Excessive Doctor Visits?

[wileybunch]

Perhaps thats something dad could do legally? Ask that the primary doctor manage the issues, not mom?

I don't know, seems like a bit of a long shot. No one is REQUIRED to do that, it's just a good way to manage over all health issues. But, then some also see having a PCP as an obstacle.

 

[proud_parent]

that's what first came to my mind

Have you heard the saying: When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras?

Although it's sometimes fun to make armchair diagnoses, not every mother who runs to the doctor at every cough and sniffle has a mental disorder. I am in the camp of those who believe that Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy/FII is absolutely a real medical phenomenon; there are several prominent mental health professionals who do not. But despite the sensational coverage of such cases by the media, the disorder is NOT common.

Fact is there are an awful lot of oversensitive and overcontrolling parents out there, many of them divorced (and at least half of them mothers). That doesn't mean they're all wack jobs.

 

[lealea1005]

So???????? The pain continued and Doctor scheduled a scan to rule out a problem. How is that an issue? What is it that Dad wants anyway? Full legal custody? A court order that Mom may not take child to the doctor unless she is bleeding out of her eyes?

The only thing is, a bone scan is kind of like shooting a fly with a bazooka if the daughter is complaining of shin splints after starting track. IMHO, I think Doc may be hearing bells and whistles with Mom and is covering his behind by ordering the bone scan.

Edit to add: Just with the information given I'm also thinking MSbP...however, we are getting one side of the story.

 

[txrose1998]

Have you heard the saying: When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras?

Although it's sometimes fun to make armchair diagnoses, not every mother who runs to the doctor at every cough and sniffle has a mental disorder. I am in the camp of those who believe that Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy/FII is absolutely a real medical phenomenon; there are several prominent mental health professionals who do not. But despite the sensational coverage of such cases by the media, the disorder is NOT common.

Fact is there are an awful lot of oversensitive and overcontrolling parents out there, many of them divorced (and at least half of them mothers). That doesn't mean they're all wack jobs.

You are right, of course. Even some pyschologists and social workers do it. When my daughter was a baby, I took her to the ER for almost everything! By about the fifth visit, the sent a social worker in asking me all sorts of questions implying MBP. Of course, the realy culprit was first time mother syndrome.

 

[proud_parent]

Of course, the realy culprit was first time mother syndrome.

Well, yeah...but we all know that we first-time moms ARE wack jobs. It's that "pregnancy fog" thing lingering after delivery.

 

[txrose1998]

Well, yeah...but we all know that we first-time moms ARE wack jobs. It's that "pregnancy fog" thing lingering after delivery.

They have done all sorts of studies about female brain's shrinking after childbirth!

 

[mommyof4]

The only thing is, a bone scan is kind of like shooting a fly with a bazooka if the daughter is complaining of shin splints after starting track. IMHO, I think Doc may be hearing bells and whistles with Mom and is covering his behind by ordering the bone scan.

Edit to add: Just with the information given I'm also thinking MSbP...however, we are getting one side of the story.

I have a relative who is diagnosed with MBPS. This sounds NOTHING like it. It sounds like an over protective parent. My husband's mother is like the mother being discussed in this thread. I can't tell you the number of times we have gotten into it because I refuse to take my children to the doctor for every little ache and sniffle. She is convinced they have serious health conditions that are just waiting to be diagnosed. I am convinced they are normal kids who sometimes catch a cold or bonk their heads.

I would also point out (at the risk of sounding sexist and condescending) that Dad may not be in tune with what goes on with a female body, especially a female body that is still developing. There's more to girls medical care than 'bend over and cough'. So, what may seem excessive to him may not actually be excessive.

 

[penelope10]

I'm one of those Moms who errs on the side of caution. Now I don't take Lil Bit to the Doc for every bruise and bump. But ya know sometimes the first or second time you go to the doc. does not clear up the problem. I.E. Lil Bit used to complain of stomaches on and off. (I thought it was simply that she was hungry when I picked her up from daycare) Then one day she came down with what I thought was a stomach flu. Took her to the doc and she thought the same. Lil Bit started throwing up on and off for a month. Dr. finally sent Lil Bit to a specialist. Ended up Lil Bit had a esophagal hernia. Had to do the whole scope thing in the hospital. With meds it got much better, plus as she got older the hernia closed.

During the exam the Gastric Dr. heard an irregular heart beat. We went back to the regular Dr. again. (Reg Dr. was surprised because she had never heard the problem during routine exams). On that exam this Dr. heard it too. We were then sent to a Cardiologist who confirmed after tests that Lil Bit has mitral valve prolapse. Not a serious case, but Lil Bit has to be SUPER careful if she gets strep, and is put on antibiotics when she gets her teeth cleaned etc.(Ends up the heart murmur only shows up when Lil Bit is nervous) Every 3 years Lil Bit has a follow up with the Cardiologist to make sure nothing has changed.

So sometimes Mom can appear to be a drama queen, or the kiddo can, and it ends up there really is something wrong. Don't know if this is true in the case or not......

And by the way Lil Bit was my third, not my first! (And bet ya there are times when the ex would like to call me a wacko too---LOL)

 

[Isis1]

They have done all sorts of studies about female brain's shrinking after childbirth!

that would so explain a LOT of things

 

[proud_parent]

that would so explain a LOT of things

Such as why any of us ever become second (even fourth!) time moms, eh?

 

[Isis1]

Such as why any of us ever become second (even fourth!) time moms, eh?

nature's way of making sure we still produce

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes, and some of the appointments he is the one taking the daughter. The daughter complains "<blank> hurts", doctor looks and pushes around in the area, and then either schedules some type of test or medication, and the tests more than likely show nothing. Mom always schedules appointments with specialists rather than the regular doctor, as no referral is required.

I honestly first thought that maybe mom was doing it for financial reasons, presenting the bill to both her medical reimbursement account and also dad, and getting reimbursed from both....but I think that may be far fetched to go to that extreme.

So therefore it is not excessive doctor's appointments but rather excessive complaints from daughter? 6 therapy appointments is not a lot. How many times the OB? Once a year is normal -- more if the child is using birth control of some type and/or sexually active. If dad is also taking the daughter why do YOU put the blame on mom?

 

[Ohiogal]

Here is an example:

Daughter did track last year, at the beginning daughter complained her legs were sore from running. Mom said it's probably shin splints and scheduled an appointment with an orthopedist. Dad was at appointment also, doctor said well, your legs will be sore if you just started, but if it continues we might have to do some tests. A week later mom notified dad that daughter was having a bone scan in a few weeks. How the mom convinced the doctor to schedule it, who knows.

Mom cannot just convince a doctor to schedule tests -- unless the doctor is trying to commit malpractice. The doctor apparently thought it was a good idea.

 

[Ohiogal]

Perhaps thats something dad could do legally? Ask that the primary doctor manage the issues, not mom?

How then should the child EVER go to the doctor -- if the Primary doctor is the one with final say so? He is NOT the child's parent and does not raise the child. that is a PARENTAL decision. Dad needs to actually TALK to mom. How is that for a suggestion? When he is taking daughter as well -- guess what -- he is then part of the problem that YOU are here griping about.

 

[profmum]

I think Mum is simply an over protective parent and there is nothing terribly wrong with that. I manage all of DDs appts, she recently had a cough and fatigue that was not getting any better, I took her to the peds 3 times, her dad thought I was being "excessive", turns out in her 3rd strep culture she had a brand new and debilitating form of strep that has recently surged in CO. She was immediately treated and was back on her feet in 2-3 days. Her ped was glad that I was as persistent as I was.. and her Dad (despite his you are being "excessive" comments) was glad as well and talked to the ped as well to confirm things.

So Dad has options here before running into court.