Please help re: vacation time

[doc2b]

Yes, it's a matter of semantics. However, when the person who's searching for information from other threads comes across your being told you need to take it to court, it propagates the belief that the spouse has the right to do so. Which, we know, is untrue.

I see...I'll walk away now

 

[CJane]

If Mom is simply Dad's 'daycare' and 'her' daytime ours aren't really 'HERS' per the CO, but 'HIS' that he's working during and due to ROFR he basically HAS to let her have them... then she can't deny him that time if he'll be with the kids.

Take the vacation. Reschedule the dental appointment. Tell Mom she'll have to choose another day for her vacation day.

 

[Farfalla]

When you all get back from vacation, dad reall does need to go back to court to get a parenting plan that can be understood and followed. Mom might honestly understand it differently and not be trying to be a pain. It's far from clear.

 

[majomom1]

Yes, it's a matter of semantics. However, when the person who's searching for information from other threads comes across your being told you need to take it to court, it propagates the belief that the spouse has the right to do so. Which, we know, is untrue.

Thank you Stealth... I know that. I just forgot that we were not dealing directly with the parent.

I know better than to do that and should have written accordingly!!!

 

[doc2b]

If Mom is simply Dad's 'daycare' and 'her' daytime ours aren't really 'HERS' per the CO, but 'HIS' that he's working during and due to ROFR he basically HAS to let her have them... then she can't deny him that time if he'll be with the kids.

Take the vacation. Reschedule the dental appointment. Tell Mom she'll have to choose another day for her vacation day.

In the CO, she is given those hours during the day (Wednesday, Thursday and Friday) from 9am until 6pm (dad's working hours). In the final draft, his attorney forgot to add a stip stating that on his off days, he would get the kids during the day. Nowhere does it say she is simply an alternative to daycare. His attorney said it was "implied". (Again, a doofus). Hubby basically figured it would be a good idea for him to give mom the days with the kids since she wasn't working and give her more CS to compensate, rather than paying a daycare. Now, she is working and ends up giving them to her friends to watch anyway...what a bleeping mess.

Can he really tell her to choose another vacation day though? Not to mention, the day we come back from vacation, is the last day of their summer break and she gets them for the Labor Day weekend. There is no other time for her to take any of his days.

And on a ranting side note, I know I don't count, but I'm sad that I never get them during the day when he can't excercise his ROFR...they have a new little brother that adores them and we have fun together But, that's her right (not to mention she hates my guts)

 

[doc2b]

When you all get back from vacation, dad reall does need to go back to court to get a parenting plan that can be understood and followed. Mom might honestly understand it differently and not be trying to be a pain. It's far from clear.

I used to have that kind of optimism...after two years of this, it's quite clear from where I'm standing. She only understands it differently when it works in her favor or she's got a hair up her butt about something else.

I wish it wasn't the case, but I'm slowly accepting the fact that I have a lifetime left of this nonsense.

 

[majomom1]

I used to have that kind of optimism...after two years of this, it's quite clear from where I'm standing. She only understands it differently when it works in her favor or she's got a hair up her butt about something else.

I wish it wasn't the case, but I'm slowly accepting the fact that I have a lifetime left of this nonsense.

No. DAD can go to court and get clarification, or modify, so there is no more nonsense.

 

[doc2b]

No. DAD can go to court and get clarification, or modify, so there is no more nonsense.

I meant her giving him issues about every little thing...it's not just CO issues. But yes, I agree that he would have a much more enjoyable experience with the kiddos if the weird stuff in the CO got clarified once and for all. It's too bad there isn't a one size fits all parenting plan...

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Call your FOC worker and ASK. Explain the situation.

Write a letter to the FOC and whatever you do, go back for clarification.

I'm living with a crappy order too, and the folks here KNOW the grief I have over it.

 

[doc2b]

Call your FOC worker and ASK. Explain the situation.

Write a letter to the FOC and whatever you do, go back for clarification.

I'm living with a crappy order too, and the folks here KNOW the grief I have over it.

His attorney recommended that he waive the FOC to make things easier, and he agreed to (he trusted her reasoning-she told him FOC often gets CS payments out late or the recipients have problems collecting correct amounts, etc. What she forgot to tell him is that he wouldn't have a resource to help him resolve issues later on).

I'd posted before asking whether he should file a motion to modify or a motion to clarify, but it isnt totally clear because you can't technically clarify something that isn't written into the CO. So confusing...time to save up for an attorney-he's just scared to trust one after the quality of the last one he got was so lousy.

And, I'm sorry anybody has to live with crappy orders...I understand that not everything can be covered in a CO or parenting order, and that some things will go under the radar, but some of the stuff I've read on here is really bad! Makes me realize it could always be worse...

 

[majomom1]

I meant her giving him issues about every little thing...it's not just CO issues. But yes, I agree that he would have a much more enjoyable experience with the kiddos if the weird stuff in the CO got clarified once and for all. It's too bad there isn't a one size fits all parenting plan...

That would be called "stay married, don't get divorced".

With a clearly worded order... all the little things go away and don't matter.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

It's really a motion to clarify that portion of the court order.

In which county are you in?

 

[majomom1]

His attorney recommended that he waive the FOC to make things easier, and he agreed to (he trusted her reasoning-she told him FOC often gets CS payments out late or the recipients have problems collecting correct amounts, etc. What she forgot to tell him is that he wouldn't have a resource to help him resolve issues later on).

I'd posted before asking whether he should file a motion to modify or a motion to clarify, but it isnt totally clear because you can't technically clarify something that isn't written into the CO. So confusing...time to save up for an attorney-he's just scared to trust one after the quality of the last one he got was so lousy.

And, I'm sorry anybody has to live with crappy orders...I understand that not everything can be covered in a CO or parenting order, and that some things will go under the radar, but some of the stuff I've read on here is really bad! Makes me realize it could always be worse...

I wish I had found this site during my divorce. I can tell you I would have done a lot of things differently. I won't fault all the attorneys --- but some of them really don't understand all of the "little things" that can go wrong.

All of them have no way to predict what one parent will do, so it is impossible for them to get an iron clad CO.

I personally wish the court would ORDER eveyone to this site... just to get ALL the many different obstacles that can come up.

 

[doc2b]

That would be called "stay married, don't get divorced".

Ha! He had more problems married to her than he does now, so I guess it all worked out for the better!

It's really a motion to clarify that portion of the court order.

In which county are you in?

Oh, good to know. I misunderstood some of the answers I had gotten, I think. It's been a while since I posted the question. We're in Wayne County.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I know folks on the western side of the state.

I have gotten my money's worth by being IN the FOC system. When my X was in arrears at 12 weeks, I could just send a letter to enforcement to have them do a "show cause" at NO cost.

The same goes with clarifying parts of my court order. I can fax my problem over to FOC, she'll call me, and then sent the appropriate letter out to my X.

As for the money, the money gets to the state on Monday, and it is in my checking account directly deposited on Wednesday. When support is sent, it arrives promptly.

Granted we still had problem even after they told him he was completely wet, but after the judge slap last summer, it's been quieter.