Just wondering

[Supermomma]

What is the name of your state? N/A

Ive read so may past and present posts. Why are there so many posters who are just SO/SM asking the questions and not the actual parent they are with? Where are the parents? Or are the SO etc. so frustrated they just come here to vent and put the other parent down.

 

[stepmom4ever]

As for myself, I post questions on this site on behalf of my husband. I'm his wife and i will do whatever it takes to support him in anything he do.

 

[nextwife]

What is the name of your state? N/A

Ive read so may past and present posts. Why are there so many posters who are just SO/SM asking the questions and not the actual parent they are with? Where are the parents? Or are the SO etc. so frustrated they just come here to vent and put the other parent down.

In our household, for example, my husband simply won't use the internet. So ANY research ("Where's the closest Sears Outlet Store, hon?", ""Would you find the website for the XYZ Show in Vegas in October and sign me up?") get's assigned to me, the "techy" spouse. Betcha there are lots of people like hubby, who just don't like to use the internet.

 

[Melody70]

My husband depends on me to get the information for him.

 

[SMinNJ]

What is the name of your state? N/A

Ive read so may past and present posts. Why are there so many posters who are just SO/SM asking the questions and not the actual parent they are with? Where are the parents? Or are the SO etc. so frustrated they just come here to vent and put the other parent down.

I'm a SAHM who is truly my husband's helpmate. Like another poster said, I find out definitions to words, locations of stores, and ways to do things in computer programs. I also write emails, do light research to help him with his work, and anything else that is important to him. If it is important to him, it is important to me.

Part of the reason why I get silently bothered by advice that tells steps to let their spouses bear all the burdens - I know we're legal strangers to the children, but we are not legal strangers to our spouses... But I understand the reasoning for the advice, and would never think to complain about the fact that it is given.

 

[Mrs5sfsniper]

can't help myself

i really just come here to vent and put the other parent down.

 

[Zephyr]

i really just come here to vent and put the other parent down.

hehehe......shameful

 

[Mrs5sfsniper]

i'm striving for total honesty here.

 

[frylover]

What is the name of your state? N/A

Ive read so may past and present posts. Why are there so many posters who are just SO/SM asking the questions and not the actual parent they are with? Where are the parents? Or are the SO etc. so frustrated they just come here to vent and put the other parent down.

Well my hubby IS the techie in our family....but I'm the writer. So when I came here a few years ago with a child support question for him it was because he usually KNOWS what he wants to say, but I"m better at actually saying it. Now, if it were just a search that didn't require posing any questions, he'd be WAY better at it than me!

 

[faithnlve]

Because step moms need to prove that they are better than the real mom, to prove that dad should of gotten the kids not mom since SM is now in the picture and "thinks" dad is a wonderful no fault parent, and real mom is the worst. Step mom is jealous of real mom, step mom feels threatened that dad may go back to real mom, and step mom is jealous of child because it is not theirs and will belittle mom to make themselves feel empowered. Oh, and lets not forget, dad really does want to help support, feed, diaper and have custody whether shared or joint, BUT, he doesn't have the time, energy or resources to use internet for information. He wants to fight, but has other things to do. So the new spouse steps in, takes over to prove over and over that "her" hubby is a good dad, that she married someone who just doesn't have time to fight for his kids, but she has all the time in the world to fight for him. Sounds like the facts to me. Faith

 

[nextwife]

Because step moms need to prove that they are better than the real mom, to prove that dad should of gotten the kids not mom since SM is now in the picture and "thinks" dad is a wonderful no fault parent, and real mom is the worst. Step mom is jealous of real mom, step mom feels threatened that dad may go back to real mom, and step mom is jealous of child because it is not theirs and will belittle mom to make themselves feel empowered. Oh, and lets not forget, dad really does want to help support, feed, diaper and have custody whether shared or joint, BUT, he doesn't have the time, energy or resources to use internet for information. He wants to fight, but has other things to do. So the new spouse steps in, takes over to prove over and over that "her" hubby is a good dad, that she married someone who just doesn't have time to fight for his kids, but she has all the time in the world to fight for him. Sounds like the facts to me. Faith

First: the post was about the partner of the parent: not necessarilly StepMOMS.

Excuse me- are you saying that dad's who don't use the internet are unwilling to spend time with their kids, or are uninterested? And, I'm not threatened by hubby's ex, nor interested in raising his kids or proving anything. He was 20 years divorced (if he'd wanted to go back, he had plenty of both time and opportunity) by the time we hooked up, and his kids were grown when I became a step mom. I never diapered his kids, either. I didn't even diaper my own for more than a year!

Hmmm. I had a FABULOUS, involved, supportive dad - and he never spent a single minute of time on the internet.

 

[fairisfair]

Personally, I am wondering why this thread is even here. and why it is still open.

 

[angelmama]

Because step moms need to prove that they are better than the real mom, to prove that dad should of gotten the kids not mom since SM is now in the picture and "thinks" dad is a wonderful no fault parent, and real mom is the worst. Step mom is jealous of real mom, step mom feels threatened that dad may go back to real mom, and step mom is jealous of child because it is not theirs and will belittle mom to make themselves feel empowered. Oh, and lets not forget, dad really does want to help support, feed, diaper and have custody whether shared or joint, BUT, he doesn't have the time, energy or resources to use internet for information. He wants to fight, but has other things to do. So the new spouse steps in, takes over to prove over and over that "her" hubby is a good dad, that she married someone who just doesn't have time to fight for his kids, but she has all the time in the world to fight for him. Sounds like the facts to me. Faith

That may explain the behavior of some Stepmothers, but certainly not all. The same could be said for custodial mothers who want their new hubby to be dad, and want to push the real dad out of the picture. They move far away making it almost impossible for dad to be a dad, and complain about having to do anything to transport the child to see the Dad that they'd rather just forget about. There are also mother's who treat child support like its mommy support, and mothers who would rather cash a check then raise a child. But just as the evil overstepping stepmama is the exception so is the mother that I described above.

Don't let a few bad apples ruin it for everyone else.

I adore my Skids..they're awesome kids! And I don't think that my husband is perfect (though pretty close..haha), and I don't think that their mom is the antichrist (she's ok..we all get along), and I don't worry for one second about losing my hubby to her. We hear far more about the bad than the good..but my family for one is happy and healthy. Being in a successful blended family means that the kids come first. Its really that simple. Your comments are outrageous and completely ridiculous.

 

[doc2b]

Because step moms need to prove that they are better than the real mom, to prove that dad should of gotten the kids not mom since SM is now in the picture and "thinks" dad is a wonderful no fault parent, and real mom is the worst. Step mom is jealous of real mom, step mom feels threatened that dad may go back to real mom, and step mom is jealous of child because it is not theirs and will belittle mom to make themselves feel empowered. Oh, and lets not forget, dad really does want to help support, feed, diaper and have custody whether shared or joint, BUT, he doesn't have the time, energy or resources to use internet for information. He wants to fight, but has other things to do. So the new spouse steps in, takes over to prove over and over that "her" hubby is a good dad, that she married someone who just doesn't have time to fight for his kids, but she has all the time in the world to fight for him. Sounds like the facts to me. Faith

Sounds like you've had a nightmare of a stepmom to deal with...sorry for you, it sounds like it's made you a little bitter. Those of us who really care about our families and the kids in them (whether ours or not), don't behave that way and could care less about what's going on in mom's life as long is it doesn't affect the kiddos. My husband AND my husband's ex-wife have been looking to ME to mediate between them lately because they just don't like each other. And to be honest, her and I don't like each other either, but somebody has to try to find middle ground. So, I get on here, ask questions on behalf of both or either, read other questions for reference if certain situations arise...you get the idea.

I'm not jealous, or worried that my husband will leave me for her, or upset that they have children together (they made beautiful children). Nope, not in the least. And my husband puts his effort and time into spending quality time with the kids, doing homework, playing games, reading books, going to doctor appointments and all of the things he was able to do freely before he and mom got divorced...because he has time to when he doesn't have to spend any of it looking for help online or elsewhere. I don't think that implies at all that he doesn't want to make the effort to do what's best for the kids, he's just using his resources wisely and has a wife willing to do what she can for people that she loves.

 

[fairisfair]

OMG Mary. . . . please. . . . . . MAKE IT STOP.