed with mild autism and is socially 4-5 years behind, so its like asking a 7-8 year old. Then, there's the issue of placing the importance of her parents above me constantly. I am very involved in my son's life, will continue to be but this is just the latest example of where she places my importance in our son's life. Its frustrating to say the least.
The question of the day - is it worth requesting a hearing in front of a judge or maybe there are other suggestions out there? Would a judge be willing to allow him to be with us even if just for an hour....we are willing to work around her schedule entirely and we know the party isn't a 24 hours party! Will a judge see that she is being vindictive? Do you see it that way or are my emotions controlling me?
Thanks so much.
What is the name of your state?
I don't want to bore you with all of the background info but the bottom line is my ex and I do not have a good working parenting relationship (we have Joint custody and she is primary residential parent) and I am seeking additional time with our 11 year old son because he spends over 1/2 his time with her (his Mom, my ex), actually not with her but with her parents. I am supposed to have first right of refusal but its very ignored and they attempt to conceal it from me - anyhow I do have an attorney but could use some advice on a current issue about whether or not its worth pursuing legally.
I have every other weekend and every Tues with our son. Normally per plan I would have him weekend of May 10th but due to Mother's Day, he is with her from Fri-Mon that weekend. My fiancee (who also has two girls from previous relationship, therefore deals with parenting plan as well) and I are planning to wed. Neither of us wants a big wedding and really we want to do it (a wedding/event) for the kids and our parents, otherwise we'd probably just so to a courthouse. I have turned my life around and used to be a putz but really have looked myself hard in the mirror and have made tremendous changes for the better. We want the kids to experience the wedding and have a really great example of a loving relationship between two people who would do anything for each other....enough of that. Hopefully you get the idea. Unfortunately, my Dad's only time available is that weekend sue to the fact he's in Australia for 3 months and doesn't return until the 5th and then leaves for a summer vacation a week later. Then there's my fiancees work schedule (she works in law enforcement in a specialized unit) so she's not able to just "take time off" anytime without prior written approval and it has to be worked around other's vacations etc. Plus there's my work schedule, the other parents etc etc....you get the point. Also, the location we want to have it at is ONLY available that weekend or the weekend prior (when my Dad is not in town) until summer (which in Az is scalding HOT). So, knowing the ex has son for that weekend, I sent an email to her requesting time for 4 hours so son can come to ceremony (he's my best man, of course). No response. I sent it again asking for a response by Friday (2 days away). Still no response, which is NOT normal. I then sent a certified letter to her residence moving deadline back 4 days....so, the day comes and I get an email that says that her Dad is having a surprise birthday party and their son wants to attend that so he won't be available. I sent another stating that we could work around his party if she lets me know so that he can attend both events and she responded within minutes, "I already gave you my answer", therefore its just no. Apparently Mother's Day isn't an issue at all which is the reason she has him for the weekend. Obviously, I will not have the ceremony without my son. Two concerns - one is that is "appears" as though she's letting our son "decide" what is important for him to go to - oh by the way, he's been diagnosed with mild autism and is socially 4-5 years behind, so its like asking a 7-8 year old. Then, there's the issue of placing the importance of her parents above me constantly. I am very involved in my son's life, will continue to be but this is just the latest example of where she places my importance in our son's life. Its frustrating to say the least.
The question of the day - is it worth requesting a hearing in front of a judge or maybe there are other suggestions out there? Would a judge be willing to allow him to be with us even if just for an hour....we are willing to work around her schedule entirely and we know the party isn't a 24 hours party! Will a judge see that she is being vindictive? Do you see it that way or are my emotions controlling me?
Thanks so much.
What is the name of your state?
