What should I do?

[diamond123]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MO

I have been a an animal forum for almost ten years. I did leave for two years because of some medical conditions. I returned to this same forum this year, the owner of the forum and most of the people were still there. They were of course new people that had registered at this forum over the last two years.

There was a new member that her and I did not get along. She is very close to the forum owner. We had a few words, but nothing serious.

Well, this forum has a group ( I won't put there name here because I don't even know if they could be on her) this is an extremely large forum.

This group is very secretive of the things they do. They are also very close to the forum owner. In fact, three of the four in this group are moderates on the forum.

I told this group I did not like their secrecy. One of the people in this group and I use to be good friends. Not, in person but over the INTERNET.

This forum has different sections - one section is to talk about the animals.

The other section is to talk about anything from kids to political debates.

Well, one of the forum members posted a link to a man talking about Canada and the United States and it involved religion. I posted that was extremely insulting to my religion and to my Country.

The forum owner lives in Canada, but has some family in the United States. We have always been good friends also as far as you can be over the INTERNET. We did not e-mail and talk about family, etc. but have e-mailed a few times and even have talked on the phone a few times.

So, in the 7 to 8 years on this forum I always got along with almost everyone.

This forum also has Private Messages. I have a sick family member and sometimes forum members would send me a Private Message with prayers included.

Also, an anonymous website was formed on the INTERNET that could hurt our organization of animals. - You will understand about this in the next part.

Ok - so in the last three months the above things have happened.

1) I do not get along with the forum owners friend

2) I made a comment to this group I did not like there secrecy

3) A video was posted that offended my religion and my Country ( USA)
So, I posted a comment it was insulting

4) The anonymous website above - I was accused from the (group that is so secretive) of
being behind this website - they finally said they realized I was not.

Now, this is where the big problem starts and I don't know if I can do anything about it or not. I don't know what type of attorney to contact. If anyone thinks I have a case please tell me what kind of case and what type of an attorney. I realize this forum owner is in Canada so that I would think makes things a lot more complicated.

A few days ago after my last post about the video insulting my religion and my Country

I tried to log into my private messages and could not get in ( this was the next day after my last post)

So, I e-mailed the owner and also the moderators. I thought I had hit a wrong button and I could not figure out how to get my Private Message box back. This private message box is EXTREMELY important to me because it has some prayers sent to me from other forum members.

I finally heard back in the late afternoon from the owner. She said I lost my Private Message box because I had abused it.

1) The only way I could think of is when me and one of her close friend had some words.

2) She also told me that my box and messages were gone.

I e-mailed her back and I told her that if she could have her computer tech just get back the prayer messages back that I would pay for it.

The forum owner knows with permission these prayers are printed off and gave to the sick family member. I had just not had time to print those off yet.

3) About one hour later she e-mailed me back and told me in 7 days I could have my private message box back and my messages would be in them. She added she sadly decided to suspend me from this forum for seven days. I could read, but I could not post anything.

So, I e-mailed her back and told her I did not understand could she please explain to me why I had my Private Messages taken away for seven days and why was I suspended from this forum for seven days?

She e-mailed me back and said that I had caused too much trouble and she would not answer any more of my questions.

I have to be honest - I AM SHOCKED!

This forum owner runs Banner Ads on her forum. Over the years I have spent hundreds of dollars paying her for banner ads for my website, including this year.

So, I have two questions and please feel free to ask any questions. I can also post the video link if that would help to show what was so insulting to religion and to the United States.

1) Doesn't this mean she took away my FREEDOM OF SPEECH?

What can I do about that? If I have a case - what type of attorney should I contact? I live in the United States. She lives just over the border in Canada, but does have a mother that lives in the United States.

2) These members of the secretive group that accused me of setting up a website - which I did not - One lives in Canada the others live in the USA

What can I do about this? What type of attorney would I need?

This all could very well hurt my business with the rumors going around.

Now, you are probably reading this and thinking there has to be more. I must be a huge trouble maker in order to get suspended, etc.

That is not the case - I am completely hurt and confused on why this did happen.

I do know the member I had words with - is a very good friend of the owner of the forum and that person works in the USA for 9 years on a temporary word visa.

Does she think I will do something to hurt her friend? I don't know.

Anyway, Please help me understand what I can do. I am really hurt and confused to why this happened. They are over one thousand members on this forum, I am humiliated. This is going to hurt my business with rumors going around.

I still have the e-mail that shows this group of accusing me of being behind a website that I have no part in.

Oh, and out of the 7 to 8 years on this forum - Nothing like this has ever happened. I have never had a warning, suspended, etc. I am totally lost on what is going on.

I would appreciate any help.

 

[quincy]

There is nothing legally you can do, based on what you have described here.

Almost all forums have rules and almost all forums have the right to bar certain members for certain infractions of these rules. They also have the right to bar certain members for no reason at all. The decisions that are made are entirely up to the administrators of the sites.

A seven day ban is not horrible, by the way. You can return to the website then, if you want to continue to communicate with those you've met on the site who you are friendly with. And I would definitely ignore those you are not friendly with. If you feel the site has changed too much since you first were on it, then find a site that is more to your liking.

By the way, read through some of the posts on this forum. We can be an awfully cantankerous group. Those who are insulted easily have the choice not to return.

 

[Hot Topic]

You believe that not allowing you to use the forum temporarily deprives you of your right to free speech, yet you seem to want to deprive the person who posted a link to a man talking about Canada, the U.S. and religion in a way that distressed you of the same.

I doubt you can sue on the basis of what might happen or you think has happened regarding your business and win.

You need to be less sensitive and self directed.

 

[diamond123]

OK Here is more......

First, I want to say thanks for the help so far. I am sure it is a little confusing to read. I am trying to put three months into one post.

Ok, I am really talking about several different things here. Maybe I should have made two different post I am not sure.

I am sorry this is so long - If I need to Divide it into two different threads please let me know.

First I will talk about the forum problems.

1) There is a member that harasses people - she lets this member stay anonymous - but, that is against the rules. So, maybe it is a family member..or friend...I really don't know.

So, this anonymous member I would stand up to her/him ( I am 99% sure it is a she by the way this person talks)

That is the real reason I got suspended. The forum owner said I was making to much trouble. I am not the type of person that if someone personally attacks me first I will sit back and take it. So, I would speak back to this anonymous forum member.

Example - I had a forum member e-mail me one day that I really didn't know that well. ( Our e-mails are in our signature line if we want them - I did have mine there) She said you are really brave she ( most people thinks it is a she) is scary. I am afraid to say anything back to her.

The reason I said this - the anonymous person just loves to harass others on the forum. A lot of members have complained - but, when they do - they get in trouble like I did. So, people either takes the harassment or they leave.

I personally don't feel it is right to have to take harassment.

The Flag was an example of something I was upset about it.

The real reason I got suspended was because I would speak back to this anonymous forum member. I even blocked my Private Message box so she could not harass me through private message. This is when the forum owner really started getting mad at me.

I have been on this forum for 6 years ( not counting the two years I left before). I have never had any problems until now.

The forum owner and I had always got along fine. Until this anonymous person started harassing me and others.

Ok, I choose to leave the forum #1 I was being accused of things I had not done from this group that are mostly moderators of this forum # 2 The harassment from this anonymous member. #3 I told her I did not like the Flag and I was disappointed she let something like that on her forum.

Now, of course this letter was more from my heart that I wrote to the the forum owner. I had always consider the forum owner a friend. As much as you can be friends over the internet.

I told her I was hurt, I told her the rumors was hurting my business, etc. So, I told her I thought if she would just delete my name and all my post I think the rumors would die down. I also told her if it cost her money to have her computer tech to do this - not to spend money doing it. That eventually my post would just keep sliding back, even though I was upset, hurt, etc. I still cared about her. I did not want her to spend money to have me deleted from her forum. I really put my heart into this letter.

So, this morning she asked if she could call me. She said she had lost my phone number.

I told her I was not trying to be rude, but I had thought this decision through and I just wanted to walk away from her forum. I felt it was best for me and my business. That I did not want to talk about it. Remember, I have spent hundreds of dollars in advertising on her forum over the years.

I received an e-mail not long after that and I was so shocked I cried.

In a nice way - but, I know this woman - she is smart - she is not going to be rude about it or accusing. She already knows that I was accused before and it really upset me.

She told me she was trying to be a friend but she thinks I need professional help.


I don't think I have to say this for people to understand, but just in case she was not being a friend she was meaning to insult me.

********

Now what can I do about this? She is the forum owner, she will start telling other business owners this. If you feel I can do anything - What can I do? Would I need to hire an attorney? What type of an attorney?

The hardest part is she lives in Canada and I live in the USA.

******************************

Now the second part -

The group of members that accused me of setting up this anonymous website - this could also hurt my business. ( they are members and moderaters of the forum above)

Some live in Canada and some life in the USA - The one that actually sent the e-mail accusing me lives in the USA.

So, what type of attorney would I need? What can I do?

Would this not be considered Slander? or ??

I wrote this group and I was angry and I told them I did not like being accused of something I have not done.

I also wrote the forum owner, which at the time I thought was my friend.

She called me and told me she has told this group over and over that I was not that type of person and she told me she would put a stop to it.

***********************

A few weeks go by and I was hoping and thinking everything had settled down. I had blocked the anonymous member, etc.


In six years that I can remember I have complained about three things - the anonymous poster harassing people, being accused of something I did not do from some of her moderators, the Flag that is so disrespectful.

Of course, this has happened over the last three months

My business reputation is on the line - not counting the hurt and emotional feelings.

I am at a loss on what I can do, if anything.

Please, I would appreciate any help with the forum owner or the group of moderators on the forum.

Thank you for your time.

 

[AnotherMoron]

She told me she was trying to be a friend but she thinks I need professional help.

After reading the posts you made in this thread, I tend to agree with her. You need to get a thicker skin and realize people don't have to like you, be nice to you, allow you to use their forums or treat you with any respect at all. There are no laws demanding these things. You're not entitled to use any forum, you're not entitled to free speech on any forum, you're not entitled to being treated the way you think you should be treated, seniority or not, advertiser or not.

What are your monetary damages? Sue her for that, but you'll have to do it in Canada, I'm betting and it'll get really expensive, so I hope it's worth it.

 

[quincy]

Diamond123, I am afraid that there is nothing that you are saying here that would allow for a successful legal action to be taken against anyone. There is no attorney who can help you deal with an anonymous member of a forum who you simply don't like.

What you are objecting to on this animal forum is called free speech. People do not have to be nice or friendly. People are legally allowed to say mean things. They are legally allowed to say horrible things about the U.S. and the flag and the President and religion. And you are legally allowed to say mean things back.

It is only when words that are spoken or written meet certain conditions that a lawsuit can be pursued with any chance of success - and what you are describing here does not meet any of those specific conditions.

The animal forum is obviously making you miserable. Once again, I suggest you leave the animal forum behind if you don't like what is being said by its members. Do not spend any more advertising dollars on this site. Find a site that will appreciate you and your opinions and your money.

But suing any one of the members on this animal forum is NOT a viable option for you, based on what you have posted here.

 

[diamond123]

Thank you and more

I really do appreciate the help.

But, what about the group that sent me an e-mail of accusing me of being behind a website that I am not behind.

Can people just accuse you of things and get away with it?

All of this is hurting my business reputation.

 

[TheGeekess]

I really do appreciate the help.

But, what about the group that sent me an e-mail of accusing me of being behind a website that I am not behind.

Can people just accuse you of things and get away with it?

All of this is hurting my business reputation.

Who else received that email? Just you? Then ignore it and move on with your life.

 

[quincy]

If you are sincerely convinced that the comments made by these animal forum members, falsely accusing you of creating an alternate website, have been harmful to you and your business reputation, then you can certainly consult with a defamation attorney.

Defamation actions are expensive - extremely expensive when dealing with anonymous posters on a website and moreso when dealing with a website operating out of another country - but if you feel the need to pursue some sort of legal action, go over all of your facts with an attorney.

Be prepared to show whatever attorney you contact proof of severe reputational injury as a result of false facts published about you and/or your business. These "false facts" cannot be opinion or truth, fair comment or criticism. They cannot, in other words, be free speech.

You must be able to demonstrate that what was published about you (a personal email sent to you directly is NOT considered publication) was published with the belief that it was false when it was published. You must be able to demonstrate losses as a result of the comments made, reputational or monetary. Losses should be significant enough to warrant the thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars you will be spending to pursue an action. There is no guarantee ever of a lawsuit win, so also be prepared to LOSE thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars.

Because the website is located in Canada, you may have to sue in Canada under Canadian defamation laws. A U.S. lawyer can advise you on this.

Good luck.


I did want to add that, although Canadian defamation laws mirror U.S. defamation laws in most respects, there is one significant difference. In the U.S., the statute of limitations (the time in which you must bring an action) is generally between one year and two years, depending on the state. In Canada, however, some provinces have a VERY short SOL, as short as 6 weeks. So any defamation action brought must be filed within this period of time.

 

[diamond123]

Thank You...so much...

Quincy you have been great in explaining the type of attorney and what I need to do.

The animals I sell range from $2000.00 to 20,000.00 - $ 2,000.00 pet quality and on up to show quality is between $5,000.00 and $20,000.00

And believe me I am in the middle of these farms. Some of these animals run much higher.

I figure by, now I have gave enough information that these people would know who I am if they read these post.

So, the animals I raise are Miniature Horses. Not,the dwarfs you see on TV.

They are family pets and they are extremely smart.

Oh, and anothermoron - do some research and see how expensive these animals can be. You may realize why I do not want lies spread to hurt my business.

I am not basing my questions on who likes who - I would be suing half the forum and that same half would be suing me...LOL.

I am serious, they are a lot at stake here and I am very concerned.

Now, thanks to Quincy I know the TYPE of attorney I need to contact. Show him what I have and go from there.

Thanks again for all the help!

 

[quincy]

You're welcome, diamond.

Yours will not be an easy defamation action to win, by any means, but I wish you good luck.

 

[tiredofdrama]

Uh, Diamond? Aren't you the same person that a few months ago inquired about the legalities of starting your own forum so you could publicly rehash your unfortunate experience at the migraine clinic? Did you not say that you felt that this would fall under the realm of freedom of speech? Yet now, you want to try and sue some animal forum because they won't "play with you" anymore and they accused you of starting another website that you didn't create (and didn't you say they later admitted you didn't start it)?

I think you want attention. I think you are addicted to forums and need to go out and rejoin the non-cyber world for a while. I think, based on your other posts, that you are a hypocondriac and yes, in spite of your claims that you are not in another post, I think you are sue-happy.

Disclaimer: The above statement is the opinion of Tiredofdrama and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of this entire forum. Tiredofdrama's statements are personal opinions based on the evidence provided by the OP. These opinions are in no way meant to discredit the OP and should always be taken with a grain of salt as Tiredofdrama is not a professional and may be crazy too![/I]

Please don't sue me, I was just practicing freedom of speech.

 

[quincy]

I really need to start reading posting histories.


By the way, tiredofdrama, and as an aside: A disclaimer is not enough to prevent a defamation action should the words you write be libelous. Your second paragraph, however, very nicely avoids libeling diamond by showing how you arrived at your opinions.

 

[tiredofdrama]

I really need to start reading posting histories.


By the way, tiredofdrama, and as an aside: A disclaimer is not enough to prevent a defamation action should the words you write be libelous. Your second paragraph, however, very nicely avoids libeling diamond by showing how you arrived at your opinions.

Thank you very much, and I will take that under advisement in future postings! Hopefully I have successfully gotten my point across that it is merely my opinion that the OP has some issues, and that my opinion means nothing to anyone but me!

 

[quincy]

Ha. Yes you did make it rather clear they were your opinions only.