Gainful employment

[justadad-ky]

I didn't change my story**************..but thanks

I am not the guy that uses his child as a tool or pawn. I believe he has the god given right to be with both parents as much as possible. I believe he has a right to love each parent the same and both parents have an obligation to love him each and every day and not take him for granted. I also believe that he should never be placed in the middle of any argument.

I am a smarter person then you give me credit because as you being an atty, I already know that you can talk out of both sides of your mouth and never ever have any regrets. settle the case and move on**************..I assume that was Latin you wrote.....sorry I'm not as smart as you**************at least I always say thank you**************.. I was wrong, apparently it was French.....editing because I'm wrong ha ha

 

[StampGirl]

No you aren't a smarter person than anyone here has given you credit for.

That wasnt Latin, it was FRENCH. Sheesh.

 

[justadad-ky]

Seems, this post has gotten off track.

I apologize for any inappropriate comments I have made,

My son is my only family I have left and his situation I am very passionate over.

Thanks for all the comments, negative, positive and/or indifferent.

 

[escape2paradise]

The courts are going to view the actions of a father trying to protect his son AFTER I voluntarily gave the ex an overnight, she wasn't there at the time arrainged as negative. Thanks, like I said, I'll roll the dice any day on that one.

Funny, the very reason you started this thread was to ask if you were likely to get in trouble with the court. If you were so certain, as your statement above indicates, why waste everybody's time.

As for the saying you needed to talk to the ex. What's wrong with making a small excuse to avoid a conflict. Everybody agree's your X was wrong, but you were too! Hey, keep on keepin' on so you can be "Right" let your child pay the consequences.

 

[justadad-ky]

escape2paradise you are correct. I did start this thread for some help. I got it.

I wont sit here and make any excuses about my actions or in actions. I argued with people that have far more experience then I when it comes to manipulating words, playing on emotions, etc. In 1 persons opinion I was right, in another's opinion, I was wrong. Depends on what side of the fence you want to put yourself on.

My son is everything to me and far more then I could ever put into words on this site. And my case is far more complicated then I care to share. With that, I will handle myself differently the next time this occurs because I am thinking about my son and what he needs from me.

Thank you for the time to respond.

 

[justadad-ky]

Weekend exchange

I would like to say that I DO learn from my mistakes and even though I can become argumentative, I do try to do the right thing, I'm not perfect. The situation and problem is as follows:

On Friday night, we had a bad winter snow storm. Approximately 12 or so inches of snow were on the ground. The state ordered that no one should or attempt to drive until 9am on saturday. The ex as a result of some other previous issues was going to have our son on Saturday @ 10am as a normal exchange.

As a result of the heavy snow, I contacted the ex on saturday morning around 8am and asked her is she wanted me to drop our son off at the usual exchange time, trade the day or wait until later in the day to exchange when the roads would hopefully get better. The ex stated that she wanted him at the usual time. I said the roads are hazardous and I don't have a 4 wheel drive vehicle and I wasn't refusing to work with her but I didn't think I should be driving on the bad roads with him in the car. The ex said, get him here and hung up.

I contacted a family friend who had a 4 wheel drive vehicle that offered to assist me. We took my son to his mothers. When we arrived, she came out in a panic and more or less swept up our son and ran into the house. We didn't exchange any words.

As we drive home, I received a text from the ex saying how much she greatly appreciated me getting our son to her despite how bad the roads were. I responded simply by saying no problem.

Since then, last night I received a text from the ex which basically stated that "I put our son in harms way by putting him in a car and driving him on such horrible roads, and I didn't act like a responsible parent. And, she was VERY concerned with my judgment. We could have traded!"

Like I said, my parenting thoughts are far more different then wanting to put our son in a car. But, as I read on here, it's not about ME but is about what is best for our son. I made alternative plans to get him to her and still continue to get my b@ll's busted! (Just frustrated).

The question is: From her tone of voice, I have not heard the end of this. Legally, is she correct? Can she use this as a chance/opportunity to get custody revisited based on my "Poor Judgment" regarding this situation?"

I'm at a loss****************************...I honestly just want what's best for our son!

Btw, I know I had a hand in the creation of this problem if only I would have went back or waited from the other day.

 

[haiku]

unless the governor closed the roads....no.

 

[justadad-ky]

thank you. he had closed them until 9am. I did not leave the house until around 9:30am.

thanks again..

 

[Silverplum]

thank you. he had closed them until 9am. I did not leave the house until around 9:30am.

thanks again..

If this is how she's going to act, then you should impose a firm EMAIL RULE. Let her know you want these things in writing. Not texts to your phone: EMAILS.

She wants to trade? She may email you and you may reply in kind. Same with you.

That'll put a stop to some of her games, at least.

And while we are discussing having stuff in writing, you should go to the DOT website (or your state's website, or the local news station website) and PRINT and FILE the info about the bad weather and road closures, also the travel "suggestion" to stay off the roads.

 

[justadad-ky]

Silverplum, first thank you and second, I do apologize for my behavior. I know I'm not the easiest poster on this board to deal with. I have my "SAD" story as most do here but it is "my" story and I will spare the details. I know I haven't made to many friends here (but, I didn't come here for friends I guess) However, I also know that I'm not so arrogant to not reflect on what is offered here and truly work in our son's best interests and not just talk about it. Makes me a better person to read and helps me be a better parent I think as the case this weekend. Not that I agree with my own decision to put him on the road but, he did get to be with his mother.

I do thank you again for your input and suggestions and I will listen and doo what you suggest.

 

[Silverplum]

You're welcome.

I appreciate your words, and I'm fairly sure I can speak for some others and say they do/will, also. No one has to be perfect; what we want is for folks to learn how to deal with the law and to coparent. It was pretty dang big of you to type that. 97% of posters never even say "thank you."

All is well in Wonderland, dude. It's Monday, the time changed the wrong way, and I'm still reasonably cheerful. Something good must be in the air!

 

[Ohiogal]

Poster schätze ich Ihre Entschuldigung. Und ich verstehe, was es Sie ist, versuchen, für Ihr Kind zu tun. Begreifen Sie jedoch, dass Sie für die Handlungen von Ihrem ab nicht verantwortlich sind. Sie sind nur dafür verantwortlich, wie Sie antworten. Ihre Absicht sollte sein, sich über all dem zu erheben und die größeren von zwei von Ihnen zu sein. Antworten Sie immer in der Art und mit der Güte, und Sie werden die bessere Person sein. Und Ihr Kind wird in erster Linie Vorteil haben.


Now I am going to go crazy because it has started to snow yet again! ARRGH!

 

[TheGeekess]

Poster schätze ich Ihre Entschuldigung. Und ich verstehe, was es Sie ist, versuchen, für Ihr Kind zu tun. Begreifen Sie jedoch, dass Sie für die Handlungen von Ihrem ab nicht verantwortlich sind. Sie sind nur dafür verantwortlich, wie Sie antworten. Ihre Absicht sollte sein, sich über all dem zu erheben und die größeren von zwei von Ihnen zu sein. Antworten Sie immer in der Art und mit der Güte, und Sie werden die bessere Person sein. Und Ihr Kind wird in erster Linie Vorteil haben.


Now I am going to go crazy because it has started to snow yet again! ARRGH!

I like German. Took it in college.

Senden Sie mir einige Schnee! Ich hatte Schnee frühen Samstagmorgen, und es war vorbei Mitte-Morgen ....

 

[justadad-ky]

Games? (lengthy)

Hello to everyone..first my state is Kentucky. Second, I hope I am posting in the correct location. Here is the current situation which appears to always be fluid:

The ex is bitter, states that I "ruined her life." I would beg to differ on that nevertheless, as pertains to our son I have always asked that we NOT discuss/speak of him via text or e-mail. I am of the mindset that our son is far more important then to discuss through that formate and not verbally. Anyways, she insisted on using text, etc. for contact.

The other night, she began to text me and which each reply I gave her which was honest with no BS, she would say....Why are you mad? I would indicate I was not mad what so ever and she would reiterate the comment to the point, I was getting mad.

Last night she called me around 10:30 p and stated that our son had a high temp. and that she contacted the Dr. who advised her to keep an eye on him. Now, this is where the twist enters, in my mind, at 4am she sends a text msg that our son was feeling better and his temp was lower. I replied with "ok, We will see how he feels in the morning." She has called twice since then and has text inreference to our son and how he is feeling 2 times. So I asked, why the back and forth call, text, etc why not just communicate. She responded with "I didn't mean to irritate you, or make you mad, I was curious how his temp was doing. " i did give the answer to her as well as followed up at the peds office.

My stupid question is this, since I foresee a custody "battle" in the very near future based on her actions, is there a legal strategic value to what she is doing by texting, her comments to me and my emotional state and then to call?

I know this is nothing but drama but any advice or assistance would be apprecaited.

Thank you

 

[penelope10]

Hello to everyone..first my state is Kentucky. Second, I hope I am posting in the correct location. Here is the current situation which appears to always be fluid:

The ex is bitter, states that I "ruined her life." I would beg to differ on that nevertheless, as pertains to our son I have always asked that we NOT discuss/speak of him via text or e-mail. I am of the mindset that our son is far more important then to discuss through that formate and not verbally. Anyways, she insisted on using text, etc. for contact.

The other night, she began to text me and which each reply I gave her which was honest with no BS, she would say....Why are you mad? I would indicate I was not mad what so ever and she would reiterate the comment to the point, I was getting mad.

Last night she called me around 10:30 p and stated that our son had a high temp. and that she contacted the Dr. who advised her to keep an eye on him. Now, this is where the twist enters, in my mind, at 4am she sends a text msg that our son was feeling better and his temp was lower. I replied with "ok, We will see how he feels in the morning." She has called twice since then and has text inreference to our son and how he is feeling 2 times. So I asked, why the back and forth call, text, etc why not just communicate. She responded with "I didn't mean to irritate you, or make you mad, I was curious how his temp was doing. " i did give the answer to her as well as followed up at the peds office.

My stupid question is this, since I foresee a custody "battle" in the very near future based on her actions, is there a legal strategic value to what she is doing by texting, her comments to me and my emotional state and then to call?

I know this is nothing but drama but any advice or assistance would be apprecaited.

Thank you

Well frankly, who cares what her motivations are---seems that you answered the question correctly if you did not get into the emotions---Stay that course and you will be fine. Of course when a child is sick, etc. there should be some decent verbal communication regarding the child. Some people like to call and text. (My 13 year old). I personally prefer phone calls since doing a text message drives me crazy. (I multi task so calls are better for me).

Switching a visitation schedule is sometimes best done by email since usually it is a non emergency issue and is best kept for backup. (As means to refresh one's memory should a mix up occur etc).