Gainful employment

[escape2paradise]

What you did was play right into your X's agenda. You reacted to her new stud and that I am sure was what your X was after. It's pretty obvious what she wanted. She could have sent the new stud to the store or waited, but she went instead knowing you were on the way. What you should have done was politely tell the new guy that you would just wait with junior in the car. You could have made some casual excuse that you needed to speak with the X.

You say you didn't want to stay with your son in the situation that was brewing, yet you played right into that situation and could have handled it much more maturely. Don't give the X what she is looking for here, have some pride, don't let her frazzle you. That will get to her more than anything.

 

[justadad-ky]

escape2paradise, you are probably 90% correct. The fact her "new stud" was there isn't why I left though. I left because #1. I did not know him and had no knowledge of him. (As I previously stated, I don't care about knowing him.) But I'm not leaving my son with a stranger. #2. I may have played into the ex's hands, she won that I assume. Kudos for her! I felt at the time, our son nor I should have been subjected to someone cussing and yelling especially at our sons father(i.e. me) who was doing a favor. Such language as "F-ing Prick, you're a looser, and a few other wonderful/ well choosen words, I don't feel a 2 y/o needs to hear. So again, if I played into her "hands", I hope she got a big kick out of it**************her choice and I don't care how she sees that situation.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not above defending myself if need be but then again, I am the one setting the example for our son and in my eyes and I'm not going to lower myself in our sons presence for some idiot.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

You can just tell your X that if SHE won't be at the drop off point, that she can tell you what time SHE will be there instead. She should have been polite enough to give you a jingle to say that she was running a little late (or whatever) and you have PERMISSION to leave your son with so-and-so. Just ask her for common courtesy, just as she would expect from you.

 

[justadad-ky]

We had a drop off at her house and the time was established. As I previously stated, this was her "trade." I think that escape2 paradise is correcct in the assumption that the prime motivation was to "show off her NEW stud." It Doesn't matter who she shows off but, I wish she would understand that fact. I think the whole situation was to create a conflict or drama. If I had left our son with him, then she would say I left him with a stranger. If I would have gotten into a verbal argument then "I" would be placing our son in a hostile environment. Those issues are very real in my situation. I think the choice I made to leave was my only logical and mature way to end the situation. At the time, I felt it was a no win situation. Over time, this isn't the only bullet I have had to dodge during this process.

I do agree with you on the respect and courtesy aspect and thank you.

That's what prompt the original question. Did I do anything legally wrong and could it be held against me?

 

[StampGirl]

Honestly, you should have just waited with your son in the car for her to come back from the store.

Or asked her BF to have her call when she was home and you would bring the boy back.

Or driven your son back when the Mom was home.

Granted, she should have been there and it was a very apparent disregard and flaunting of her new BF etc. I am not agreeing with what she did.

YOU can be the bigger person here. Then she has nothing to say.

The fact you didn't bring the child back is not going to be good in my opinion.

 

[justadad-ky]

I understand your position. It was "technically my day" She called me and asked if I could trade that day for this saturday. I had already had our son the entire day, she just wanted the overnight which was fine. I understand she is his parent also. I wont say she's a bad mother. However, BIG picture:
My day, I agreed to trade for her convience when she called in the evening, she postured her new boy toy, he became argumentative and disrespectful in front of my son, she called me threatening me for not leaving our son with a "stranger". I thank you for your response to my question. I hear everything each person says or try. I guess in retrospect, I still wouldn't have changed what I did and I will need to explain that in court.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ohiogal, No I didn't wait around ten mins, I just left. I didn't want to put our son in the middle of drama that was starting.

When she called me and was yelling/threatening me with attys, etc...no I did not take him back.

Then quite frankly you were an idiot. Or a moron. Or immature. Or game playing. Good grief. You are PART of the drama.

 

[Ohiogal]

I understand your position. It was "technically my day" She called me and asked if I could trade that day for this saturday. I had already had our son the entire day, she just wanted the overnight which was fine. I understand she is his parent also. I wont say she's a bad mother. However, BIG picture:
My day, I agreed to trade for her convience when she called in the evening, she postured her new boy toy, he became argumentative and disrespectful in front of my son, she called me threatening me for not leaving our son with a "stranger". I thank you for your response to my question. I hear everything each person says or try. I guess in retrospect, I still wouldn't have changed what I did and I will need to explain that in court.

So great. You decided to be as immature and use your "power" over the child to get at her -- two can play at that game seems to be your line of thinking. And people are going to disrespect you. GET OVER IT. You did the wrong thing.

In no way am I saying that she did the right thing, but YOU were wrong and YOU are the one who posted here.

 

[justadad-ky]

Ohiogal, thanks for your input. You are probably they same person that would condone another for drinking and driving with their child in the car. You are probably the same person that condones beating a person.....You are probably the same person that believes in putting a child in harms way because you are so jaded u can't see common sense if it hit you in the face.

Sit in a car with a screaming man at the window with your child there**************.....yeah you are right.

By the way, I didn't use my "power" over our son. But, I assume in your opinion because I am his father, I need not worry about his best interest or try in my best abilities to protect him, that's a mommies job......whatever.

You can post on my thread if you want. Any further information you have for me, I will not view as worthy so save yourself the time and stay off.

You're correct, maybe I should have stayed, got into a fight or a verbal conflict with the person**************that seems to be the only person you would respect.

I came here for answers, ban me if you want**************but I will never be as jaded as you.

 

[escape2paradise]

Ohiogal, thanks for your input. You are probably they same person that would condone another for drinking and driving with their child in the car. You are probably the same person that condones beating a person.....You are probably the same person that believes in putting a child in harms way because you are so jaded in your own self pitty you can't see common sense if it hit you in the face.

You can post on my thread if you want. Any further information you have for me, I will not view as worthy so save yourself the time and stay off.

You're correct, maybe I should have stayed, got into a fight or a verbal conflict with the person**************that seems to be the only person you would respect.

I came here for answers, ban me if you want**************but I will never be as jaded as you.

Sheesh, Ohiogal is not a jaded X. She is an attorney and Gaurdian Ad lidem (GAL). She is telling you how the courts are going to view your behavior. Your X may have set you up, but you played right into it. You should have done differently, quit playing the games. You should have waited in the car and like I said before, made some stupid excuse that you needed to talk to the X. I doubt boy toy would have had any comment for that. You chose to let him know that you had an issue with him. That is why he mouthed off, bad on his part, even more stupid on your part!

 

[StampGirl]

Ohiogal, thanks for your input. You are probably they same person that would condone another for drinking and driving with their child in the car. You are probably the same person that condones beating a person.....You are probably the same person that believes in putting a child in harms way because you are so jaded u can't see common sense if it hit you in the face.

Sit in a car with a screaming man at the window with your child there**************.....yeah you are right.

By the way, I didn't use my "power" over our son. But, I assume in your opinion because I am his father, I need not worry about his best interest or try in my best abilities to protect him, that's a mommies job......whatever.

You can post on my thread if you want. Any further information you have for me, I will not view as worthy so save yourself the time and stay off.

You're correct, maybe I should have stayed, got into a fight or a verbal conflict with the person**************that seems to be the only person you would respect.

I came here for answers, ban me if you want**************but I will never be as jaded as you.

Hmmm.... not good as OhioGAL is in fact a family law attorney and a GAL.

You didn't have to wait in front of the house. You could have driven around the corner, etc and waited till she got home.

The truth is that you SHOULD have gone back to Mom's house to drop off the child. And you didn't. Next time if you don't want to trade days with Mom, don't do it.

 

[Ohiogal]

Ohiogal, thanks for your input.

You are welcome. As for the rest of it you made a lot of assumptions which means quite frankly you are la réalisation d'un âne de vous vous le crétin stupide. Essayez de recevoir une éducation de que je auparavant suppose de nouveau.

You are probably they same person that would condone another for drinking and driving with their child in the car.

Nope.

You are probably the same person that condones beating a person.....

Nope.

You are probably the same person that believes in putting a child in harms way because you are so jaded u can't see common sense if it hit you in the face.

You think I am jaded? I am jaded because I have seen far too many parents play games in order to be "right" without seeing what that does to their child. And then those same parents that profess their love for their child out of one side of their mouth do damage to their child that borders on abusive with their actions.

Sit in a car with a screaming man at the window with your child there**************.....yeah you are right.

Now your story changes. You never mentioned a screaming man. But hey change the story to suit yourself.

By the way, I didn't use my "power" over our son. But, I assume in your opinion because I am his father, I need not worry about his best interest or try in my best abilities to protect him, that's a mommies job......whatever.

It has nothing to do with you being male. It has to do with you taking the child home and not returning him to his mother because it was YOUR "day" and because she was at the store and playing games. You were playing them too.

You can post on my thread if you want. Any further information you have for me, I will not view as worthy so save yourself the time and stay off.

Oh well. Poor baby.

You're correct, maybe I should have stayed, got into a fight or a verbal conflict with the person**************that seems to be the only person you would respect.

Nope. But you should have conducted yourself a heck of a lot better and not engaged in the drama and game playing that you are accusing your ex of playing.

I came here for answers, ban me if you want**************but I will never be as jaded as you.

And you also will never be as educated as I if you think I am jaded.

 

[justadad-ky]

The courts are going to view the actions of a father trying to protect his son AFTER I voluntarily gave the ex an overnight, she wasn't there at the time arrainged as negative. Thanks, like I said, I'll roll the dice any day on that one.

I DID NOT take him back because again, I was being threatened when she called and she wanted a conflict. I will not tell boy toy or wtfe that I needed to speak with the ex **************...that is playing games!

As for her being an atty, I don't care. I know plenty of atty. just so happens this isn't their area of expertise.

 

[StampGirl]

LOL @ the french... *digging out my translator*

There he is: I have a cute French translater. hehehehe

 

[StampGirl]

The courts are going to view the actions of a father trying to protect his son AFTER I voluntarily gave the ex an overnight, she wasn't there at the time arrainged as negative. Thanks, like I said, I'll roll the dice any day on that one.

I DID NOT take him back because again, I was being threatened when she called and she wanted a conflict. I will not tell boy toy or wtfe that I needed to speak with the ex **************...that is playing games!

As for her being an atty, I don't care. I know plenty of atty. just so happens this isn't their area of expertise.

The courts will see YOU and MOM playing GAMES with EACH OTHER and BOTH of you will be reprimanded like lil children that you are. TRUST ME.

Wanted to add: You and your ex sound like the kids on the block who get all pissy and mad when either of you doesn't get your way. They cry and threaten "I am going to take my hockey net and puck and go home if you don't play the game the way I want to play". Yeah I played hockey so hence a hockey reference.

Grow up. BOTH of you were wrong.

My EX gets his "you-know-what" handed to him continually when we are in court for being a baby and playing games.

YOU gave mom the overnight. Fine. Follow through and the JUDGE will see that you are being accomodating. Give it to her then TAKE it away, and the JUDGE will see you as a game-playing baby which you are.