Visitation Guidelines

[TheGeekess]

Ok, so I'm curious:

What do you folks consider a "Blizzard"?

Bham metro is fairly hilly. We ended up with ~18" of snow in a few hours. The city was closed for 3-4 days. I was working at a hospital located on a hill; it was my off weekend, but I ended up snowed in with everyone else (since I had to cover my Friday evening shift).
When we were standing out in front of the hospital, we could tell who the out-of-towners were; they were the ones making it up the mountain!

We actually had thunder snow; it was cool, watching it lightning and thundering over the ridges while it was snowing.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I will do that, I have bought son a pre-paid phone (NCP does not have a landline) and I have set-up email address and IM for son as well. I guess I need to include that too huh?

Ask Zephyr for the wording of virtual visitation. I know that she had it added to her C.O. You might want some verbage that if the child is with the other parent for more than (you fill in the blank) days, that you can have x amount of calls, etc.

My X liked to avoid the calls, but this summer, my little one and I have been emailing so that works well.

 

[wnbama]

Ask Zephyr for the wording of virtual visitation. I know that she had it added to her C.O. You might want some verbage that if the child is with the other parent for more than (you fill in the blank) days, that you can have x amount of calls, etc.

My X liked to avoid the calls, but this summer, my little one and I have been emailing so that works well.

Thank you, I will ask her!

 

[Zephyr]

Ask Zephyr for the wording of virtual visitation. I know that she had it added to her C.O. You might want some verbage that if the child is with the other parent for more than (you fill in the blank) days, that you can have x amount of calls, etc.

My X liked to avoid the calls, but this summer, my little one and I have been emailing so that works well.

for virtual visitation, I would include, and this should be usable by both you AND dad

During such times as the child is with either parent for a period of 7 days or longer the child shall have the right to

Daily telephone contact with the other parent

One hour of virtual visitation per seven day period, virtual visitation for the purposes of this order is defined as: email, instant messaging, online game play, and webcam conversations.

The one hour of virtual visitation may be used whole or split into two half hour segments as the parties agree.

The parties shall make arrangements for virtual visitations in writing or email 4 days prior to the virtual visitation.

Virtual visitation may not be denied for the reason of an inconvenient time was requested, if scheduling is an issue the party making the initial denial shall offer an alternative time. The parties have a duty to facilitate communication between the child and the other parent.

 

[jbowman]

I tried that last year. My son missed my Birthday and I missed his Birthday and the NCP will not ALLOW any contact while son is with him. Then, this year my son begged me not to make him go (that long ever again)5 weeks straight without being able to talk to me.So, I broke it up.

Oh I meant 7 weeks straight with you getting EOW. So it would only be a two week time period that you wouldnt see kiddo. Im doing it now --my kiddo is gone-- and it is working out great.

Plus you can always add the birthday thing into the agreement.

 

[wnbama]

Thanks!!

for virtual visitation, I would include, and this should be usable by both you AND dad

During such times as the child is with either parent for a period of 7 days or longer the child shall have the right to

Daily telephone contact with the other parent

One hour of virtual visitation per seven day period, virtual visitation for the purposes of this order is defined as: email, instant messaging, online game play, and webcam conversations.

The one hour of virtual visitation may be used whole or split into two half hour segments as the parties agree.

The parties shall make arrangements for virtual visitations in writing or email 4 days prior to the virtual visitation.

Virtual visitation may not be denied for the reason of an inconvenient time was requested, if scheduling is an issue the party making the initial denial shall offer an alternative time. The parties have a duty to facilitate communication between the child and the other parent.

Thanks, I will add this as well..

Oh I meant 7 weeks straight with you getting EOW. So it would only be a two week time period that you wouldnt see kiddo. Im doing it now --my kiddo is gone-- and it is working out great.

Plus you can always add the birthday thing into the agreement.

Not a bad idea at all, I will consider it for sure!


To everyone THANK YOU for the hard work and FREE advice that you do everyday on this forum, it is greatly appreciated.

I will come back after court on Monday and let everyone know what happens!

 

[stealth2]

Our order states that Dad gets the kids the Friday after school ends (we don't finish until mid-June) until the weekend before school starts (Labor Day), and they come home for a week in July and a week in August. The kids always had a hard time with it.

Of course, things change as they get older. This summer they've been to see him for a week. Well, actually, this year they've been to see him for a week. His choice. <shrug> They're busy with their own stuff, so aren't bothered.

(edit) About "blizzards"... we had one time when we got 3 feet of snow overnight. Everything stayed open - schools, businesses, etc. That was fun. Of course, it was in Syracuse, so they're more prepared for that kind of weather.

 

[LdiJ]

Our order states that Dad gets the kids the Friday after school ends (we don't finish until mid-June) until the weekend before school starts (Labor Day), and they come home for a week in July and a week in August. The kids always had a hard time with it.

Of course, things change as they get older. This summer they've been to see him for a week. Well, actually, this year they've been to see him for a week. His choice. <shrug> They're busy with their own stuff, so aren't bothered.

(edit) About "blizzards"... we had one time when we got 3 feet of snow overnight. Everything stayed open - schools, businesses, etc. That was fun. Of course, it was in Syracuse, so they're more prepared for that kind of weather.

I never would have thought that he would ever get to the point where he would choose not to exercise his visitation. He was always so anal about everything. Go figure.

 

[wnbama]

Update

Had court this morning for visitation. NCP did show up with SM and a lawyer. Both lawyers requested for her to stay in the waiting room. D he he) NCP agreed on everything, wanted to add that he has access to all school and medical records. Of course I agreed on that....well actually he already has the right to them BUT he didnt' know that. He agreed to let me put in the paperwork that I have sole physical custody. To Start on Aug 1st as EOW!

My lawyer was going to ask the judge to dismiss the TRO once we had the CO visitation in place. However, the TRO paperwork got "misplaced" It was transfered down from the other county, but the new county did nothing with it. We my lawyer could not ask for it to be dismissed.

They assigned a GAL to our case and neither lawyer knew it. She would not sign off on it till sometings happen.

1- We find the TRO paperwork and have it either accepted or denied by the Judge.

2- If it is denied for transfer, then we have to go back to the other county and get it settled FIRST.

3- GAL wants to interview my son.

Therefore we could not go forward with anything. His lawyer wanted me to let him see his son for the next 2 weekends. I would not accept that, My lawyer told his that until a Judge signed off on the CO and the TRO was taken care of that he would not be seeing his son. However, he could call his son, on his son's prepaid pay.

His Lawyer told him in front of me and my lawyer that SM was a legal stranger and she was not a party to this case and she was to have NOTHING to do with me. He was to keep her as far away from me as possible. He was not to have her call me, email me or speak to me for ANY reason. He also told him that he was to give me his nextel ID so we could speak to each other with out going through her cell phone.

SM was in the waiting room and my lawyer had to step outside to answer his cell. He told me while he was out there SM was telling some guy she was sitting next to that "We are here to get FULL CUSTODY of her step son" WE wasn't even there for custody....

I guess I am back at the waiting game, waiting on the TRO to be found, then for the GAL to let me know when to bring my son in for his interview. With the county this is in, it might be another 5-6 months before all of this happens. Hopefully I will know a new date soon!

 

[penelope10]

Had court this morning for visitation. NCP did show up with SM and a lawyer. Both lawyers requested for her to stay in the waiting room. D he he) NCP agreed on everything, wanted to add that he has access to all school and medical records. Of course I agreed on that....well actually he already has the right to them BUT he didnt' know that. He agreed to let me put in the paperwork that I have sole physical custody. To Start on Aug 1st as EOW!

My lawyer was going to ask the judge to dismiss the TRO once we had the CO visitation in place. However, the TRO paperwork got "misplaced" It was transfered down from the other county, but the new county did nothing with it. We my lawyer could not ask for it to be dismissed.

They assigned a GAL to our case and neither lawyer knew it. She would not sign off on it till sometings happen.

1- We find the TRO paperwork and have it either accepted or denied by the Judge.

2- If it is denied for transfer, then we have to go back to the other county and get it settled FIRST.

3- GAL wants to interview my son.

Therefore we could not go forward with anything. His lawyer wanted me to let him see his son for the next 2 weekends. I would not accept that, My lawyer told his that until a Judge signed off on the CO and the TRO was taken care of that he would not be seeing his son. However, he could call his son, on his son's prepaid pay.

His Lawyer told him in front of me and my lawyer that SM was a legal stranger and she was not a party to this case and she was to have NOTHING to do with me. He was to keep her as far away from me as possible. He was not to have her call me, email me or speak to me for ANY reason. He also told him that he was to give me his nextel ID so we could speak to each other with out going through her cell phone.

SM was in the waiting room and my lawyer had to step outside to answer his cell. He told me while he was out there SM was telling some guy she was sitting next to that "We are here to get FULL CUSTODY of her step son" WE wasn't even there for custody....

I guess I am back at the waiting game, waiting on the TRO to be found, then for the GAL to let me know when to bring my son in for his interview. With the county this is in, it might be another 5-6 months before all of this happens. Hopefully I will know a new date soon!

Sorry you couldn't get everything resolved at once.

Sounds like everybody is on the same page about SM (What a bonehead)

 

[LdiJ]

Sorry you couldn't get everything resolved at once.

Sounds like everybody is on the same page about SM (What a bonehead)

I think it was a bit presumptious of the GAL to refuse to sign off on something that the two parents were AGREEING to.

I am kind of surprized that the two attorneys didn't take it back to the judge to ask that the GAL be overridden.

 

[wnbama]

I think it was a bit presumptious of the GAL to refuse to sign off on something that the two parents were AGREEING to.

I am kind of surprized that the two attorneys didn't take it back to the judge to ask that the GAL be overridden.

From what I understood, she wouldn't sign off on it becuase I didn't bring my son to be interviewed and the TRO paperwork had been "misplaced". BUT neither attorney even knew the GAL was involved. I thought that was kinda strange.

Also, the NCP was pro se as of Friday afternoon and he did not retain his attorney until then, which is the same one that handled his CS case. (He had fired that lawyer a while back, according to the NCP)

I didn't know that the Lawyers could go to the Judge and have the GAL overridden.

 

[LdiJ]

From what I understood, she wouldn't sign off on it becuase I didn't bring my son to be interviewed and the TRO paperwork had been "misplaced". BUT neither attorney even knew the GAL was involved. I thought that was kinda strange.

Also, the NCP was pro se as of Friday afternoon and he did not retain his attorney until then, which is the same one that handled his CS case. (He had fired that lawyer a while back, according to the NCP)

I didn't know that the Lawyers could go to the Judge and have the GAL overridden.

My concern is that dad would have signed off on things if you had finalized them today.....now he is going to have to go back home and listen to SM bitch about the fact that things didn't go the way that SHE wanted them to go, and then the agreement might be off the table.

 

[wnbama]

My concern is that dad would have signed off on things if you had finalized them today.....now he is going to have to go back home and listen to SM bitch about the fact that things didn't go the way that SHE wanted them to go, and then the agreement might be off the table.

It's been sucha day, I didn't even think of that one! However, NCP or his lawyer did not take the copy of the agreement with them, my lawyer has the only copy except for me, that's becuase I typed it! Maybe HIS lawyer talked to him good enough that he will finally stand up to the SM!

 

[cntryhrt]

Your post/descussion here has helped me more than you could understand. I already know my decree/visitaion needs to be modified. Your visitation schedule you have listed has given me somewhere to start! I know every case is different, but I am also having problems with the new SM.

Good luck in your future and thanks for a direction!