Abusing the system!

[spanwa]

From post #3:

Why are we hearing from you instead of your suffering brother?

I love the way you start your post by claiming that society needs to be protected against women who abuse the court system. Maybe the system needs to be protected against men like your brother who resumed his relationship with a woman who had filed a, you say, phony restraining order against him, then did it again. That says a lot more about your brother than it does the girlfriend.

If thats not sarcastic, I dont know what is.

 

[spanwa]

Sorry. I just feel like I need to put my two cents in. As I am another third party to this issue that inwa speaks of, I just want to say that we are all involved. For instance, we helped him move his furniture out of the house. While we were doing this, she was taking down all of our license plate numbers and accusing us of stealing while she was talking to the 911 operator. Also, (this all being video taped), she accused me of shoving her and telling to get the **** out of my way. I'm truly not concerned about these accusations, as I said, it was all recorded. However, I'm a little flustered by the fact that we come here for a little advice and we get sarcasm instead. If you cannot give advice on the subject, say so. Don't try to make us look like morons because you already have your mind made up that the man is guilty. You don't even know the whole story. Get off your high horse and do what you came here to do. State facts, not opinions. If your own opinions get in the way of your giving advice, then don't say anything. If the fact is that you can't give advice to third partys, thats all that is needed to be said.

 

[CourtClerk]

Sorry. I just feel like I need to put my two cents in. As I am another third party to this issue that inwa speaks of, I just want to say that we are all involved.

Not legally, you're not. This is a LEGAL forum, not an emotional one.

For instance, we helped him move his furniture out of the house.

Your choice.

While we were doing this, she was taking down all of our license plate numbers and accusing us of stealing while she was talking to the 911 operator.

Easily explained when the police arrived. Again, you're still not LEGALLY involved and this isn't an emotional support group.

Also, (this all being video taped), she accused me of shoving her and telling to get the **** out of my way.

If you were never pursued criminally or civilly, then you're still not involved.

I'm truly not concerned about these accusations,

If you're concerned about accusations against HIM, that's your choice. You CHOOSE to be. Doesn't make you LEGALLY involved. There's a distinct difference.

as I said, it was all recorded. However, I'm a little flustered by the fact that we come here for a little advice and we get sarcasm instead.

We???? You haven't asked a single question yet.

If you cannot give advice on the subject, say so.

The advice is to have the affected party post his own questions, or seek other legal help. The advice to you is to get involved legally when you have to. At this point, you don't have to.

Don't try to make us look like morons because you already have your mind made up that the man is guilty.

No one is making you out to look like anything. However, if you feel you look like a moron, you may want to work on that. It's probably more telling than you think.

You don't even know the whole story.

That's right, we don't. And until the person directly involved in the situation TELLS the story, we never will.

Get off your high horse and do what you came here to do.

We do, many times a day. However, if you think you're going to come on here and demand and command us to do something, then you're going to have to send a check for a retainer. Other than that, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

State facts, not opinions.

That's your job.

If your own opinions get in the way of your giving advice, then don't say anything.

If your emotions get in the way of posting a coherent question or understanding that we aren't going to help anyone not directly involved, don't post.

If the fact is that you can't give advice to third partys, thats all that is needed to be said.

We said that... on page 1. So you and your friend can move along now that you get it... finally.

 

[spanwa]

Okay. Now that you've set me straight.....
Here's my question;
Should I get a restraining order against her before she falsly gets one for me. Regardless of the video, as she has done this to the respondant, I am out in the open and vulnerable to the same injustice, simply because I helped a friend move out of his house. How can I protect myself? I have already noted with the respondants case, she will put herself in places that she knows he will go to try to get him arrested for violating the restraining order. How can I prevent this from happening to me?

 

[CourtClerk]

Okay. Now that you've set me straight.....
Here's my question;
Should I get a restraining order against her before she falsly gets one for me.

Before she gets one one me is not a legally justifiable reason to get a restraining order.

Regardless of the video, as she has done this to the respondant, I am out in the open and vulnerable to the same injustice, simply because I helped a friend move out of his house.

Simply by what I do for a living, I am vulnerable to a whole HOST of injustices. Perhaps I should just get a restraining order against anyone and everyone who comes into a courthouse and comes in contact with me...

How can I protect myself?

Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil. Do not engage the individual. Some of this will simply be keep your mouth shut and stop acting like you HAVE to be involved. Let the big boy deal with his own issues.

already noted with the respondants case, she will put herself in places that she knows he will go to try to get him arrested for violating the restraining order. How can I prevent this from happening to me?

There is no restraining order against you, so it can't happen to you as of yet. As to what happens between him and her, that's THEIR business.

 

[spanwa]

Oh, I see. I must read between the lines. That's how this works.
I have simply asked a question on how to protect myself and you have brought up inwa's brother again as if I am asking the question about him. The question was about "me" "in reference to" what I have seen done to him and what we have found out that she has done in the past.
Moving day was only 4 days ago. For myself, that is done and over with. I no longer have any association with the exgirlfriend nor do I plan to engage in any social activities with this person. But knowing that she knows where I live, work, shop, etc..., I would say that there is a 80% chance of her filing a restraining order on me, and that she is vindictive enough to show up at one of those places just to try to cause me legal problems. Can this be prevented? Or should I just wait and see if it happens? Keeping my mouth shut helps, but will not prevent it. If it will help solidify my concern, she has done exactly this to a friend of her ex husbands.

 

[CdwJava]

Oh, I see. I must read between the lines. That's how this works.
I have simply asked a question on how to protect myself and you have brought up inwa's brother again as if I am asking the question about him.

The point CC was trying to make was that you would seem to have no standing to obtain a restraining order against the woman. This is Inwa's issue, and HE has standing with regards to any issues over property and a restraining order. If you have something to add at court, then you can appear as a witness if he will be permitted to present witnesses.

But knowing that she knows where I live, work, shop, etc..., I would say that there is a 80% chance of her filing a restraining order on me, and that she is vindictive enough to show up at one of those places just to try to cause me legal problems.

Then, as CC advised, do not engage her. If she shows up at your work place, I assume there will be ample witnesses to testify that you simply ignored her and walked away as she acted like a raving lunatic. Plus, if she were to do that, then you just might get that restraining order.

Can this be prevented?

Not be a pre-emptive R/O.


- Carl

 

[spanwa]

Thanks CJ.
For the record, I have no intention of filing a restraining order under false pretences against anyone. My mention of it was merely hypothetical. Most of these people don't take kindly to hypothetical scenarios. I actually got an answer out of CJ without being chastized. The rest of you should take notes.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks CJ.
For the record, I have no intention of filing a restraining order under false pretences against anyone. My mention of it was merely hypothetical. Most of these people don't take kindly to hypothetical scenarios. I actually got an answer out of CJ without being chastized. The rest of you should take notes.

While I understand that you didn't really understand the points that were being made....possibly because of the delivery of said points, the bottom line is that no third party can really know the necessary nuances of a situation to give us the right information to give good advice.

This is why we really don't like to answer questions from third parties. People directly involved in cases often don't understand what is and isn't important, and third parties usually don't even have all of the necessary information to know what is or isn't important.

Also, third parties are often so emotionally involved in protecting/defending their friend/sibling/child/significant other, that they often actually do things that HARM their friend's/sibling's/child'/significant other's case, which is one of the reasons why we encourage them to back off.

Also...you stated that your brother is "passive" and I suspect that you are used to taking up the slack for him. This is one time when not only can you NOT do that, but any attempts you make to do that would likely backfire on him.

If you really want to help him, help him get an attorney and then back off until you are called to testify.

 

[spanwa]

I appreciate the positive responces. I'm glad that there are people out there who are willing to help, and not criticize.

 

[inwa]

Why are we hearing from you instead of your suffering brother?

I love the way you start your post by claiming that society needs to be protected against women who abuse the court system. Maybe the system needs to be protected against men like your brother who resumed his relationship with a woman who had filed a, you say, phony restraining order against him, then did it again. That says a lot more about your brother than it does the girlfriend.

Why again would the system need to be protected against men like my brother? Not sure I am understanding your point?

This is your brother's problem, not yours. If he was man enough to get involved with a woman with kids,What exactly does him being man enough to get involved with a woman with kids mean? He was doing just fine with the three he has being a single father and then to support her and her two kids was pretty man enough if you ask me. Providing and supporting her and her 2 kids was pretty manly of him seeing how she didn't get child support from her ex and didn't hold a job. he's man enough not to need his brother (why would you assume I am his brother) to hold his hand when the relationship soured. Keep in mind that your brother not only picked her, he moved in with her (actually they moved in with him in his house, house was not big enough with 5 kids so they sold his house got bigger house with both names on the house (big mistake right there!!).

Anyway just didn't quite understand this advice needed more clarification thanks. My brother will be on the computer tomorrow, hopefully to get some real advice not sure if it will be here though.

 

[Perky]

Anyway just didn't quite understand this advice needed more clarification thanks. My brother will be on the computer tomorrow, hopefully to get some real advice not sure if it will be here though.

Your brother will get good advice here if he chooses to post.

Be advised that you and he have the option to edit your Ignore List by using your User CP. You can check the posting history of any member to see if his/her advice is generally useful or just inflammatory, then edit your list accordingly.

 

[inwa]

Your brother will get good advice here if he chooses to post.

Be advised that you and he have the option to edit your Ignore List by using your User CP. You can check the posting history of any member to see if his/her advice is generally useful or just inflammatory, then edit your list accordingly.

That is valuable information probably the best so far thanks.

 

[stealth2]

This thread is exactly why I tend not to reply to third parties beyond asking them to have the involved party come here, with their own handle, and post their own question(s). It's really just a waste of time otherwise.

 

[inwa]

This thread is exactly why I tend not to reply to third parties beyond asking them to have the involved party come here, with their own handle, and post their own question(s). It's really just a waste of time otherwise.

It would have been so simple for someone to tell me exactly what you said instead of the ridiculing, sarcastic responses I got. I have always been a firm believer of say what you mean and mean what you say. Instead it just pissed me off the BS that I was getting here. I don't think that after my experience here that I would recommend this place to anyone.