Need Advice!

[VeronicaLodge]

How would I get a second job while traveling on the road? My work requires me to travel. I cannot make the same amount of money in that town, or any ONE town for that matter.
People like you that are worthless, don't accuse me of anything, unless you wanna meet and talk about it over "coffee".
Thank You but I actually held 3 yes THREE jobs in town, a full time and a part time, I was a salesman by day, worked for a funeral home in the afternoons and mowed lawns for extra cash ALL WEEKEND. So thanks for your benefit of the doubt. I sacrificed my time with the kids to support them and that's fine, but it STILL didn't pay the bills, that's why I'm back on the road. It's better money, and financial problems have steadily came our way.
Wouldn't you think SHE could get a job that payed more than $54 a week???? Maybe like a different profession like the one that was offered to her and she refused it? With her working doing what she loves and I'm doing what I hate and don't get to spend time with my kids, her employment is nothing more than a bill for ME.
And if it makes any difference I have another child by another woman in TX that I currently pay support to. Things didn't work out with her, so here I am supporting 2 families, no that child support does NOT only support that child. She refuses to work and lives off the government as well.
Why should these mothers not be required to work as well?????
And tell me the support enforcement is not biased to the mothers!! They automatically get all the reaps and benefits of a marriage and not having to work while the father is denied by the mother visitation and struggles to support his "new" family.
I don't accuse me of being lazy.
If you read my post correctly, you would've seen that I wasn't crazy about her doing this.
My boys are my life, why would i stay away from them**************...? What reason would I have?
You and people like you disgust me. Don't judge when you don't know all the facts, why don't you be considerate and ASK if I've tried getting a second job.
Playing games, ha!

guess you shouldnt have had kids you couldnt afford then huh?

 

[JGreen]

now read this one, it just makes one wonder even more what someone could be up to, now do any of you understand why or how I"m trying to protect myself??

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=1830458#post1830458

 

[VeronicaLodge]

if you married before having kids this wouldnt be a problem

 

[JGreen]

give me the money to buy her some stupid ring and have some stupid wedding and she might agree to marry then. Without a wedding and fancy ring, not. Marriage IS a wedding TO HER.

 

[VeronicaLodge]

guess you shouldn't have impregnated her until she agreed to marry you without a ring then.

 

[VeronicaLodge]

Obviously because nothing is your fault, you have no control over your own body, your own decisions, your own life. Everybody else is Fn you over and everything is happening to you right?

Seriously, I'm not actually trying to make you feel like crap and I'm not trying to even beat you up. I don't know you or anything about you. I just see/hear the same thing over and over these days, no one takes responsibility for their own lives and actions. Everyone thinks life just happens to them.

I don't think you are a bad guy at all, you kind of come off like you have an attitude but you probably have reason to. You claim you work hard and you love your boys and try to provide for them, I'm certainly not going to get down on you about that.

However, going back to before any of this happened, you had choices in your life. You chose to date this woman, you chose to continue doing so, you had to have gotten to know her and know what she is/was like. You chose to sleep with her before either knowing her very well or marrying her or getting engaged. You chose to not have one but two children out of wedlock with her, you chose to support her and let her get state aid and not marry you. You see what I'm saying?

You could have dated a girl who was more like yourself with the same ideals and goals, you could ask her to marry you with or without a ring and "wedding" and if she said "no" you could choose to walk away from her. You could have not had sex until marriage or used very good protection until you were ready for kids, married, and/or could at least afford them. I know there is nothing you can do about any of this now. But just whining and complaining about how bad your life is and how you are getting screwed isn't going to change anything either.

So really, I wish you luck and I hope you and your family can work everything out and get on the right foot.

 

[JGreen]

Obviously because nothing is your fault, you have no control over your own body, your own decisions, your own life. Everybody else is Fn you over and everything is happening to you right?

Seriously, I'm not actually trying to make you feel like crap and I'm not trying to even beat you up. I don't know you or anything about you. I just see/hear the same thing over and over these days, no one takes responsibility for their own lives and actions. Everyone thinks life just happens to them.

I don't think you are a bad guy at all, you kind of come off like you have an attitude but you probably have reason to. You claim you work hard and you love your boys and try to provide for them, I'm certainly not going to get down on you about that.

However, going back to before any of this happened, you had choices in your life. You chose to date this woman, you chose to continue doing so, you had to have gotten to know her and know what she is/was like. You chose to sleep with her before either knowing her very well or marrying her or getting engaged. You chose to not have one but two children out of wedlock with her, you chose to support her and let her get state aid and not marry you. You see what I'm saying?

You could have dated a girl who was more like yourself with the same ideals and goals, you could ask her to marry you with or without a ring and "wedding" and if she said "no" you could choose to walk away from her. You could have not had sex until marriage or used very good protection until you were ready for kids, married, and/or could at least afford them. I know there is nothing you can do about any of this now. But just whining and complaining about how bad your life is and how you are getting screwed isn't going to change anything either.

So really, I wish you luck and I hope you and your family can work everything out and get on the right foot.

No i'm not whining, i"m asking for advice on how to make things better the correct steps to take. Who gives a rat's ass about the past, yea I should've done things differently but posting things like you and SEVERAL others have only adds to the frustration when I'm trying to do right. It doesn't matter what happened then, it's already happened. What matters is what is the right thing to do to make it better for all 4 of us.
Also, yes I'm at fault for some of this. She's just as much at fault as I am. I don't understand why she expects a married type of life without any effort on her part whatsoever. I work hard and do everything I know to do (or else I wouldn't be here right?) I try to work with her but she thinks she should sit home while kids are in daycare and I pay for everything, that's why I"ve lost my trust with her. I need her help as well, she needs to step up and help OUR family out.

 

[JGreen]

also, I and I I I I I I I alone am owning up to my mistakes. I'm paying child support on the first child and am doing the best I possibly can to support my current family.
Neither mother has attempted to do .
So while I bust my ass to make ends meet and provide for both. The mothers will sit back and live off YOUR taxes and be lazy and not work while accepting fradulent government assistance. Now tell me who should get off thier ass and try a little harder.? After all if the mothers would work, gov. assistance would not be part of the issue, hell there wouldn't be an issue.
Also, people do change, she worked when I met her. After the years she got lazy and wants everything handed to her.

 

[VeronicaLodge]

No i'm not whining, i"m asking for advice on how to make things better the correct steps to take. Who gives a rat's ass about the past, yea I should've done things differently but posting things like you and SEVERAL others have only adds to the frustration when I'm trying to do right. It doesn't matter what happened then, it's already happened. What matters is what is the right thing to do to make it better for all 4 of us.
Also, yes I'm at fault for some of this. She's just as much at fault as I am. I don't understand why she expects a married type of life without any effort on her part whatsoever. I work hard and do everything I know to do (or else I wouldn't be here right?) I try to work with her but she thinks she should sit home while kids are in daycare and I pay for everything, that's why I"ve lost my trust with her. I need her help as well, she needs to step up and help OUR family out.

JGreen you are right and I have nothing against you! ok???? But if you hang around this site long enough and read enough posts you get tired of the same whoa is me crap, ya know? And you did come off in a rather harsh p*ssed off way. Sometimes its not what you say but the way you say it. So my apologies, I think you want to do the right thing and I think your babies mama is a piece of work. And I would really caution you about actually marrying her now, she sounds like she really would be out to get you if/when things didnt work out. and you would probably still be paying off a ring and wedding while financing a divorce! ouch. and then you would be on here getting advice about what to do about creditors and how to file bankruptcy.

friends?

 

[JGreen]

JGreen you are right and I have nothing against you! ok???? But if you hang around this site long enough and read enough posts you get tired of the same whoa is me crap, ya know? And you did come off in a rather harsh p*ssed off way. Sometimes its not what you say but the way you say it. So my apologies, I think you want to do the right thing and I think your babies mama is a piece of work. And I would really caution you about actually marrying her now, she sounds like she really would be out to get you if/when things didnt work out. and you would probably still be paying off a ring and wedding while financing a divorce! ouch. and then you would be on here getting advice about what to do about creditors and how to file bankruptcy.

friends?

It gave me chills reading this post. EXACTLY. That is my concern. I want what is best for my kids but at the same time I wanna look out for myself in the future. I'm just trying to take the correct "next step".
I couldn't have said it better myself, obviously.
Friends.

 

[ezmarelda]

Let's try this on for size, let her file for CS, let her get an order for CS, you start paying the court ordered amount of CS and nothing else, not her rent, not her cable...and tell her to buy her own dam ring

I'd be willing to bet that you would be paying a lot less.

 

[VeronicaLodge]

Let's try this on for size, let her file for CS, let her get an order for CS, you start paying the court ordered amount of CS and nothing else, not her rent, not her cable...and tell her to buy her own dam ring

I'd be willing to bet that you would be paying a lot less.

I love it! yeah try that.

ok I gotta run now. good luck JGreen!

 

[JGreen]

and I was and am p*ssed off because I feel like I'm getting used. I'm trying to explore other's expierences and learn from them.
I love this girl to death but I just don't understand why i have to give give give while she takes takes takes.
I mean we've gotten into it and she's even threatend to take the kids , "all [my] money" and "rip me a new *******"

 

[JGreen]

Let's try this on for size, let her file for CS, let her get an order for CS, you start paying the court ordered amount of CS and nothing else, not her rent, not her cable...and tell her to buy her own dam ring

I'd be willing to bet that you would be paying a lot less.

agreed.
but I'm trying to work things out and make em work for good. And as much as I hate to say this, if it came down to it which it may already have I'd work it out just to be able to see my kids. My kids are my life, period. I can't stand to think I can only see them twice a week or so.

 

[ezmarelda]

agreed.
but I'm trying to work things out and make em work for good. And as much as I hate to say this, if it came down to it which it may already have I'd work it out just to be able to see my kids. My kids are my life, period. I can't stand to think I can only see them twice a week or so.

I get that your kids are "your life"...however you can't have happy kids with miserable parents.
Ask yourself this, is she as in love with you as you are with her? Can you see yourself 10yrs down the road with her as the person she is proving herself to be not the person you know or wish she could/can be sometimes?

I know none of this is legal advice but sometimes you have to look at the non-legal issues to be able to sort out the legal issues that need to be addresed.

Good-luck...to you and the kiddos