Trying to make agreements

[lovingdadto3]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I am a resident of Kansas (where the custody agreement is from) My ex is a resident of Missouri. I am going through some things with my ex. Right now I am wanting to revise our parenting plan for 2 reason, 1. It has never been changed and she has moved out of state 2. There are things that she doesn`t notify me on including school stuff and the upbringing of my daughter. I just found out last night when I talked to my daughter that she skipped school because she spent the weekend with her grandparents and her mom just came picked her up. All of my ex's family lives in the same area as I do. She never informed me if it was ok if she sjipped school, I would never agree to that anyway. I have sent numerous emails asking her if she agrees on the parenting plan I proposed to her and the only thing she said that she would semi agree to is the transortation part about meeting half way. Right now I provide all transportation. We live over 70 miles apart. I don't mind doing all the driving but that agreement was made when we lived in the same town. If I would have known that I didn't have to have a lawyer to stop her from moving to Missouri, I would have taken her to court. I don't feel that is right, that I should have to do all the driving since she is the one who moved that far. My ex sent me an email saying that she no longer has health insurance for my daughter because of her hours, she is now considered part time. I asked her to apply for a medical card and she said that she did, she tried to apply for it when she was full time not part time. How to I make a formal request? Any help would be great.

 

[CJane]

Roughly where are the two of you?

Do you have joint-legal custody?

Honestly? Mom doesn't have to inform you if the child is going to miss a day of school, nor does she have to inform you if the child is going to spend time w/grandparents.

It'd be NICE (and it's probably in your order) if she informed you of school functions, but in actuality, it's your responsibility to make sure you're informed. Call the school. Make sure they have your address/phone number. Make sure they send you copies of report cards, calendars, etc. Offer to supply them with stamped/addressed envelopes for communications w/you.

Beating yourself up NOW for not fighting mom's move THEN is senseless. A move of 70 miles (even though it crossed state lines) is not that big of a deal.

How old is the child?

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I am a resident of Kansas (where the custody agreement is from) My ex is a resident of Missouri. I am going through some things with my ex. Right now I am wanting to revise our parenting plan for 2 reason, 1. It has never been changed and she has moved out of state 2. There are things that she doesn`t notify me on including school stuff and the upbringing of my daughter. I just found out last night when I talked to my daughter that she skipped school because she spent the weekend with her grandparents and her mom just came picked her up. All of my ex's family lives in the same area as I do. She never informed me if it was ok if she sjipped school, I would never agree to that anyway. I have sent numerous emails asking her if she agrees on the parenting plan I proposed to her and the only thing she said that she would semi agree to is the transortation part about meeting half way. Right now I provide all transportation. We live over 70 miles apart. I don't mind doing all the driving but that agreement was made when we lived in the same town. If I would have known that I didn't have to have a lawyer to stop her from moving to Missouri, I would have taken her to court. I don't feel that is right, that I should have to do all the driving since she is the one who moved that far. My ex sent me an email saying that she no longer has health insurance for my daughter because of her hours, she is now considered part time. I asked her to apply for a medical card and she said that she did, she tried to apply for it when she was full time not part time. How to I make a formal request? Any help would be great.

are you aware that when mom re-applies for a medical card, child support services will move forward for an order for YOU to provide health insurance? you are only delaying the inevitable.

when you say skipped school. do you mean one day or a week? several days? when you say school stuff, do you mean weekly announcements from the school? or do you want mom to submit a daily report to you about the bump on her knee from falling on the playground? what's stopping you from calling the school and requesting copies of school report cards? do they have a website you can register on? does the teacher have an e-mail where you can keep contact with them?

 

[lovingdadto3]

Im not sure why my quote doesn't look liek everyone else's but this was to quote CJane. Sorry

Do you have joint-legal custody?
---Yes
Honestly? Mom doesn`t have to inform you if the child is going to miss a day of school, nor does she have to inform you if the child is going to spend time w/grandparents.
---Her spending time with her grandparents doesn`t matter to me, it her missing school for unneccessary reasons.
It`d be NICE (and it`s probably in your order) if she informed you of school functions, but in actuality, it`s your responsibility to make sure you`re informed. Call the school. Make sure they have your address/phone number. Make sure they send you copies of report cards, calendars, etc. Offer to supply them with stamped/addressed envelopes for communications w/you.
---I have done that earlier this year and her teacher said that was a good idea since they only provide one copy to the custodial parent unless we provided SASE. My ex never sent me the order form so I could order pictures and now it`s to late. I have looked online at the North KC school website to get as much information about different things that are going on but some things are not posted so how did I know. I have fixed those issues and hoping it will go better.
Beating yourself up NOW for not fighting mom`s move THEN is senseless. A move of 70 miles (even though it crossed state lines) is not that big of a deal.
-----I would have taken her to court but I thought I needed a lawyer and there was no way I could afford one at that time. In the new parenting plan I proposed to her it stated that both parents shall meet half way. It is a big deal because she moved that far away.How old is the child?[/QUOTE] 8

 

[LdiJ]

---Her spending time with her grandparents doesn`t matter to me, it her missing school for unneccessary reasons.

Mom still doesn't need to get your permission for that. Particularly if its not a frequent thing and its only for a day.

 

[lovingdadto3]

are you aware that when mom re-applies for a medical card, child support services will move forward for an order for YOU to provide health insurance? you are only delaying the inevitable.
---I did not know that but come to think of it, that makes sense. So I guess I will start to look into a policy for her. Thank you for pointing that out.

when you say skipped school. do you mean one day or a week?One day several days? when you say school stuff, do you mean weekly announcements from the school? or do you want mom to submit a daily report to you about the bump on her knee from falling on the playground? what's stopping you from calling the school and requesting copies of school report cards?I have done that already but I would just like to know updates not just report cards, and I do believe that is the Custodial Parents job also to provide Non-Custodial Parent with such info. do they have a website you can register on? I do get online and look at whats going on but not everything gets posted on there, such as dates for fundraisors and such. does the teacher have an e-mail where you can keep contact with them?I do keep in contact with the teacher but only when I email her to ask her a question. She will now start to send me everything that my ex gets. I gave her SASE and said whatever my ex gets I would like also. She's very nice.

I am not trying to be a dad that likes to cause drama but I feel like I am not important for my ex to share information with. Another thing is that I want to communicate with my ex through email because she always hangs up on me and then nothing gets solved. She doesn't like emailing because she thinks its my fiance which its not its me who is typing it and sending it. I don't know how else to prove to her that its me typing it and not my fiance.

 

[lovingdadto3]

Mom still doesn't need to get your permission for that. Particularly if its not a frequent thing and its only for a day.

So do I not have a say in what my child misses school for besides Dr visits and important stuff. Im sorry but I think the weekend it self is good amount of time for visits and not taking away from school time. Is there anything I can put in the revised parenting plan that we are working with to stop things like that from happening?

 

[LdiJ]

So do I not have a say in what my child misses school for besides Dr visits and important stuff. Im sorry but I think the weekend it self is good amount of time for visits and not taking away from school time. Is there anything I can put in the revised parenting plan that we are working with to stop things like that from happening?

If mom agrees to put something like that in the parenting plan, then something like that can be put into the parenting plan. If mom doesn't agree, then it cannot.

Honestly, on that one issue I think that you are trying to micromanage mom. If she was allowing your child to miss an excessive amount of school, then you would have an issue. However, one day, once in a while, is simply not a major issue.

 

[lovingdadto3]

If mom agrees to put something like that in the parenting plan, then something like that can be put into the parenting plan. If mom doesn't agree, then it cannot.

Honestly, on that one issue I think that you are trying to micromanage mom. If she was allowing your child to miss an excessive amount of school, then you would have an issue. However, one day, once in a while, is simply not a major issue.

I know it may seem like that but I just don't want my daughter to miss school unless she absolutly needs to. I hope you do understand my point. So the only way to add something into the parenting plan is when she agrees to it. I don't think it should be entirely up to her, and if it is a good stipulation than I don't see a problem with it. Just like I have in the revised parenting plan that only natural parents shall do corporal punishment. My ex lets her boyfriend spank my daughter and if I hear of that again will I have a good chance of abuse? He spanks her with a paddle not just his hand. It just makes me so mad even thinking about that.

 

[Zigner]

I know it may seem like that but I just don't want my daughter to miss school unless she absolutly needs to. I hope you do understand my point. So the only way to add something into the parenting plan is when she agrees to it. I don't think it should be entirely up to her, and if it is a good stipulation than I don't see a problem with it. Just like I have in the revised parenting plan that only natural parents shall do corporal punishment. My ex lets her boyfriend spank my daughter and if I hear of that again will I have a good chance of abuse? He spanks her with a paddle not just his hand. It just makes me so mad even thinking about that.

And you haven't called the police yet...why?

 

[Silverplum]

My ex lets her boyfriend spank my daughter and if I hear of that again will I have a good chance of abuse? He spanks her with a paddle not just his hand. It just makes me so mad even thinking about that.

Turn him in to the Child Protective Services in your area. He has no right to whack your child.

 

[lovingdadto3]

Turn him in to the Child Protective Services in your area. He has no right to whack your child.

My ex and her boyfriend live in Missouri. When I do it I want to make a good plan because I don't want me daughter to get all upset, she is only 8. What would be the best way to do this.

 

[Isis1]

My ex and her boyfriend live in Missouri. When I do it I want to make a good plan because I don't want me daughter to get all upset, she is only 8. What would be the best way to do this.

call child protective services in Missouri. i really don't take into consideration if it upsets the child, i want the child safe from harm. NO ONE should be abusing the child AT ALL. YOU, MOM, or b/f. it upsets my child when i don't allow them near the stove when i am cooking. for a damn good reason. i don't want them to get hurt. they can cry, whine, get upset all they want. it's for their protection. plain and simple.

a "no corporal punishment by the parent or any party should be allowed" type of clause.

 

[TheGeekess]

call child protective services in MS. i really don't take into consideration if it upsets the child, i want the child safe from harm. NO ONE should be abusing the child AT ALL. YOU, MOM, or b/f. it upsets my child when i don't allow them near the stove when i am cooking. for a damn good reason. i don't want them to get hurt. they can cry, whine, get upset all they want. it's for their protection. plain and simple.

a "no corporal punishment by the parent or any party should be allowed" type of clause.

Psssttt, Isabella, OP's ex is not in Mississippi (MS), but in Missouri (MO).

 

[Isis1]

Psssttt, Isabella, OP's ex is not in Mississippi (MS), but in Missouri (MO).

wrong abbreviation i was just going over this with the 10 year old for his homework.