Custody questions?

[MARL745]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA

My son is 6 months old. Right now Im not able to afford a lawyer and want to file custody for my son. I dont want sole physical custody. I am fine with working out a solid visitation schedule and sole legal custody because my son is in good hands and being taken care of at the moment. However, in a few years when hes a bit older I would like custody of him. Is it a mistake to agree to sole legal/visitation now on my part now and go back and try to change it later? Would that be hurting my changes in the future with custody assuming there is no material change in circumstances?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? GA

My son is 6 months old. Right now Im not able to afford a lawyer and want to file custody for my son. I dont want sole physical custody. I am fine with working out a solid visitation schedule and sole legal custody because my son is in good hands and being taken care of at the moment. However, in a few years when hes a bit older I would like custody of him. Is it a mistake to agree to sole legal/visitation now on my part now and go back and try to change it later? Would that be hurting my changes in the future with custody assuming there is no material change in circumstances?

Yes it is a mistake to agree to sole legal/visitation if you want to try to change it later. You need a substantial change in circumstances in order to change custody later. And what do you mean you want custody later? Why later? is he suddenly not going to be taken care of then and you know it?

 

[MARL745]

And what do you mean you want custody later? Why later? is he suddenly not going to be taken care of then and you know it?

No, not that. But, I have been told by a lawyer that I wouldnt likely be awarded sole or joint legal custody with him being so young, his environment is good and routine normal for a 6 month old, its rare to change custody at this point. The lawyer I spoke with advised he knows certain judges in my county that will not agree to joint physical custody, and have not in many many years citing cases that he has witnessed and been a part of. And I do feel its in the best interest of my son to maintain his current routine, my visitation with him is pretty steady though it hasnt been filed with the courts, so a normal routine is now being established with him.

Its not that I think he wouldnt be taken care of at some point, but I dont think my chances are good at this point of getting sole physical custody of him due to nothing really being wrong with his well being and care right now. I dont want to go in making a bunch of stuff up but at some point I would like custody of my son, I just dont want to make mistakes now in doing that.

 

[Ohiogal]

Why would you want sole physical custody of him if his routine is going well and he is being taken care of?

but I dont think my chances are good at this point of getting sole physical custody of him due to nothing really being wrong with his well being and care right now. I dont want to go in making a bunch of stuff up but at some point I would like custody of my son, I just dont want to make mistakes now in doing that.

Chances are never good at getting sole physical custody unless you are the mother of a child born out of wedlock and then you START out with sole physical custody. If your child is thriving that is what should matter.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

It does NOT work that way.

You might want to consider a change in PARENTING TIME as the child gets older. But, unless this child is abused or mom is proven unfit, they don't change custody cuz the other parent now says, I want custody.

Change in custody requires change in circumstances. YOU wanting to change something is NOT a change in circumstance.

 

[TheGeekess]

Just to remind everyone who you are....
https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/questions-my-state-382619.html

11-02-2007, 07:30 PM
MARL745 MARL745 is offline
Member

Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 78
Questions for my state?
What is the name of your state? GA

I've already posted a few weeks back and have some additional questions.
Quick background...Child due in March. Not married and no longer together. Found out I am having a boy!!!!(YIPPIE, DO THE HAPPY DANCE). I would like custody of my son.

For personal reasons(I know personal reasons have nothing to do with legal) I just think men should raise men. I dont think his mother would be a bad mother per se. As far as financially,mentally, and morally I feel I would better provide for him. I bought a house, and have a new job which pays me well. She doesnt know where she is going to live once he is born due to financial reasons and her lease ending around that same time, possibly with her sister who already has her family(3 kids and husband plus their mother) living in the household. By morally I mean this...I mention to her I will not tolerate C's, and possibly B's depending on the course work, on his report cards, and she made a statement that C's are okay and D's arent that bad if its a hard class...your kidding right??? I definitely want to have my child in my care.

It seems as if men dont get physical custody granted unless the children are being abused, or harmed in some way. Are my chances any good if these things are not taking place?

Does anyone have a link to GA child custody laws. Also any additional link to GA laws on child support would be helpful. Ive done some reading on both topics and have obtained some knowledge on my own, but any additional information would be helpful.

Also, Ive been informed of the routine. So to save time, skip advice on what I've already been told.. 1)Establish paternity 2)Establish custody and visitation/child support...(a recurring theme amongst these posts I see) Gracias very much!
Last edited by MARL745 : 11-02-2007 at 07:37 PM.

Bolded added by me.

 

[Ohiogal]

Yeah dad doesn't have a chance.


OP: What if the child is in a special education program that doesn't give grades? Will you tolerate that?

 

[wnbama]

Just to remind everyone who you are....
https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/questions-my-state-382619.html

Bolded added by me.

Yeah dad doesn't have a chance.


OP: What if the child is in a special education program that doesn't give grades? Will you tolerate that?

OP: Why is are you even worried about something that will not take place for atleast 6yrs or more? The child is 6 mo it can't even speak and there is no way on earth to KNOKW for sure that the child will do great in school.

 

[MARL745]

Just to remind everyone who you are....
https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/questions-my-state-382619.html

Bolded added by me.

Why post something I posted 8 months ago???

I am a totally different person doing the best I can to raise my son(and a damn good job at that I may add). Im not attacking you back, however, your analysis is completey way off on how much I have matured as a man and father. I will be the first to admit I made mistakes, but you have absolutely no idea who I am now and no idea what I do on a daily basis making this a very positive and healthy environment for my son...But really Im not surprised, I've had to deal with people who would like to hold me to be someone I was a year ago, and I have proven to those people, who actually matter, who I am and what I am about today...and thats being a great father for my son.

 

[LdiJ]

No, not that. But, I have been told by a lawyer that I wouldnt likely be awarded sole or joint legal custody with him being so young, his environment is good and routine normal for a 6 month old, its rare to change custody at this point. The lawyer I spoke with advised he knows certain judges in my county that will not agree to joint physical custody, and have not in many many years citing cases that he has witnessed and been a part of. And I do feel its in the best interest of my son to maintain his current routine, my visitation with him is pretty steady though it hasnt been filed with the courts, so a normal routine is now being established with him.

Its not that I think he wouldnt be taken care of at some point, but I dont think my chances are good at this point of getting sole physical custody of him due to nothing really being wrong with his well being and care right now. I dont want to go in making a bunch of stuff up but at some point I would like custody of my son, I just dont want to make mistakes now in doing that.

If you are the father, and the person who is caring for him so well right now is the mother (in other words, this is a parent vs parent case) then its unlikely that you would ever be able to get sole custody.

Judges very rarely give sole custody these days to either parent, if the judge has to decide. Its almost always at least joint legal custody (joint decision making) and some kind of parenting schedule, with usually one of the parents as primary.

I agree with your attorney that in the case of a six month old who is bonded to mom as his/her primary caregiver, that its very unlikely that a judge would take the child out of mom's primary custody and put the child in your primary custody.

However, what you also need to understand, is that once custody is decided, then you cannot take it back to court to change it, unless there a material change in circumstances in the child's primary home, or with the child's primary parent, or with the child.

You can just say, well, I don't mind if his mom has custody for now, but when he is 3, or 5, or whatever age, that I will want custody then. It just doesn't work that way.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Marl,

If you want to have a child who is in your manly presence growing up, then you should:
1. Find a nice lady and MARRY her first.
2. Then, have a baby
3. Stay married to the nice lady so that the child grows up with both of you.

Since you decided to skip to 2, bypassing #1, #3 isn't possible, so this child will spend their life being shuttled between your houses.

Being a good parent is making the most of the time you have. It is quality, not quantity.

 

[MARL745]

If you are the father, and the person who is caring for him so well right now is the mother (in other words, this is a parent vs parent case) then its unlikely that you would ever be able to get sole custody.

Judges very rarely give sole custody these days to either parent, if the judge has to decide. Its almost always at least joint legal custody (joint decision making) and some kind of parenting schedule, with usually one of the parents as primary.

I agree with your attorney that in the case of a six month old who is bonded to mom as his/her primary caregiver, that its very unlikely that a judge would take the child out of mom's primary custody and put the child in your primary custody.

However, what you also need to understand, is that once custody is decided, then you cannot take it back to court to change it, unless there a material change in circumstances in the child's primary home, or with the child's primary parent, or with the child.

You can just say, well, I don't mind if his mom has custody for now, but when he is 3, or 5, or whatever age, that I will want custody then. It just doesn't work that way.

Exactly, thank you for the info. Im sort of stuck between fighting a losing battle of definitely not getting custody at this point(which since he is being taken good care of, his environment is good and the visitation is working for now[again, nothing legally binding, just whats agreed upon btw us], its a great situation for him and hes happy). However, if we decide to go to court to get something legally binding, it would be decided as her having sole physical and us both joint legal custody, which I was thinking could damage me in the future if & when I decide to pursue sole physical custody. That was the premise of my question, and thank you for helping me convey that clearly. I just didnt want to do anything now to hurt me later, but I have some real thinking to do about it all...Again, thank you very much for your input.

 

[MARL745]

Marl,

If you want to have a child who is in your manly presence growing up, then you should:
1. Find a nice lady and MARRY her first.
2. Then, have a baby
3. Stay married to the nice lady so that the child grows up with both of you.

Since you decided to skip to 2, bypassing #1, #3 isn't possible, so this child will spend their life being shuttled between your houses.

Being a good parent is making the most of the time you have. It is quality, not quantity.

Point taken!

 

[LdiJ]

Exactly, thank you for the info. Im sort of stuck between fighting a losing battle of definitely not getting custody at this point(which since he is being taken good care of, his environment is good and the visitation is working for now[again, nothing legally binding, just whats agreed upon btw us], its a great situation for him and hes happy). However, if we decide to go to court to get something legally binding, it would be decided as her having sole physical and us both joint legal custody, which I was thinking could damage me in the future if & when I decide to pursue sole physical custody. That was the premise of my question, and thank you for helping me convey that clearly. I just didnt want to do anything now to hurt me later, but I have some real thinking to do about it all...Again, thank you very much for your input.

What you don't understand is that there is very little chance that you will ever get sole physical custody, unless the mother goes crazy or something equally radical happens.

That is the problem of unwed fatherhood. The child starts out in the primary physical custody of the mother, and unless there is something seriously wrong with the mother, that is how it stays...because in order for it to change, you need a change in circumstance.

You may however, in the future, be able to get joint physical custody and maybe even a 50/50 timeshare or something close to that. However, as long as she is a good mom, and a safe mom, you are not going to get primary or sole physical custody. The judge won't give it to you now, and the judge won't give it to you later either.

If you want to spend the money to fight the case, you might get joint physical custody now, but not necessarily a 50/50 or approaching 50/50 timeshare now.

 

[MARL745]

What you don't understand is that there is very little chance that you will ever get sole physical custody, unless the mother goes crazy or something equally radical happens.

That is the problem of unwed fatherhood. The child starts out in the primary physical custody of the mother, and unless there is something seriously wrong with the mother, that is how it stays...because in order for it to change, you need a change in circumstance.

You may however, in the future, be able to get joint physical custody and maybe even a 50/50 timeshare or something close to that. However, as long as she is a good mom, and a safe mom, you are not going to get primary or sole physical custody. The judge won't give it to you now, and the judge won't give it to you later either.

If you want to spend the money to fight the case, you might get joint physical custody now, but not necessarily a 50/50 or approaching 50/50 timeshare now.

This is what I was told by a lawyer but it was more in reference to now. I guess thats why I was in the mind state of maybe trying to pursue custody down the road. But again, excellent information, thank you very much.