summer visitation

[Supermomma]

What is the name of your state? dc

Again,

thanks all for your help so far. It has been quite a learning experience on this site so far and I look forward to learning more. Need some feedback.

Dad and I have pretty much agreed on everything in his parenting plan. He has agreed to me having sole custody, physically. I will provide him with all school, medical, and and other information upon his request. Visitation will be a standard EOW, EOH, EOB schedule, with alternate spring break.

Here is the only delimna. Dad is asking for 31 uninterrupted days in summer. Is this reasonable? DS is 11mos now. Wouldnt 4 one week periods be better? I prefer DS not be away from home for so long at such a young age (I voiced this concern before). I would think in a couple of years we can graduate to a month long visitation and eventually half the summer if he wants it. We have both agreed on everything else in his parenting plan (for now) but I guess the 31 days seems too long for now.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? dc

Again,

thanks all for your help so far. It has been quite a learning experience on this site so far and I look forward to learning more. Need some feedback.

Dad and I have pretty much agreed on everything in his parenting plan. He has agreed to me having sole custody, physically. I will provide him with all school, medical, and and other information upon his request. Visitation will be a standard EOW, EOH, EOB schedule, with alternate spring break.

Here is the only delimna. Dad is asking for 31 uninterrupted days in summer. Is this reasonable? DS is 11mos now. Wouldnt 4 one week periods be better? I prefer DS not be away from home for so long at such a young age (I voiced this concern before). I would think in a couple of years we can graduate to a month long visitation and eventually half the summer if he wants it. We have both agreed on everything else in his parenting plan (for now) but I guess the 31 days seems too long for now.

But does DS spend 31 uninterrupted days with you?

 

[Supermomma]

But does DS spend 31 uninterrupted days with you?

no, we have eow visitation in a temporary order currently.

 

[Just Blue]

no, we have eow visitation in a temporary order currently.

Have you discussed a "reverse plan" with him? With you getting EOE during the summer?

 

[Perky]

Have you discussed a "reverse plan" with him? With you getting EOE during the summer?

Ooooh... that's a good idea!
Somehow, I don't think she'll go for it.

 

[Supermomma]

Ooooh... that's a good idea!
Somehow, I don't think she'll go for it.

havnt discussed that. I think thats something we should graduate to overtime. Ill just ask that it be changed to 2, two week periods. Its still a months.

 

[Just Blue]

havnt discussed that. I think thats something we should graduate to overtime. Ill just ask that it be changed to 2, two week periods. Its still a months.

So its okay for the FATHER to only see his child EOW...But not you??

I'm sorry...WHY are you so special??

 

[CourtClerk]

I'm sorry...WHY are you so special??

Geez Bay... because she has a uterus...

Give the man his 31 uninterrupted days (July). You get EOW during that period. Switch in August. It's the child's father, not the ice cream man.

 

[profmum]

Here is the only delimna. Dad is asking for 31 uninterrupted days in summer. Is this reasonable? DS is 11mos now. Wouldnt 4 one week periods be better? I prefer DS not be away from home for so long at such a young age (I voiced this concern before). I would think in a couple of years we can graduate to a month long visitation and eventually half the summer if he wants it. We have both agreed on everything else in his parenting plan (for now) but I guess the 31 days seems too long for now.

That is long for a 1.5 yr old, see if Dad agrees to 2 2week periods.

 

[Just Blue]

That is long for a 1.5 yr old, see if Dad agrees to 2 2week periods.

But again...Why is okay for the child to go this long without seeing the father??? Please post the LEGAL reason this is okay....'cause she will have to explain this is mediation...

 

[profmum]

But again...Why is okay for the child to go this long without seeing the father??? Please post the LEGAL reason this is okay....'cause she will have to explain this is mediation...

because mum is primary caregiver, dad is EOW, and the child is too young at 1.5 yrs to go for that period of time from the primary caregiver. Legal "reason" needs to go hand in hand with common sense as well.

 

[CourtClerk]

because mum is primary caregiver, dad is EOW, and the child is too young at 1.5 yrs to go for that period of time from the primary caregiver. Legal "reason" needs to go hand in hand with common sense as well.

Common sense kind of lends itself to dads are just as important to children as moms are, and we need to stop watering down their existance in their child's lives so that we don't have continual posts on here about moms wanting to control visitation and having to go back and forth to mediation and arguing, fussing and fighting about how much time HE gets, when SHE gets all the time in the world.

However, I'm sure in the same breath, SHE would never allow for the CS to go down because HE spends 1 straight month with HIS child.

 

[LdiJ]

But again...Why is okay for the child to go this long without seeing the father??? Please post the LEGAL reason this is okay....'cause she will have to explain this is mediation...

Bay, no where in their schedule does the child go 31 days without seeing the father. Therefore way are you baiting this mother?

Dad AGREED to every other weekend, holiday, etc. The only issue they are disagreeing about is 31 days uninterrupted in the summer. The child is too young to go 31 days without seeing their primary caretaker. You know that, and I know that and so does everyone else.

There is nothing that she is going to have to explain in mediation, because the issue does not exist.

 

[CourtClerk]

You know that, and I know that and so does everyone else.

Actually, no everyone else doesn't... because people in the military do it all the time... with babies no less. A friend of mine is overseas right now and her 1 year old is living with his father.

My Stinkers had to stay away from me for 6 weeks when he was 6 months old because of a work obligation. He's just as well adjusted and attached to me many many years later as if I had never left... and you know what? He doesn't remember now that I left him with his father for that 6 weeks. He's not in need of psychological attention or anything. Imagine that...

If we believe your statement, I should need to have him in counseling because he didn't have his mommy around for that period of time.

 

[LdiJ]

Actually, no everyone else doesn't... because people in the military do it all the time... with babies no less. A friend of mine is overseas right now and her 1 year old is living with his father.

My Stinkers had to stay away from me for 6 weeks when he was 6 months old because of a work obligation. He's just as well adjusted and attached to me many many years later as if I had never left... and you know what? He doesn't remember now that I left him with his father for that 6 weeks. He's not in need of psychological attention or anything. Imagine that...

If we believe your statement, I should need to have him in counseling because he didn't have his mommy around for that period of time.

There are times when things like that cannot be helped, and if the child does ok, that's fine. However, this is a situation where its not necessary, and not particularly beneficial to anyone. Unless dad plans to travel someplace else with the child for those 31 days, there is no reason why it shouldn't be broken up. The child is too young to understand what is going on. The child will grieve for mom, and then, just when the child gets truly adjusted and accepts that mom is "gone", then the child will have to turn around and grieve for dad.

Its perfectly logical to break it up. The following summer, when the child is 2 1/2, it wouldn't be nearly the same problem.

Mom, maybe you should consider every other week for the entire summer. That would give dad a week or two more than he is asking for, but would be easier for your child to adjust to.