Thanks Ginny J. Honestly, I do appreciate your suggestions primarily.
Its easier to be where you sit; reading replies posted by people who are personally involved in emotional circumstances....that's why we ask for a voice of reason. Our friends are going to tell us to fight, our attorney's want to cause they want to get $$....so isn't that what this post is all about? So, the logical and non-emotional response was what I was looking for and I got it....so, I do mean it. Thanks.
Exactly. All those cheerleaders don't have to live with the mess they suggest to put you in. Really, asking for the time on Mother's Day weekend would, by most women, likely be taken as a huge slap in the face, like they don't matter at all, or at least YOU don't think they matter as a mother. Very touchy thing to be asking in the first place (and really if I were you, I'd tell her you just realized how stupid it was to even ask and apologize for it. Who knows? That may go a long way toward making her realize you're not such an ass and maybe she would find it in her heart to cooperate w/other plans you try to make or even a different version of this plan). Honestly, I would have slapped my husband upside the head if he asked his ex (who is a bitch) that question, not b/c she is a bitch, but b/c he'd have to have some nerve. I don't want to be the woman on his arm walking down the aisle under THOSE circumstances.
It's frustrating coordinating all tentacles of a family, but keep in mind who's most important -- you and future wife, then kids, then other family and do what you can to keep those things intact w/o running over someone else to get it and you'll be fine even if you can "have it all."
We saved over half.