son throwing fits about going to dads

[2Mistakes]

Was this posted somewhere else or am I blind because I didn't see this anywhere in her post?

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/witnesses-visitation-case-plz-help-316467.html

Posting histories can be very helpful.

 

[Just Blue]

Was this posted somewhere else or am I blind because I didn't see this anywhere in her post?

Look at OPs posting history.

 

[mdgtfrmhll]

Look at OPs posting history.

Thanks so much....

 

[Ohiogal]

They suggested I seek legal counsel about getting supervised visits, which I am doing. I'm just concerned about the time it takes to get a hearing. My attorney spoke to my son's counselor and thinks her testimony will be a tremendous help. In the meanwhile though, he has to go and be exposed to all this even more. Sometimes when they know we have a hearing coming up, they are especially nice to him though, so I'm hoping for the best. Also, about him not going there for 3 months. ONE night I didn't make him go because he was crying and hiding under the bed and had an accident because he was so scared. No one has come to get him or called since then. They are saying that I've been refusing him visitation, but if he doesn't come to get him then I can't very well send my son with him. Today my attorney spoke to his attorney who stated that my son's father wanted his visitation and that I was denying it, so, I set up vistits at the visitation center so there would be no dispute about weather I denied him visitation or not.

So you are wanting to stick it to dad more than wanting to get your son help. YOU do not have a right to UNILATERALLY set up visits at the visitation center. There is a court order. That is what controls. NOT your wishes or decisions.

 

[wileybunch]

So you are wanting to stick it to dad more than wanting to get your son help.

Exactly.
So why isn't Mom's access to son being restricted since she's proven to be harmful to him?

Seriously, Mom, love your kid MORE. You're not doing all that YOU should be doing.

 

[LdiJ]

OG and Wiley....

I think its pretty clear here that something major is going on with the child, and it very well could be due (in part) to dad's attitude and what happens at dad's during visits. Watching dad break dishes and rant because stepmom picked up the child against dad's wishes and watching dad slash tires on a van so that stepmom cannot leave clearly is going to do a number on a child that may already have mental/emotional imbalances.

The child's counselor is concerned enough to have involved social services.

I don't think this is one that we can dismiss as the child refusing to go due to poor parenting.

 

[Ohiogal]

OG and Wiley....

I think its pretty clear here that something major is going on with the child, and it very well could be due (in part) to dad's attitude and what happens at dad's during visits. Watching dad break dishes and rant because stepmom picked up the child against dad's wishes and watching dad slash tires on a van so that stepmom cannot leave clearly is going to do a number on a child that may already have mental/emotional imbalances.

The child's counselor is concerned enough to have involved social services.

I don't think this is one that we can dismiss as the child refusing to go due to poor parenting.

Did mom ever take the child to the ER as I suggested (in her other thread) to check for physical evidence of sex abuse? Something is going on however mom is NOT doing the right thing either.

 

[wileybunch]

OG and Wiley....

I think its pretty clear here that something major is going on with the child, and it very well could be due (in part) to dad's attitude and what happens at dad's during visits. Watching dad break dishes and rant because stepmom picked up the child against dad's wishes and watching dad slash tires on a van so that stepmom cannot leave clearly is going to do a number on a child that may already have mental/emotional imbalances.

The child's counselor is concerned enough to have involved social services.

I don't think this is one that we can dismiss as the child refusing to go due to poor parenting.

Ldij, parenting involves more than legal maneuvers. In fact, for most, legal maneuvers isn't part of parenting at all. Think about it. Clues have been generally shared in this thread already.

 

[xxnatalixx]

He's been everywhere. (ER, therapists, etc.) It was his step brother who had done things to him and really my concern with that was for one, where did that kid learn it in the first place, (he was only 5) and two, why were they not being supervised knowing that it was an issue. My son is older now and has gone to a private violence counselor as well and she did not believe it was an issue any longer. I am not defending my decision to keep him from going there either. I know it was not the right thing to do. I was genuinly scared for my son though. Honestly I don't think any of this has really been about my son. His step mother is the one pushing for visitation. His father told me that himself. He said he just get's tired of hearing her *itch. She is just making this a power struggle over my son. She is still sending me these letters of her demands, trying to go to all his appointments, which I actually let her do for a while to try to keep the peace. Then she started getting violent with me in front of the kids. Also she would make my son Dr's appointments and pull him out of school to take him without my knowledge of the appointment at all. She sent me a 3 page letter about how I was not allowed to stop the visits while his dad was in jail and that she would be picking him up from school weather I liked it or not. I have tried so hard to keep the peace and compromise but she is never happy. Even with everything that has happend I always encourage my son to go (except the one day I didn't make him go) and have a good time and to obey and respect them both. They actually do a lot of fun things with him, but he still has seen so much violence there that it's just not worth it to him I guess.

 

[cyjeff]

If dad is in jail, why would you think we wouldn't need to know that information?

 

[xxnatalixx]

So you are wanting to stick it to dad more than wanting to get your son help. YOU do not have a right to UNILATERALLY set up visits at the visitation center. There is a court order. That is what controls. NOT your wishes or decisions.

The exchanges at the visitation center was a joint decision. I know I don't have the right to just demand that they are done there. I do not want to "stick it" to anyone. I would love for my son to have a good relationship with his dad and step mother. I had even at one point given his dad more than standard visitation because I thought that way they wouldn't be so angry all the time and my son might actually enjoy his time with them, but the judge didn't think it was in his best interest and changed it back to standard.

 

[xxnatalixx]

If dad is in jail, why would you think we wouldn't need to know that information?

He's not there any more. I posted something about it earlier. The first one I think. He was not suppose to be driving and it was his 5th offense. He got 20 days.

 

[wileybunch]

He's been everywhere. (ER, therapists, etc.) It was his step brother who had done things to him and really my concern with that was for one, where did that kid learn it in the first place, (he was only 5) and two, why were they not being supervised knowing that it was an issue. My son is older now and has gone to a private violence counselor as well and she did not believe it was an issue any longer. I am not defending my decision to keep him from going there either. I know it was not the right thing to do. I was genuinly scared for my son though. Honestly I don't think any of this has really been about my son. His step mother is the one pushing for visitation. His father told me that himself. He said he just get's tired of hearing her *itch. She is just making this a power struggle over my son. She is still sending me these letters of her demands, trying to go to all his appointments, which I actually let her do for a while to try to keep the peace. Then she started getting violent with me in front of the kids. Also she would make my son Dr's appointments and pull him out of school to take him without my knowledge of the appointment at all. She sent me a 3 page letter about how I was not allowed to stop the visits while his dad was in jail and that she would be picking him up from school weather I liked it or not. I have tried so hard to keep the peace and compromise but she is never happy. Even with everything that has happend I always encourage my son to go (except the one day I didn't make him go) and have a good time and to obey and respect them both. They actually do a lot of fun things with him, but he still has seen so much violence there that it's just not worth it to him I guess.

Has this been discussed previously in this thread or is this the first you've mentioned anything about this?

I don't understand this at all. Cryptically we learn that *something* happened with stepbrother, yet you kept son going and even made him go when s-mother insisted she had a right to have the child when Dad was in jail? Is that what you're saying? Dad in jail -- no brainer -- don't send child. As for what the stepbrother did, no clue what that's about ....

Has there been any family counseling offered or done? If not, why not?

 

[xxnatalixx]

Sorry, I kind of get in a hurry and just expect everyone to read my mind. The thing about his step brother was posted in a previous thread back in 2006. They take me to court a couple times a year. They keep taking me for contempt, custody, different things but I've never been in contempt and when they took me for full custody, that's when they ended up with less visitation because my son's counselor testified that it was not in my son's best interest to continue with the schedule we already had or for him to live with his dad. Anyway, I did not let step mom have him when dad was in jail. I just wanted to show what I am dealing with as far as the step mom goes. She is a control freak and will not even let me talk to my son's dad. They claim he cannot read so she has to write his letters for him. I know he can read because back in high school he wrote me letters every day. It's frustrating that I have to deal with her, but IF it would keep the peace, I would do it anyway.

 

[2Mistakes]

I find it funny that when OPs aren't hearing what they want, they come back with a bunch more info that wasn't mentioned before.

OP, we don't feel like going back to read threads from 2006. Post any RELEVANT info in your current thread, preferrably in the first post so that everyone has all the necessary facts to advise you properly.

I still stand by my advice that your son needs more mental help than you are seeking for him.

It sounds like SOMETHING has happened to him SOMEWHERE, and the behavior he is currently displaying is NOT normal. He obviously does not have the coping skills he needs.

For the love of God woman, get this poor kid some help!