fighting_dad_PA
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California
I used to live in CA, where my 10 year old son and his mom live. My job relocated me to PA almost 2 years ago. I don't know what info you need, so please excuse my noob-iness.
My ex-gf has always tried to limit the time with my son. In CA, I had him 3 days during the week, and he would alternate spending the night on Friday or Saturday nights, and I would have him half the day on Sunday. The mom works as a waitress, so she works 5-10pm. So I would pick my son up from school, help him with his homework, feed him dinner, and take him to his grandparents' house right before bed. She currently works 3 nights per week from 5-10pm, and a double shift on Sunday so my son is at his grandparents' house most of the week anyway. He spends the night at his grandparents' house more often than his own house most of the time.
Once I moved to PA, according to my phone records, I can only get a hold of my son 11% of the time. She said she "gives him the messages" but every time I talk to my son he says he never gets messages that I called. Last Christmas, my ex refused to talk to me or email me, which resulted in the first Xmas my son had without me around. Then she got a lawyer, who sends me letters that says the holidays are more important to her because she also has a new baby with her new husband (we were never married). So since she has two kids and I only have one, the holidays are more important to her. After the missed Xmas visit, she used the excuse that she wanted a custody order in writing before my son could visit, to "ensure his safety." Although she has no reason to think I wouldn't return him. She did let him visit for the summer of '07 and the visit went very smoothly. However, I flew out to CA to pick him up, and his maternal grandmother flew out here to PA to fly him back home. That is the only visit she has allowed me since I moved.
This summer, my ex used the excuse that due to 9/11 and how unsafe flying is, she would never let our son fly as an unaccompanied minor, so if I can't fly out to pick him up and fly back with him to drop him off, that he cannot visit. Our order only calls for "reasonable visitation" and "reasonable phone contact." And now she is refusing this Christmas' visit as well. The court Mediator told her that she was being unreasonable, due to the high cost of plane tickets for me to escort him. She still refuses to be flexible.
My lawyer is filing papers next week for custody, based on the fact that I can only get a hold of him 11% of the time, and she keeps refusing visitation since she won't let him fly alone. I have also been keeping a journal of the conversations I have with my son, but I'm afraid it won't be believable, due to the fact that recently, my son has been making remarks such as, "Mom and Tony have been drinking much more than usual" and, "I want to come live with you, dad, but I don't want to hurt mom's feelings." I think that might look like I made those statements up, since it's just my word against hers. I have read MANY sites that have said refusing visitation is enough to change custody, and visitation interference is enough to change custody.
On a final note, she has not taken our son to the dentist for almost two years. The last time she did, he had 9 cavities. I have old emails where she threatened me that I better not take him to the dentist, because she "wanted to be the one in control of his decisions." Is not taking him to the dentist in 2 years a big deal? Is that considered medical neglect?
Any thoughts of my chances for winning custody would be much appreciated. Please be nice to this noob. If you need any other info, please let me know.
I used to live in CA, where my 10 year old son and his mom live. My job relocated me to PA almost 2 years ago. I don't know what info you need, so please excuse my noob-iness.
My ex-gf has always tried to limit the time with my son. In CA, I had him 3 days during the week, and he would alternate spending the night on Friday or Saturday nights, and I would have him half the day on Sunday. The mom works as a waitress, so she works 5-10pm. So I would pick my son up from school, help him with his homework, feed him dinner, and take him to his grandparents' house right before bed. She currently works 3 nights per week from 5-10pm, and a double shift on Sunday so my son is at his grandparents' house most of the week anyway. He spends the night at his grandparents' house more often than his own house most of the time.
Once I moved to PA, according to my phone records, I can only get a hold of my son 11% of the time. She said she "gives him the messages" but every time I talk to my son he says he never gets messages that I called. Last Christmas, my ex refused to talk to me or email me, which resulted in the first Xmas my son had without me around. Then she got a lawyer, who sends me letters that says the holidays are more important to her because she also has a new baby with her new husband (we were never married). So since she has two kids and I only have one, the holidays are more important to her. After the missed Xmas visit, she used the excuse that she wanted a custody order in writing before my son could visit, to "ensure his safety." Although she has no reason to think I wouldn't return him. She did let him visit for the summer of '07 and the visit went very smoothly. However, I flew out to CA to pick him up, and his maternal grandmother flew out here to PA to fly him back home. That is the only visit she has allowed me since I moved.
This summer, my ex used the excuse that due to 9/11 and how unsafe flying is, she would never let our son fly as an unaccompanied minor, so if I can't fly out to pick him up and fly back with him to drop him off, that he cannot visit. Our order only calls for "reasonable visitation" and "reasonable phone contact." And now she is refusing this Christmas' visit as well. The court Mediator told her that she was being unreasonable, due to the high cost of plane tickets for me to escort him. She still refuses to be flexible.
My lawyer is filing papers next week for custody, based on the fact that I can only get a hold of him 11% of the time, and she keeps refusing visitation since she won't let him fly alone. I have also been keeping a journal of the conversations I have with my son, but I'm afraid it won't be believable, due to the fact that recently, my son has been making remarks such as, "Mom and Tony have been drinking much more than usual" and, "I want to come live with you, dad, but I don't want to hurt mom's feelings." I think that might look like I made those statements up, since it's just my word against hers. I have read MANY sites that have said refusing visitation is enough to change custody, and visitation interference is enough to change custody.
On a final note, she has not taken our son to the dentist for almost two years. The last time she did, he had 9 cavities. I have old emails where she threatened me that I better not take him to the dentist, because she "wanted to be the one in control of his decisions." Is not taking him to the dentist in 2 years a big deal? Is that considered medical neglect?
Any thoughts of my chances for winning custody would be much appreciated. Please be nice to this noob. If you need any other info, please let me know.
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